• Beyond Behaviors

  • Using Brain Science and Compassion to Understand and Solve Children's Behavioral Challenges
  • By: Mona Delahooke PhD
  • Narrated by: Coleen Marlo
  • Length: 7 hrs and 49 mins
  • 4.8 out of 5 stars (233 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

A new approach to solving behavioral challenges.  

In Beyond Behaviors, internationally known pediatric psychologist Dr. Mona Delahooke describes behaviors as the tip of the iceberg, important signals that we should address by seeking to understand a child's individual differences in the context of relational safety.  

This accessible book offers professionals, educators, and parents tools and techniques to reduce behavioral challenges and promote psychological resilience and satisfying, secure relationships.   

Neuroscience-based effective tools and strategies for children labeled with: Conduct Disorder; Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD); Disruptive Mood Dysregulation Disorder (DMDD); Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD); Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD); Anxiety and Depression; and Autism and Developmental or Learning Differences.  

And children who experience or have experienced: aggressive, confusing and unpredictable behaviors; tantrums and meltdowns; disconnection or shutdown; adverse childhood experiences; and trauma and toxic stress.

©2019 Mona Delahooke (P)2019 Tantor

What listeners say about Beyond Behaviors

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A must read for anyone who works with children.

Whole Brain Child, Discipline with out Damage, No Drama Discipline- all books that have been wonderful and helpful. This book fills a gap and goes deeper into bottom up behaviors and where they come from. Anyone who works with children will benefit from this book. If you have been a struggling parent this is a game changer.

14 people found this helpful

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fantastic book with great info but buy the book

this book is very informative, thorough, and narrated very well. i recommend buying the actual book because you really need the worksheets. it's nice to have this book playing while getting things done around the house, but if you can't do the suggested exercises you're really missing out.

6 people found this helpful

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very helpful

I only wish the print outs were available, since this was a purchased item.

5 people found this helpful

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Not audio friendly

This is not a book to listen to on Audible to many worksheets and things to be able to follow along auditory. I would suggest getting the physical book if you are interested in reading this I found it not to be helpful.

5 people found this helpful

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Must read

Absolutely one of the best books I have ever read on my quest for knowledge on how to help my child. This book provides insights into raising children with a present compassionate approach rather than the traditional authoritative consequence reaction.

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highly recommend

I loved this book. it's a different perspective that's scientifically based and so compassionate. This work is so absolutely needed. I hope to see the paradigm shifting more and more away from diagnosis focused to what she presents here. highly recommend for caregivers, teachers, parents and clinicians!

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Professional recomendation

I am psychologist and this book is wonderful source to work with children and to view them through their individual nervous system. Useful worksheets and check lists.

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Interesting information.. too heady

I appreciate the theories explained in the book and believe they have merit in explaining the psychology behind my child’s behavior but I would like more on how to apply this theory in practice. It is very clinical and sounds more designed for PhD’s, not parents desperate for solutions to problematic behaviors. We don’t care what a theory is called, the scientific terms or where if came from… we just need answers!

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understanding my son & myself

Honestly I see a future where this book is a manual in a classroom that should be taught to every kid in school and to their parents so they parents so they can start rewiring their brain for a new mindset. It will change the world

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So Needed. For All of Us.

Delahooke succinctly and clearly explains the reasons and methods needed to relate to children on a “bottom-up” pathway - helping to calm their autonomic nervous system _first_. This helps their brains, their developing thinking brains, engage when they have been given the proper nervous system supports. Only then can they function in a “top-down” way, allowing the thinking brain to regulate behavior. I will be able to use what I have learned from this book to relate more effectively with children, adults and even elderly people. Such a priceless resource! Written in such an to understand style. I highly recommend this for all teachers, parents and anyone struggling to understand difficult behaviors.

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  • Erika Marczincsak
  • 12-09-19

Very interesting perspective!

I enjoyed this book, I found it very interesting.
There are like 30 worksheets in it tho - I’m hoping those can be downloaded somewhere rather than having to relisten and make notes.
The last chapter was my favourite one - it reminded me of the fact that playing with my children and saying yes to drawing with them or watch them working out a puzzle is so much more important than tidying up the kitchen!

