• Coldheart Canyon

  • A Hollywood Ghost Story
  • By: Clive Barker
  • Narrated by: Frank Muller
  • Length: 21 hrs and 20 mins
  • 4.4 out of 5 stars (466 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

Hollywood has made a star of Todd Pickett. But time is catching up with him. After plastic surgery goes awry, Todd needs somewhere to hide away for a few months while his scars heal.

As Todd settles into a mansion in Coldheart Canyon - a corner of the city so secret it doesn't even appear on a map - Tammy Lauper, the president of his fan club, comes to the City of Angels determined to solve the mystery of Todd's disappearance. The closer Tammy gets to Todd the more of Coldheart Canyon's secrets she uncovers: The ghosts of A-list stars; Katya Lupi, the cold-hearted, now-forgotten star for whom the Canyon was named, alive and exquisite after a hundred years; and, finally, the door in the bowels of Katya's dream-palace that reputedly opens up to another world, the Devil's Country, where no one has returned without their souls shadowed by what they've seen and done.

Mingling an insiders' view of modern Hollywood with a wild streak of visionary fantasy, Coldheart Canyon is an audiobook without parallel. An irresistible and unmerciful picture of Hollywood and its demons, told with all the style and raw narrative power that has made Clive Barker's books and films a phenomenon worldwide.

©2001 Clive Barker (P)2013 HarperCollins Publishers

What listeners say about Coldheart Canyon

Average Customer Ratings
Overall
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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

loved it & love Frank Muller (RIP)

Great story & full of suspense. Just scary enough. So sad for the loss of Frank Muller. I want him to read every story.

17 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars

Soft Porn

What would have made Coldheart Canyon better?

A fuller storyline and character development with less porn-like chapters.

What was most disappointing about Clive Barker’s story?

I was expecting a ghost story, given the title and description. What I got was a thinly veiled attempt at wrapping soft porn into mediocre fiction. The premise was initially interesting but the bulk of the book gets mired down with unnecessarily graphic sexual depravity meant to shock and intrigue. Instead, it became boring effort to listen to. I think it's important to disclose that I have a healthy sexual appetite and was not offended by the sexual context but felt more like the book tried to sneak it past me prior to buying. The sexual component might've been interesting if that's what I expected but it completely caught me by surprise. I might've continued on if it had only consumed a chapter or two but instead, it drags on seemingly without purpose. The characters are fairly one dimensional and predictable and that only makes it a more difficult read. Disappointing.

Who would you have cast as narrator instead of Frank Muller?

No one could have saved this book.

What reaction did this book spark in you? Anger, sadness, disappointment?

Initial boredom and eventual disgust

15 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Lower your expectations!!!

Where does Coldheart Canyon rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

It's among my top 10 favorites. It's bizarre enough to appeal to me.

Who was your favorite character and why?

Tammy. She evolved into a real person. letting go of her obsession and her no good husband.

What does Frank Muller bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

I like the way he reads, I know it's not for everyone, but he has an ironic note to his reading that fit this book to a tee.

If you could take any character from Coldheart Canyon out to dinner, who would it be and why?

Jerry. I would grill him...what was the payoff for setting this up? Would you do it again? Was it worth it?

Any additional comments?

Crazy book. Not what I expected but I grew to like it a lot. Like i say...it's fiction...not for education or enlightenment...just for fun.

9 people found this helpful

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    1 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars

It's preposterous

I am not often moved to write reviews - I don't really care what others think of things and I don't expect anyone to care what I think, but here I feel an obligation to write a word of warning to anyone hovering over the Buy Now button. Fairly early in I realized that I was tackling a book that belongs next to the Dan Browns and others of that ilk. I had, of course, heard of Clive Barker but this was my first taste of his work and to be honest I picked it from a list of books read by Frank Muller that I hadn't already heard. I can only imagine how he must have cringed while putting these words down on tape. I buy audio books to listen to in the car - so I am not interested in great works of literature that require reading and re-reading of certain passages to fully grasp - just something to pass the time while commuting. I should have returned the book for a refund as soon as I realized how absurd this book was getting but I confess I was curious to see how much worse it could get. Plenty, as it turned out. It doesn't seem to know what it is. It meanders along without satisfactorily concluding anything at all. Characters come and go with no real connection to the reader established and the conversations between the main characters are just banal - it was indeed a dark and stormy night. It feels like several bits of ideas that had nowhere to go just jammed together. The payback for the several chapters about Todd Pickett's dog at the end though is masterful. Not. Anyway, purchase this at your peril. The headline for this review came from a line in the book. When I heard that I had to agree with the writer at least on that point.

