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Eight Dates  By  cover art

Eight Dates

By: John Gottman PhD,Julie Schwartz Gottman PhD,Doug Abrams,Rachel Carlton Abrams
Narrated by: James Patrick Cronin,Julie McKay
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Publisher's Summary

Navigating the challenges of long-term commitment takes effort - and it just got simpler, with this empowering, step-by-step guide to communicating about the things that matter most to you and your partner. Drawing on 40 years of research from their world-famous Love Lab, Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman invite couples on eight fun, easy, and profoundly rewarding dates, each one focused on a make-or-break issue: trust, conflict, sex, money, family, adventure, spirituality, and dreams. 

Interactive activities and prompts provide motivation to stay open, stay curious, and, most of all, stay talking to each other. And the range - from the four skills you need for intimate conversation (including Put into Words What You Are Feeling) to tips on being honest about your needs, while also validating your partner’s own emotions - will resonate, whether you’re newly together or a longtime couple looking to fortify your bond. You will discover (or rediscover) your partner like never before - and be able to realize your hopes and dreams for the love you desire and deserve. 

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio. 

©2018 John Gottman, Julie Schwartz Gottman, Doug Abrams, and Rachel Carlton Abrams (P)2019 Audible, Inc.

What listeners say about Eight Dates

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What the F. Robot-reader???!?!?!

This is complete bs. The reader is a robot?!?! Am super dissappointed. Change it now.

64 people found this helpful

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Decent date ideas

This is apparently the product of some smart, hard-working researchers who have spent an amazing amount of time studying relationships and romantic interactions in minute detail. They swear they can tell which relationships will last and which won't. The scientific formula? It depends on whether you usually speak positively or negatively about your partner. It's not hard to imagine that someone who constantly criticizes their partner is unlikely to have a happy, healthy long relationship with them. That hardly seemed to need the intense scientific scrutiny.

But surely there's more to it, more to the book than that, right?

The book itself consists of eight date ideas, each with a suggested conversation. The date ideas are fine. They'll be fun for some people, but not a good idea for others. Ok, great. That could easily be a short listicle somewhere. As for the conversations, they are each important subjects, to be sure. Do they really benefit from being matched with the date ideas? Have the authors run experiments to determine that these eight dates each lead to more successful relationships, have they run scientifically controlled experiments with different permutations to figure out the exact ingredients that make these eight dates magically work? Maybe I missed it, but I heard no such thing. It sounded rather more like the authors discussed what they felt were the most important topics for relationship partners to discuss, then made up random ideas for dates in which to discuss each of those topics.

It isn't BAD mind you. Anyone who can go on regular, physical dates with their partner and is open to new experiences and getting to know their partner better should definitely consider giving this a try. I just expected more substance and scientific backing. Again, it's listicle material. But it's still not bad, so if you like, go ahead and do it. Just be aware that you'll only truly get value out of this book if you actually have those eight conversations (or possibly, the eight full dates) with a partner, it's not just a book you can read and set aside.

37 people found this helpful

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Robot computer voice!!

I couldn’t even listen to this book because of the robot/computer sounding voice! Very disappointing.

36 people found this helpful

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Worksheets

It would be great to have access to ALL worksheets. By going to the website mentioned in the book/audio you can get some of the pdf’s, but not all.

18 people found this helpful

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Loved it

So insightful. I look forward to going on these dates and asking and answering these questions!

7 people found this helpful

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Great message, terrible narration

I have read or watched several of Gottman’s works. I find him to be an insightful and entertaining researcher and presenter. This book is chock full of great information to help a variety of couples. The narration is terrible. The male narrator is really more suited for fiction as the tone and cadence of his voice takes on a tension that is unnecessary here. The female narrator has an urgency to her voice that does not fit the content.
Overall, it’s an insightful and enjoyable relationship book. I will likely purchase a hard copy because the narration was not worth sitting through again.

