1 title per month from Audible’s entire catalog of best sellers, and new releases.
Access a growing selection of included Audible Originals, audiobooks and podcasts.
You will get an email reminder before your trial ends.
Your Premium Plus plan is $14.95 a month after 30 day trial. Cancel anytime.
Buy for $34.99

Buy for $34.99

Pay using card ending in
By confirming your purchase, you agree to Audible's Conditions of Use and Amazon's Privacy Notice. Taxes where applicable.

Publisher's Summary

This intimate memoir reveals the woman inside one of autism’s most prominent figures, Jennifer O'Toole. At the age of 35, Jennifer was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome, and for the first time in her life, things made sense. Now, she exposes the constant struggle between carefully crafted persona and authentic existence, editing the autism script with wit, candor, passion, and power. Her journey is one of reverse-self-discovery not only as an Aspie but - more importantly - as a thoroughly modern woman. 

Beyond being a memoir, Autism in Heels is a love letter to all women. It’s a conversation starter, a game-changer, and a firsthand account of what it is to walk in Jennifer's shoes (especially those iconic red stilettos). 

Whether it's bad perms or body image, sexuality or self-esteem, Jennifer's journey is as much a human journey as one on the spectrum. Because autism looks a bit different in pink, most girls and women who fit the profile are not identified, facing years of avoidable anxiety, eating disorders, volatile relationships, self-harm, and stunted independence. Jennifer has been there, too. Autism in Heels takes that message mainstream. 

From her own struggles and self-discovery, she has built an empire of empowerment, inspiring women the world over to realize they aren't mistakes. They are misunderstood miracles.

©2018 Jennifer Cook O'Toole (P)2020 Dreamscape Media, LLC

What listeners say about Autism in Heels

Average Customer Ratings
Overall
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    163
  • 4 Stars
    26
  • 3 Stars
    5
  • 2 Stars
    3
  • 1 Stars
    2
Performance
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    141
  • 4 Stars
    18
  • 3 Stars
    7
  • 2 Stars
    5
  • 1 Stars
    2
Story
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    143
  • 4 Stars
    20
  • 3 Stars
    6
  • 2 Stars
    2
  • 1 Stars
    2

Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.

Sort by:
Filter by:
  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

A must read for women with late diagnosis

Jennifer’s book illuminated so many blind spots for me in my life as an undiagnosed autistic female. I cried, laughed and listened along with my husband so I could share my own experience and get his perspective on parts I didn’t understand. We both learned so much.

8 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

down my own personal memory lane, with tears

Dear Jennifer, thank you for writing this for us. Thank you for helping me understand my daughter, my sister, my mother, and myself. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your story. thank you for writing the books you wanted to read. may we all learn from your courage. <3

7 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

amazing

I was completely able to identify with this author and her experiences. i already know i am autistic and this book helped me with conformation. i just hope that i will able to successfully gain my diagnosis so i can have better support in navigating this NT world.

4 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Bravo!

This is an excellent read by an important advocate for women on the spectrum. Jennifer's informative and personal style of writing is matched in value by her masterful narration of her journey. I have both the kindle version and audible narration of this important work. Although it was great to reference the text in terms of emerging understanding of neurodiversity, I found myself most enjoying listening to Jennifer add nuance and color to her language. It's as much a work of art as it is a step forward in qualitative research for females with ASD. This rare and wonderful balance gifts the reader/listerner with a sense of deep understanding, while feeling deeply understood,

4 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars

Ruined by the narration

Jennifer O'Toole has an interesting story to tell -- her own. Her experience with autism is comprehensive and well documented. Unfortunately, this book is not so much about autism as it is about HER. The author loves talking about herself. Her melodramatic narration reminds me of the loud person at a party who thinks they're hilarious. Too much ego for me. Although she does provide a unique female perspective, those looking for a sensitive discussion about autism are advised to look elsewhere.

3 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

captivating

loved it. my story was being told by another me. 💘 never thought I would find another experience like mine. very well read. paints a picture anyone can see. thank you!

