• Act like a Lady, Think like a Man

  • What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment
  • By: Steve Harvey
  • Narrated by: Mike Hodge
  • Length: 6 hrs and 5 mins
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars (5,319 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

An international best seller

With translations in more than thirty languages, Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man is the definitive relationship guide for women.

Steve Harvey can't count the number of impressive women he's met over the years - the many incredible women who can run a business, have three kids, maintain a household in tiptop shape, and chair a church group all at the same time. So when it comes to relationships, why can't these same women figure out what makes men commit? According to Steve, it's because they're asking other women for advice when they should be going directly to the source. In this expanded edition, Steve includes an added section of all new advice, with tips on dealing with your partner's exes, spicing up your relationship, ensuring you're ready for that walk down the aisle, and much more.

Sometimes funny, often unflinchingly direct, but always truthful, Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man is a book you must listen to if you want to understand how men think when it comes to relationships, intimacy, and love.

©2009, 2014 Steve Harvey (P)2015 HarperCollins Publishers

What listeners say about Act like a Lady, Think like a Man

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Worth a listen

I had mixed feelings about getting this book from some of the negative reviews. One of my friends recommended it to me so, with the audible return policy in mind, I purchased it.
I am an educated professional woman and did NOT find this to be "too 1950s". I feel that I gained some understanding into the way many males approach dating. I will listen to it again

59 people found this helpful

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Blegch... Avoid

Not the revolutionary eye-opener many purported it to be. Just a lot of common sense tempered with a load of antiquated advice. Save yourself six hours; book sums up like this: just be Donna Reed, but also a closet nymphomaniac, and make sure to have the patience of a saint, but, you know, have standards and stand up for yourself because you're strong, except don't expect men to talk because they're simple, and -- whatever you do -- don't ice a man out for more than a few days, otherwise he'll cheat and it'll be your fault because he can't help it. Never met an actual man as gross as the supposed 'Everyman' Harvey describes.

52 people found this helpful

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A book that teaches you to be sublime

Maybe I am too independent, maybe I am not that old fashion, but this book is basically telling you, suck it up, please your man, compliment you man, do things for your man, because for him to feel a man you must do all this things. Worse book I have ever read.

46 people found this helpful

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Overall it was very informative

I'm a man reading this book. was recommended by a friend. At first I was thrown by the title but, after the first chapter the insight helped explain some of my own hang ups about why I hadn't found a good woman yet. some of the content was not for me and that was to be expected.
the standards to hold others by and how to quickly identify what others are looking for was not exclusive to the male gender. I would recommend this to all who have found and wasted time on someone (whom you've always known deep down) that was not really giving themselves to your relationship.

I identified with both sides of the stories in this book, I gave my love to someone that always knew I was never the one and couldn't admit it to herself, or was simply just using me until my usefulness went away. on the otherside I have given time away on those looking for a quick hook up and wanted more after. Now with the help of this book I will use the tests set up to identify who is looking for love and who is looking for love "tonight".

......recommend to Men by a man if you want love and are not sure why you haven't fallen in love yet!



41 people found this helpful

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Insightful look into the minds of men

Although I might agree with all the opinions and what not expressed in this book it did open my eyes a bit to how I could improve my relationship with my partner. Things that seem normal or logical to us women might be totally different in a man's mind. Things I learned in this book that I have already applied in my own relationship have given positive reactions so I look forward to using this reference more in my life. I hope others in a similar situation as I am will also use this and be successful with it.

32 people found this helpful

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Poorly Written, Uneducated Views

This book wasn’t for you, but who do you think might enjoy it more?

This book is extremely geared towards the African American community, which is great for that demographic - but not for me.

Would you ever listen to anything by Steve Harvey again?

Maybe if it wasn't serious. My opinion changed about him after listening to some of this, I stopped less than halfway through. That's how bad of a listen this was.

Any additional comments?