8 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Good story, terrible reader.

What would have made Coldheart Canyon better?

I couldn't finish it. I love Barker and Coldheart Canyon is among my favorites, but the reader was intolerable. Just because it is a ghost story (among other things...hard to classify Barker), the reader felt the need to try to make the slightest word broooooooooding and spooooooooky. On top of it all, the reader has a vocal pattern that was enough to drive a person to drink. Every sentence, and I mean EVERY sentence, with the exception of when he was reading dialog, trailed off into a spooky whisper. Unbelievable. I tried to stick it out as long as I could, hoping that I could stop paying attention to the reader and be able to pay attention to the story, but after about 45 minutes or an hour, I had to surrender. Clive Barker is great. Coldheart Canyon is perhaps not great, but really good. Do yourself a favor and read the book. In the name of all that is good, do not listen to this production. Seriously. I assure you that the reader really is *that* bad. Don't do it.

What did you like best about this story?

The story is creepy and takes what you would normally expect from a ghost story and, in the inimitable style of Clive Barker, takes it places you could only imagine in your most frenzied fever dream.

Who would you have cast as narrator instead of Frank Muller?

Anyone. An angry goose would have been a better choice.

You didn’t love this book... but did it have any redeeming qualities?

The story. Interesting, fantastic (in the literal sense), compelling. I was so excited to see an audio book of Coldheart Canyon. It is a shame it had to be ruined by the reader.

Any additional comments?

Narrator Frank Muller is the first narrator on my "avoid at all cost, even if you love the book he is reading" list. It truly is a shame.

6 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars

One Of The Worst Books Ever

Although I was unfamiliar with the author, I bought this book because the narrator was Frank Muller. He is a favorite of mine. I think he could read me the phone book and make it interesting. Unfortunately even Muller's considerable talent couldn't salvage this interminable drivel. Barker goes on and on and on attempting to create what he apparently thinks is scary stuff when it is just boring. His characters are uninteresting, the plot ridiculous and the pacing plodding. The dialogue is embarrassingly bad. I kept thinking, "How could anyone write this stuff and think it was any good." Perhaps he was practicing for the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest. If so, he has a great chance of winning. There were many times when I thought the book was ending only to find hours remained. Perhaps the author was being paid by the word. For those who enjoy good fantasy and science fiction, this isn't it. Save your money.

4 people found this helpful

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    4 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

A good read. Missing Frank Muller's voice.

This isn't a Book of Blood, as much as I wish there were such a book as long as this one. I love a good ghost story and this is a good one. I've never had a book read to me by Mr Muller that I didn't like. I enjoy his reading style. He has a way of using his voice to recreate a character the way you'd think they really spoke. Steven King liked him enough to read his entire Dark Tower series for Audible, but tragedy took him before he could finish the last few. Clive Barker is known for his violence, but this one is calmer. Come here for an evolving ghost story.

3 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Masterpiece

How rare it is to cry, laugh and be legitimately aroused all over the course of one narrative! What a rollercoaster and I enjoyed every minute of this peculiar Hollywood ghost story.

3 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    2 out of 5 stars

The book that never ends

What could have made this a 4 or 5-star listening experience for you?

A better plit, more believable characters and a lot less of the explict sexual stuff.

What could Clive Barker have done to make this a more enjoyable book for you?

Ended it sooner and once again tune down the orgt, references to everyone's bodyily parts.

Which scene was your favorite?

The beginning of the book. I really thought he had something there. Talking about whay actos and actresses behave

What reaction did this book spark in you? Anger, sadness, disappointment?

I would have to say revolsion

Any additional comments?

I could even get to the very end of the book. I just couldn't deal with the stupidy of the characters.

3 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

Long winded

Struggled to finish it without hitting fast forward. Good story, good characters. Just long winded.

2 people found this helpful