3 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars

Great lows and great highs

We live in a society where the successful and the well-to-do are listened to and heard. For that reason, J. O’Toole is an effective advocate for A spectrum people. I am very sympathetic to people on the spectrum. I am less sympathetic to those who appear to have incredible ‘coping’ skills because their ‘experiences’ ultimately seem little more ‘confounding’ than those of ‘neuro typicals’. Any teacher will tell you that individual children/adults tackle problems differently. If a person successfully tackles a problem, it does not usually matter HOW they do it. The author has undeniably suffered serious traumatic incidents but if I understand her story she has experienced great successes, and in her roles as an all A’s student, as star stage performer and athlete, as gorgeous teen/ cheerleader she has experienced incredible adulation and adoration. I am not going to say that ‘things even out’, but I am going to say that most neuro typicals will envy her life’s ‘highs’ (which most of us will NEVER attain) and therefore my response to her story is we all experience highs and lows - it’s just that you have experienced GREAT highs and GREAT lows. Many/most A spectrum people are not as accomplished and successful as the author. I would find their stories more instructive about the A spectrum experience. In the end, I think I am saying that while the author is an effective A spectrum advocate, she is NOT an ideal one.

2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    1 out of 5 stars

RUINED BY NARRATION

I am still going to try the written version because I think there is a valuable story. The author would have been well advised to choose a professional narrator.

2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Even if she isn’t right, it’s familiar and safe.

I’m being tested. And I may not fall into the spectrum in some ways but I quite literally have a “family joke” about not being able to take me shoe shopping as a kid, for the EXACT same reasons as her!

Realizing through reading this book that so many of my tantrums growing up were actually sensory issues I was told to burry and “get over” … and I did. And I’ve ignored my inner feelings throughout my life just to still never fit in or understand what I was doing wrong. Why couldn’t it just be normal?

This book feels familiar, and validating does every instance in my life I have felt crazy or spoiled or “too much” … and now I know it’s not because I was too much, it’s because nobody understood. Which is exactly how I’ve felt my entire life.

1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

A wonderful book

I loved this. As someone with Autism, this helps me better understand myself. I was diagnosed at 5, but didn't know about it till I was 13. Ever since then I've wanted to learn more about Autism so I could learn about and understand myself. I'm also an aspiring writer and storytelling, so it's a bit upsetting to see how we are portrayed in media. It also seemed heard to find stories of people with Autism like me, so when I saw this book I was so happy and I really enjoyed it.

1 person found this helpful

Sort by:
Filter by:
  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Eva
  • Eva
  • 11-17-20

Some good info but very narrow point of view

I was very excited to listen to this book.
Unfortunately it didn’t meet my expectations. The author uses her own experience and seems to generalize those to be a one size fits all persons on the autism spectrum, especially women, and that’s just wrong. People on the autism spectrum are as diverse as the rest of the human spectrum, if you have met one autistic person, then you have only met one! Not everyone who is autistic has mind blindness not everyone who is autistic (also those diagnosed as adults) has low self esteem and so on. That being said the author has her experiences, some are relevant to this book,she is autistic and a mother of autistic kids so absolutely has that experience/expertise. Unfortunately she chooses to generalize her own views and experience like every AS person is the same as her and that devalues the book. That is disinformation and can cause further problems for those on the spectrum.

4 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Sarah Tobbell
  • Sarah Tobbell
  • 05-26-20

Thank you.

Usually when you wright a book review you start by saying how good it was; however the only words I have for this book is thank you;

1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Chloe
  • Chloe
  • 03-26-22

Painfully relatable and so very needed

This is the book I needed when going through the diagnosis process. 10 years ago, when I was being diagnosed, having this book would have been so very helpful. It was a very validating listen and also extremely helpful. I would recommend to anyone

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Deirdre
  • Deirdre
  • 01-01-22

Loved this book.