Poorly written. Sorry, maybe I'm just traditional - but this book basically blames women for men cheating. Multiple times he says that it's because women don't give them "the cookie" regularly enough and that it's natural for men to cheat. Sure, it may be an evolutionary tendency for men to seek sex - but here's an idea, WOMEN ENJOY SEX TOO. Also, this is coming from a man who has openly admitted to cheating on his wife. It's not our job to initiate sex all of the time. If you're in a solid relationship, both partners will initiate sex and work together on maintaining intimacy. Overall, if you're a loyal woman that respects yourself and respects the loyal man you're with - this will be a bad choice for you. As mentioned before, I had to stop it after about 2 hours. Sorry Steve Harvey, you should stick to being funny.

30 people found this helpful

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How to set the women's movement back 50 years

What disappointed you about Act like a Lady, Think like a Man?

If this were a column in The Onion, I'd have taken the content differently, but this was a complete and utter waste of money.

Would you ever listen to anything by Steve Harvey again?

Not likely.

Who would you have cast as narrator instead of Mike Hodge?

Yes, unfortunately, he was perfect for this trainwreck.

You didn’t love this book... but did it have any redeeming qualities?

Perhaps for some men who have just stepped out of the cave, but if you have ANY basic humanity, no.

26 people found this helpful

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Sexist and 1950s...

There are some advices which you can consider useful, but it not any unique for this only book. At large it is very sexist and really, really old fashioned. Also it clearly represents the authors cultural back ground. If you consider your self a educated women of 21 century and especially do not share the author's cultural background- do not waste your time on this book. There are other books you better read "How to get the guy" by Matthew Hussey, or to "Date the man, you must understand a man" by Gregg Michaelsen

22 people found this helpful

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Men are Pigs

What disappointed you about Act like a Lady, Think like a Man?

What I detested about this book is that it stated that all men are generally all pigs who can't control their desires. Which makes them animals incapable of making higher intelligent choices. And all the fault in a relationship gone wrong is the women in them. There are some good points in the first half of the book (because I couldn't finish the second half) about women standing up for themselves but overall rubbish. Also, I figured Steve harvey was a man who supported women but he applauds the fact that his wife gave up two things she really enjoys because it bothered him....I am assuming in their relationship that works but in the book it comes off as unfair.

What could Steve Harvey have done to make this a more enjoyable book for you?

Been his own narrator and.

Any additional comments?

Don't waste a credit.

17 people found this helpful

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As a man, I think this is a great primer for women

This book was mentioned to me by a friend, and I agreed to have a listen and see what trash was being spouted by Steve Harvey. From the beginning to the end, I couldn't believe hiw spot on it was. This is not a book just for women in my humble opinion - this reminds a man that he is a beautiful creature made exactly as he he was supposed to be. We can curb our more destructive tendencies, but this book severed as a sort of affirmation that being a real man, especially in today's world, is not only achievable, but preferable and expected. highest praise for Mr. Harvey's work here.

16 people found this helpful

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  • Mrs E. Whapshott
  • 12-01-15

Entertaining and helpful!

I loved listening to this book! This book IS helpful! I have a friend currently being used by men and I have recommended that she gets this book as honestly ladies, there is soooo much truth in what this man says! I know this from how my boyfriend treats and respects me, and from thinking back to other relationships where I was not treated as well, and now I know why, and what I would have done differently having listened to the book to change the man faster and NOT my behaviour.
Give this book a go, I have never written such a glowing report on a book, so please don't think twice, listen and enjoy, but most of all learn, and respect your boundaries.

9 people found this helpful

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  • Em&Me
  • 05-27-19

The 1950s called, they want their advice back...

I’ll start with the fact that there are a handful of useful tips in this book.

The trouble is that the useful parts are smothered in so much outdated, sexist and religious nonsense that it really is difficult to pick the diamonds out of the bull.

In the interests of full disclosure I will happily admit that I listened to the end, this was because it was like watching a slow motion train crash. I kept listening, thinking ‘wait, he surely did not just say that’ but oh yes, he most certainly does.

Undoubtedly this is a good performance, but I’d expect that from a man who cut his teeth in stand up.

Would I recommend women should listen to this? For the advice, no but for the (unintentional) laugh at his ideas? Oh yes but wait until the price is reduced.

5 people found this helpful

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  • J Small
  • 09-16-15

Steve Harvey needs to narrate his own books

Is there anything you would change about this book?

With a character as big as his, anyone else reading it is just going to sound second rate so, although we've got a lot of use out of the book the fact is the man needs to narrate his own book. The content has been good for debate though.

