• Allow Me to Retort

  • A Black Guy's Guide to the Constitution
  • By: Elie Mystal
  • Narrated by: Elie Mystal
  • Length: 8 hrs and 37 mins
  • 4.9 out of 5 stars (1,772 ratings)

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Allow Me to Retort

By: Elie Mystal
Narrated by: Elie Mystal
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Publisher's Summary

MSNBC legal commentator Elie Mystal thinks that Republicans are wrong about the law almost all of the time. Now, instead of talking about this on cable news, Mystal explains why in his first book.

“After reading Allow Me to Retort, I want Elie Mystal to explain everything I don’t understand - quantum astrophysics, the infield fly rule, why people think Bob Dylan is a good singer....” (Michael Harriot, The Root)

Allow Me to Retort is an easily digestible argument about what rights we have, what rights Republicans are trying to take away, and how to stop them. Mystal explains how to protect the rights of women and people of color instead of cowering to the absolutism of gun owners and bigots. He explains the legal way to stop everything from police brutality to political gerrymandering, just by changing a few judges and justices. He strips out all of the fancy jargon conservatives like to hide behind and lays bare the truth of their project to keep America forever tethered to its slaveholding past.

Mystal brings his trademark humor, expertise, and rhetorical flair to explain concepts like substantive due process and the right for the LGBTQ community to buy a cake, and to arm listeners with the knowledge to defend themselves against conservatives who want everybody to live under the yoke of 18th-century White men. The same tactics Mystal uses to defend the idea of a fair and equal society on MSNBC and CNN are in this book, for anybody who wants to deploy them on social media.

You don’t need to be a legal scholar to understand your own rights. You don’t need to accept the “Whites only” theory of equality pushed by conservative judges. You can listen to this book to understand that the Constitution is trash but doesn’t have to be.

©2022 Elie Mystal (P)2022 Audible, Inc.

What listeners say about Allow Me to Retort

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Informative and Entertaining

Constitution explained in a way everybody can understand. A must read for all who cares about equality. Loved it.

12 people found this helpful

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Elie is Magnificent

Reading the book was a revelation in itself, but hearing the Audible read by the author himself is a uniquely exhilarating experience. Elie reads just the way he talks on TV - brash, no BS, and fun to hear. Most highly recommended!

10 people found this helpful

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Don't waste your time!

I stopped listening and uninstalled the book when he called his kids (ages 5 and 8), "total fucking assholes".
I was intrigued to hear Elie's perspective on race and the cobstitution, but that intrigue turned to disappointment. He rants about how awful white people are, with no regard that not all white people are awful and some of them paid money to hear this book. Now, if I see him on TV, I will not watch and I certainly won't buy any future rants/books!

8 people found this helpful

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Informative & Enjoyable

The best way to read this book is to let Elie read it to you.

5 people found this helpful

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This book should be required reading!

This audio book is amazing! Ellie Mystyl is amazing I haven't enjoyed anything this much in a long time.

It is well-thought-out & put together coherently. It is informative, funny and full of facts that you may not know.

The best teachers are the ones who give you the facts with a little bit of humor thrown in. And that's what you'll get here.

Do yourself a huge favor and read/listen to it a few times!

4 people found this helpful

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Must Read….

ESSENTIAL READING!!! For my White Brothers and Sisters too…. This is how we get an understanding! Str8 Facts, no chasers! Thanks

4 people found this helpful

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Excellent!!

A must listen for all Americans who yearn for justice for all and a more perfect union.

4 people found this helpful

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Makes You Think Hard

Mr Mystal has a brilliant, factual stand on rewriting the US Constitution! A Must read

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Painful narration

One of the absolute worst narrators I've encountered in the last 300+ titles. I can practically hear the spittle flying as Elie is shouting into the microphone. The impression of vitreal that the style of writing and the narration together generate also feels to drown out some of the very valid substance of the book.

Really wanted to like this, but think pretty much anyone is better served by reading other books on racial history, discrimination, law and current political landscape in the US. There are so many options to pick from, so do yourself a favour, and use your credit on another title.

2 people found this helpful

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Extremely Timely

Elie Mystal explains what is wrong with the justice system and how to fix it.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 08-01-22

Excellent insight with a dash of snarky humour

Great insight into how the US constitution is explicitly interlinked with a white, rich patriarchy and how the government is structured to protect that power to this day. Elie pulls no punches and narrates with his trademark snark in a blend of seriousness and dark humour that works extremely well for me.

Highly recommend it to anyone who wants an overview of how the constitution is both used and misused to preserve power in the hands of a few historically privileged groups.

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  • Ruth Mitchell
  • 10-13-22

Provocative

A great read if you’re interested in learning more about the constitutional framing, structure and function of the SC. Lots of snark on the side. It is a book that conservative voters need to read because his arguments could move the conversation (among the electorate) forward; but his unapologetically partisan position and gleeful pwning of republicans will render this almost impossible.

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  • Moneenroe
  • 03-29-22

Exceptional.

Highly entertaining and massively informative. Every law student would benefit from this book. Every non- white supremacist would enjoy reading it or listening on Audible.

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  • Kiwibird
  • 06-25-22

Thank you, Elie!

It was refreshing to hear my own words yelled at me - and not vice versa!