Thank you for writing this book. I had so many Ah ha! moments. So much now makes sense. Your honesty is so helpful as it clearly illustrates the points you are making. You get how I think, learn, feel and that gives me hope for myself & all the other women & girls on the spectrum out there.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Michelle
  • Michelle
  • 12-09-21

This Lady is Me! Thorough and educational ♥️

OH MY GOODNESS!! this book is an absolute MUST! Obsessed and absorbed by this book, it's uncannily close to my own experiences only I never knew WHY I have always been so different

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Amazon Customer
  • Amazon Customer
  • 07-26-21

Inspirational

Truly eye opening

If you ever had even the smallest of doubts in your mind... You won't question yourself after reading this book.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Anonymous User
  • Anonymous User
  • 04-20-21

Fantastic and enlightening

I wonderful book that should be read by many girls and women around the world. Thank you for sharing.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for ChildOfTheUniverse
  • ChildOfTheUniverse
  • 01-06-21

Fascinating, enlightening

I absolutely loved this book - and it's answered a lot of questions for me! I noticed some people criticised the author's animated delivery - I can't imagine why, her delivery suits the book very well. It's extremely enlightening, written with both passion and compassion. Recommended.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for LanaLeigh
  • LanaLeigh
  • 01-02-21

A Truly life changing book.

I really can't express what an incredible book this is. This is an absolute must read for women on the spectrum and the people close to them. The only reason I gave the performance 4 stars was because the sound of her swallowing loudly between sentences drove me a but mad but hey! I have Aspergers! I think its a phenomenal piece of work overall and I'm keen to read her other books.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for AvidReader
  • AvidReader
  • 09-22-20

sceptical at first but oh so worth it!!

As someone on the spectrum who struggles with my identification as a woman, I assumed this will not be my cup of tea. I could not have been more wrong, Jennifer is eloquently and entertainingly illustrates and explores so many of the experiences I can relate to. This made for a brilliant read and such a help in feeling a little less alienated in the world of autism experiences. Also a guild of sorts for what is to come and a tool to help me explain some of my process more clearly to others.

Sort by:
Filter by:
  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Anonymous User
  • Anonymous User
  • 04-16-22

Amazing

an eye opening, insightful book, not only into the world of aspys, but from someone who is experiencing it themselves

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Miriam Miles
  • Miriam Miles
  • 10-11-21

A very encouraging read for women finding themselves on the Autistic Spectrum.

As a mature woman only recently discovering my own unique autism journey, I found this book to be heartfelt, genuine and so encouraging. Hearing others stories is helping me understand myself in ways I did not anticipate and this book has provided even more support to my own findings.
I would recommend this book to anyone looking for an autobiographical exploration of being an autistic woman.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Anonymous User
  • Anonymous User
  • 09-07-21

amazing book

As an autistic woman I really loved the way she wrote this book the way she explain what executive functioning and the brains work. I would recommend this book to anyone I'm on it's like to be autistic.

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    2 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Marcy
  • Marcy
  • 08-06-21

Disappointing


This book is not for me. I was so excited to listen to it and loved the idea behind it. I came in hoping to get a clear perspective on female autism and came out utterly confused.

This book was neither a memoir nor a empirically based informative text. It was somewhere in between. The author though claimed to have done years of research, so it felt like she could have delivered this better but never got there.

There was no flow or logical argument which often times made me frustrated, often times the author did not make her point clear. I can see that she tried writing this in a ‘different’ and ‘quirky’ way but i am not sure it worked.

It could have been a great book if her memoirs and scientific info were explored in a clearer and more succinct way. Maybe better editing could have helped avoid so much rambling, unnecessary analogies, and endless lists of adjectives.

Her voice is also not great to listen to, it sounds exaggerated and whiny.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Emily
  • Emily
  • 05-08-21

For every women who is new to ASD

This should be recommended to every girl that gets a diagnosis in there 20s or later of Autism. I think where this book shines with how clear it is about what it is like to live with autism. This is why I recommend parents of newly diagnosed daughter read this book too to help understand the world through their daughters eyes

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Anonymous User
  • Anonymous User
  • 08-22-20

great book.

very informative. well read. eye opener. helped me so much. everyone should read it. thanks