What did you like best about this story?

Controversial topic

How did the narrator detract from the book?

He isn't Steve Harvey and no one can conjure up that character so anyone else reading it detracts from the book; it needs to be read with the braggadocio that he carries.

Did Act like a Lady, Think like a Man inspire you to do anything?

Had lots of debates with the girls in the nail salon over this one

4 people found this helpful

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  • Mrs J M Palmer
  • 06-28-18

Old fashioned.

Could not finish this. Like listening to dating advice from your ageing relative who is in a controlling relationship with his partner.

3 people found this helpful

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  • Moriam. O. Baruwa
  • 04-22-16

I wish this book was placed in my hands 13year ago

I love the humour in this book. it encompasses knowledge all women should know. Narrator was great and enjoyed listening.

3 people found this helpful

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  • Caroline dalton
  • 11-11-15

Surprisingly informative

Liked the Insite in to how men think

Great for single woman/ early dating

Worth the read .

3 people found this helpful

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  • Halliday
  • 05-01-17

Out dated sexist dating advice

Never have I had to stop an audio book out of disgust but I listened to this as far as I could. I'm an open minded person and like to listen to different points of view but had to stop the audio when Steve talks about how he loves his wife so much that she can't take part in adventure sports anymore. How controlling and emotionally abusing is that.

Nope not for me. I would rather be single than date a guy like that.

2 people found this helpful

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  • jennifer
  • 11-27-16

stuck in the past.

an old fashioned out dated view of life. couldn't finish as too many self absorbed opionions. it was as tho i was reading a self proclaimed I'm ok I'm not a bad person book

2 people found this helpful

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  • Ms
  • 06-11-15

Enjoyable

Clear and to the point. Not a difficult listen. Waited s long time and it was worth the wait.

An opportunity to understand the other gender a little better.

2 people found this helpful

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  • Jennifer Smith
  • 05-09-20

Act Like a Lady

I found it to be a tad sexist if I'm truthful but, everyone's different.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Jeanne Bowry
  • 09-16-18

To much emphasis on God

For the most part I enjoyed this audiobook, however, I was endlessly bored and disgruntled by the frequent reference to the importance of God. For us atheist listers (who also manage to have good morals and values, thank you very much) the inclusion of God in a relationship is redundant and in all honesty would be a great detriment to a potential relationship. The book fails to acknowledge that there are plenty of genuine catches that don’t believe in God, and that it is better to find someone with a similar belief system to yours than to blindly look for someone that worships God, when you wholeheartedly don’t believe in such things and can’t understand those that do.

6 people found this helpful

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  • Sandie
  • 01-31-18

entertaining and educational

I prefer the author to read but the narrator was good. funny and educational book.

3 people found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 07-17-20

Must read

I love this book and the honesty of how men are and how they think it’s really a eye opener for sure recommend this to all the ladies who feel they want an insight to how a man really thinks

2 people found this helpful

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  • C&J.A18
  • 02-28-16

Enjoyed it and laughed along the way.

Book flew! I still think some of the ideas were a bit old fashioned but I will take the suggestions on board and see where it takes me.

2 people found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 06-17-21

not cool

found him very chauvinistic and humongous ego which is not very manly in my eyes.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 09-26-22

Absolute garbage mysogyny and an embarrassment

Nothing of any help here, I actually thought it must be a joke!! He can’t possibly be saying these things in 2022… more like 1950.

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  • Arabella Ticehurst
  • 06-06-22

So insightful

As a divorcee in my early thirties, this book was so insight as someone who spent her entire 20’s in a committed relationship only to back into the dating pool now as a single mother.

I wish I had known some of the lessons from this book 10yrs ago.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 06-09-21

Love it!

Thoroughly enjoyed this book!
I learnt heaps while also having a laugh.
I recommend it to all women regard of marital status

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 05-16-21

Out of touch

How about teaching men it’s ok not to be number one all the time and that emotional intelligence is as important in men as in women??

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  • Anonymous User
  • 02-15-21

good but nothing groundbreaking

Harvey's narration is a treat! However nothing really blew me away. it's a good read to refresh on boundary setting and expectations.

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