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Publisher's Summary

Do you know someone who is overly arrogant, shows an extreme lack of empathy, or exhibits an inflated sense of entitlement? Do they exploit others or engage in deluded thinking? These are all traits of narcissistic personality disorder, and when it comes to dealing with narcissists, it can be difficult to get your point across. So, how do you handle the narcissistic people in your life? You might interact with them in social or professional settings, and you might even love one - so ignoring them isn't really a practical solution.

Now a self-help classic, Disarming the Narcissist is a practical, step-by-step communication guide to help you cope with and confront the narcissist in your life. Based on fan feedback, this fully revised and updated third edition features new information on shame, hypersexuality, and infidelity in narcissism; legal information to help you if you are divorcing a narcissist; and the impact of narcissism on children.

With this how-to guide, you'll learn how to separate yourself from a narcissist's traps and gain the respect and validation you deserve - while side-stepping unproductive power struggles and senseless arguments with someone who is at the center of his or her own universe. Finally, you'll learn how to set limits with your narcissist and when it's time to draw the line on unacceptable behavior.

©2021 Wendy Behary (P)2021 Tantor

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What listeners say about Disarming the Narcissist (Third Edition)

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  • Overall
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    4 out of 5 stars

Makes me dislike Narcissists even more!

To start, I really struggled with listening to the narrator. The words didn't flow nicely and I had to concentrate. The sentences were broken and it felt more like a primary school lecture from a textbook.

The book is 100% correct in defining and assisting in "parenting" a narcissist, which in essence is an adult child, but at the same time by the end of the book I personally felt exhausted. I personally would rather just divorce mine then have to struggle for the rest of my life trying to force myself to "like" someone who has a terrible personality.

1 person found this helpful

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PRICELESS

This book offers a strong understanding of the origins associated with the development and treatment of narcissism. The author eloquently merges her strong expertise, lifetime career of research and treatment of narcissism to provide the reader with an extensive understanding of this frequently misunderstood and challenging population. Additionally, she educates the reader how narcissists present with varying degrees of identifiable characteristics along a spectrum of behavioral patterns providing a strong indication of the intensity/severity of narcissism experienced. This information provides strong implications regarding the anticipated degree or impact of disruption in a narcissist’s personal life as well as a powerful indication of their prognosis following intervention (generally requiring intensive therapy by a very well trained specialist in this area). The author provides a wealth of knowledge regarding narcissism and includes invaluable resources to assist the narcissist as well as those impacted by their behavior to strive for the best outcome possible!
A MUST Read! I HIGHLY recommend this book!

1 person found this helpful

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In-depth, refined, excellent.

There are critical reviews stating this book can make a situation worse by encouraging someone not to avoid a narcissist. I don’t believe that is true. This book gives great advice and knowledge about narcissistic traits and disorders. It also draws a line and gives clear instructions for how to recognize a relationship that should end.

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Speed 1.4 helps a bit

Terrible narrator makes it almost impossible to get the message. While the story itself is insightful.

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Very in-depth discussion

This very in-depth discussion on strategies to deal with narcissists in your life ultimately needs more than just one listen to try to put the techniques into practice. So far after one listen I have a good overview but feel like I'll be needing to re-listen.

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Read don't listen

The narrator was very hard to listen to, her cadence and inflection was more off than on through out the book. While a lot of content was useful I found some of the approaches to talking to "your" narcissist to be a bit passive aggressive or even shaming. I wouldn't handle any encounter with anyone that way. There are far more productive ways to set a boundary than to resort to being patronizing or shaming, it made me uncomfortable.

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Learned so much!

It was difficult listening to this because I had no idea I was married to a Covert Narcissist for 13 years. I wish I listened to this before my divorce. I may have been able to avoid much of the abuse, pain, confusion, and constant gaslighting. Please read this for your sanity!

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Best Book on the topic

I have been a mental health professional for more than 20 years and this was the best book I've read without the overly clinical terminology. I recommend this book for both the person with the narcissistic traits and the person walking on eggshells, having to deal with these difficult individuals.

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Excellent to understanding yourself and the Narc

Really brought to light the degrees of selfishness that is part of every human and how to deal with it in a compassionate way in your self and others no matter where each human person is located on the selfishness scale.