2 people found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 09-28-21

A must read for parents, teachers and caregivers

Great book, easy to understand and great methods to work from. I recomand this book to all.

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  • indykatley
  • 04-07-21

Interesting book but needs an abridged version

I kinda struggled to finish this book although the narrator is exceptional and the information provided very interesting. However, it was way too long for me. When I was picking up from where I was left, I was kinda lost.

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  • Dana Latter
  • 08-04-20

Best book ever

Thank you Dr Mona Delahooke for writing this amazing book that changed our lives .

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  • Anonymous User
  • 01-05-21

Wonderfully insightful!

This book has shifted the way I look at my own and other children's behaviour and the way I parent. it's a shame the worksheets aren't included as a download, as these would have been really helpful!

3 people found this helpful

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  • Jasinge
  • 09-02-19

Best and only book answered my concerns.

I was looking for identifying strategies for root cause of my child's challenging behavior.
This book nailed it down nicely and now I understand I have wasted all money for therapists who even does not have a clue of what causes.

3 people found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 12-23-20

A must read

I loved this book. I loved the content but disappointed that the pdfs were not included. The paradigm shift that needs to happen.

2 people found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 02-14-20

A must read

I absolutely loved it. This book is a must read for anyone working with children who display challenging behaviours!

1 person found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 09-16-19

Great info

I found this really helpful for giving me the latest science in a parent friendly language to reframe behaviour and look at the potential causes instead of reacting to the symptoms. Highly recommend

1 person found this helpful

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  • Leanne Wakeling
  • 06-02-22

Enhancing perspective and grow understanding.

What a wonderful insight into how we as adults (parents, teachers, coaches and carers) can change the experience of a child by changing the way we consider and approach a child’s behaviour.

Another validation of how our attitude to a child can positively or negatively influence their outcomes. Meaning the more we can look at behaviour as a clue to what will help them most enables us as adults to empower them to respond in more resourceful ways.

Confirming behaviour is only the symptom or effect of the issue that needs to be resolved.

The more we can shift from responding in automatic and choose to be consciously considering what’s actually going on the more effective our responses can be to achieve the results we desire for and from them.

Somewhat academic at times, also includes case study examples to enhance understanding.

As a parent of now adult children, and as a mentor that serves parents of dynamic and difficult children, provides information to guide and increase success factors for families feeling overwhelmed by concern for their child’s future.

Highly recommend for those wishing to be conscious parents and raise wholehearted adults.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 11-27-21

Badly needs the pdf - not included.

Content was good, but uses a lot of tables, which without the PDF are difficult to imagine. I feel like I wasted time with a lot of this without the supporting material. Generally good case examples and ideas.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 03-20-21

A game-changer! A must-read!

I have been interested in peaceful / respectful / conscious / connected / mindful parenting for a decade and have read many great books and listened to countless podcast episodes that provide both tools and rationale for a calm, connected, empathic, non-punituve and non-shaming approach to parenting where self-awareness and self-regulation in the parent is key. I have also developed an interest in neuropsychology and modern attachment theory. This book has joined the dots for me in a profound and transformative way. Despite what I knew and what I intended, I still found it so hard not to get caught up in my kids' dysreguation. Beyond Behaviors has given me a fundamental perspective shift and I now feel that rather than having to simply use will power to "stay calm" or force myself to "stop, drop and breathe" (which I found SO hard to do in the moment), I have a deeper awareness of how my and my kids' nervous systems are functioning and influencing each other - it's alkost like I have some kind of neuro-telepathy and can see and hear things that were outside of, or peripheral to my awareness previously. But I only had part of the picture. This book put it all together so beautifully! I am now recommending it to EVERYONE. Apart from having my own four kids, I work in the forensic mental health system and wish every practitioner would read it! THANKYOU Mona Delahooke, for your your gift to the world of this amazing book!

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  • Lauren
  • 02-17-21

Brilliant!

Absolutely loved it and am recommending it to anyone and everyone who has anything to do with kids!