The more you listen, the more personal it gets

I am a massage therapist. I have learned over the years to listen to my clients. They tell me what they’re feeling and what they need. Then during the massage I “listen” to their bodies. The response to my touch tells me even more about what they need without saying a word.

Unfortunately, many medical professionals haven’t learned to listen to their patients. Maya Dusenbery provides extensive and sometimes heartbreaking evidence that women in pain have been ignored for years. The stories are real and the diseases are fascinating and frustrating at the same time.

I say this book gets more personal because eventually Ms. Dusenbery describes symptoms that someone we know has suffered while we stand by helpless. But she also provides hope by telling us there are doctors and researchers who believe their patients and who can advance the treatment and relieve the pain.

In addition to the content of this book I also commend the narrator, Dara Rosenberg. When a narrator makes me believe that I am listening to the author, then I am doubly impressed, by the writing and the reading.

13 people found this helpful

One of the most important books ever written

As an endometriosis patient I wish I could give a copy of this book to every doctor I have ever seen, my entire family and both my close friends and all the friends I have lost in my journey. Listening to this book was one of the most validating experiences of my life, because I was finally hearing the vast majority of research I had come across in the last ten years clearly and thoughtfully explained with objective research and patients first hand experiences Thank you Maya Dusenbery for putting together this resource, I will do my part to spreads it's message and use it to push for change in the medical community by empowering patients to demand better.

16 people found this helpful

This book is a must read.

Extremely important, well researched, reasoned, balanced and interesting book that exposes problems and limitations with modern medicines knowledge and treatment of women's health. Explores areas of medical science that need further and more rigorous research-which should be seen as challenging, important and maybe even exciting frontiers of science and medical research that would expand, build, and round out our knowledge of disease, pain, and human health. This book should be required reading for medical students.

6 people found this helpful

Driven narration of a very revealing book

Dara Rosenberg truly brings this text to life. I was struggling to read my physical copy so I starting the audible version and it made all the difference. Not only was the narration very driven, but I learned so much from this book. I am one of these women who have taken a decade to get a diagnosis, so I've had to do plenty of my own research, but there is more in this book than I ever could have known about why women go untreated and how symptoms vary between the sexes. There is something so sobering about reading the history of how women have had to claw their way to real care and realizing that, if I had been born just a few decades earlier, I would've be diagnosed with hysteria.

4 people found this helpful

Just too repetitive

While the subject matter was fascinating the book was just too repetitive and long. I feel like much of this could have been summarized and still be incredibly informative.

3 people found this helpful

I feel less alone!

Listening to this helped confirm that what I’m going through is very real and I’m not the only one being written off by doctors. This is incredibly well researched, back up by numerous facts and studies, but it’s the personal accounts that really make the book. If only this book could be read by many of the Doctors, who dismiss auto immune diseases as ‘all in our heads’.

3 people found this helpful

Powerful

Every woman should read this book. Very empowering and supportive for women’s health. Thank you.

2 people found this helpful

Incredibly informative and a must read

I have a few female friends with chronic illness that have struggled through the medical system, so I already knew that we definitely have some issues when it comes to the medical system. But holy hell it goes even deeper than I thought. This book is filled with stats and stories that show how deeply flawed our medical system is when it comes to women’s health.

The one that got me the most was her chapter on heart attacks and chest pains. I could not believe how many women get turned away IN THE MIDDLE OF A HEART ATTACK because they don’t exhibit male symptoms. Like I can’t even imagine what it would feel like to go to a doctor, get turned away, and then get told later “oh yeah, you had a heart attack earlier.” Like what the hell?!

It makes me angry how doctors and researchers are letting their egos get in the way of helping women. The fact that doctors would rather chalk it up to “hysteria” or “somatoform disorders” than actually looking into finding the cause of their pain or issue is astounding. It was interesting to hear Dusenbery talk about how few doctors will admit or even know that they’re wrong. She brings up an example where less than 1% of the doctors in this conference say they’ve ever misdiagnosed someone. It’s typically because they never find out that the person they diagnosed with a somatoform disorder rather than the real disorder never comes back. Which frankly, if it was me, I’d be busting into that doctor’s office with my diagnosed and yelling about how much he sucks lol.

It was also surprising to me how many female nurses are referenced as shaming other women. Like I guess I shouldn’t be surprised but like, support other women y’all!?! There’s one example where when a doctor gives a diagnose, the patient asks if it could be something else. The doctor says no and leaves basically. But then the female nurse is like “You shouldn’t question him. He doesn’t like that.” I would’ve been like “I don’t a f*ck what he likes.” But that’s the privilege of being a male I guess. It would never happen to me like that.

The piece on how the internet has changed the game for women was also eye opening. I’m always a fan of the internet (and yes, I know there’s some parts that aren’t great) but the fact that women could do some research online and find others like them, and finally feel like they aren’t alone is so touching. And I like that Dusenbery brings this up, but also points out that the fact is we shouldn’t need it to be this way.

I will say while the stats are important, it made it a little dry at times because of how statistic heavy it is. There were also a couple times that I felt she kept repeating the same thing. I also felt she could’ve discussed fatphobia and transphobia a little more. I know it’s the main point of the book, and I like that she’s very upfront about that in the beginning. But I think this idea of how no matter what is wrong with you, it’s going to be blamed on your weight or your trans-ness. Like even a broken arm is the example she gives. I would’ve loved to talk more about that.

But I greatly appreciate how often she talks about how the issues are impacting women of color but they are often even more stigmatized in the medical system. Such an incredibly needed discussion. Overall, I think every medical school in the country needs to make a course on bias in medicine and this book should be on the curriculum. Definitely pick it up. Also it was great on audio.

1 person found this helpful

I needed to hear this message

if you've ever been told that your very real physical symptoms are a product of depression and stress, then I highly recommend this book. it will make you angry, but it will also give you the permission you need to listen to your body and empower you to advocate for yourself.

An important read

Everyone should read this! This book is important for the medical community and every woman who's ever felt gaslighted by their doctors.