5 people found this helpful

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Straightforward and informative

What I liked most about this book was the idea the authors put forth that a great love story is a never-ending conversation. This notion runs counter to the prevailing notions in our media — ones that say love is an easy, happily-ever-after tale. In reality, keeping our relationships fresh takes hard work and openness, again and again.

This book helps readers analyze all aspects of their relationships, then ask the right questions in regard to each subject. As the authors state, as long as we are willing to do the work, willing to commit and be forever curious about our partners, we will keep our love alive.

But that love cannot last if we don’t keep the conversation open. This book helps bring that message to light. It’s a quick, straightforward, and to-the-point read. I’d recommend checking it out.

-Brian Sachetta
Author of “Get Out of Your Head”

4 people found this helpful

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Fantastic

Practical information for any couple on the journey towards a triumphant marriage! Can't wait to implement what I have learned! Well done!

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Not great as an audiobook.

It includes a lot of exercises and questions to answer as a couple, so I think it's not really suitable for an audiobook.

2 people found this helpful

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Great Content, boring narrator

Emotionless reader for a very emotional and vibrant topic. Hard to engage even though the content is fascinating

1 person found this helpful

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  • Kieran Hollins
  • 10-12-20

just get the physical book

this hasn't been recorded, the audio is a text to speech generator and it sounds awful. I would advise just getting the book because nobody wants to sit through 5 hours or a robot voice

8 people found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 02-28-21

Awful automatic narration

Couldn’t get far into this because of the terrible robotic or automatic narration it really makes it hard to listen to

7 people found this helpful

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  • harry
  • 11-21-20

useful insights drowned by grandiose cheesiness

starts our well and intentions of authors are good
lose the plot by the end

3 people found this helpful

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  • Angie
  • 07-25-20

Recommended by a YouTube dating coach

Having recently met a guy via online dating I've reassociated myself with dating coaches on YT. I like this chap and want to see where it goes whilst being my best informed self. One of the coaches, Johnathan Aslay, has been recommending this book. I have valued his video content so thought I'd have a read. Glad I did. I'll use this advice. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

2 people found this helpful

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  • fcarouge
  • 02-17-22

Wonderful book, very iseful

Terrible automatic voice for some of it
Brilliant content that can save marriages or keep the happy ones in a good place

1 person found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 09-23-21

useful relationship advice and guidance

useful relationship advice and guidance

having read a number of previous books by the same authors, I found this fantastic.

genuine practical examples, and down to earth explanations of relationships.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 07-16-21

Interesting and instructive

Easy to read and a lot of material to work on. I haven't done the proposed dates yet but it already has given me a lot to think about. Good read to anyone trying to improve their relationship.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 08-17-22

Exceptional and deep introspection promoting

While we have discussed some of the topics mentioned in some form or another in my current relationship, I had never been intentional with these topics, as the book has prompted me to be and ask for, which I reflected upon and decided is needed. I have also seriously benefited from asking myself a lot of these questions and I suspect starting these dates will make it clear for us whether we can make a marriage work or not before we begin one.

Overall, highly recommended read for anyone intentional about making life partnerships work happy for all parties involved.

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  • Norbert Vincze
  • 04-09-22

Not for an audiobook

Very good practical advice for intentional conversations with our partner But not very usable as an audiobook. you would really need to have the questions at hand when preparing the date, so I definitely recommend the print version.

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 02-14-22

Content excellent but not easy to implement when listening on audible

I can see how valuable the discussions and exercises in this book are for any relationship and I imagine in hard copy it’s easy to note down/highlight what needs doing and what needs thinking about etc ahead of the 8 dates, but on audible it’s very difficult to keep track of those things as the PDF doesn’t track the chapters.

I would suggest that the best way to get value from this amazing book is to get the hard copy. But maybe that’s just me…

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  • oopsadaisy
  • 02-02-20

Can’t cope with the robot reader - horrid

So disappointed, this voice is too distracting and hard to take seriously.
Can not believe it was published like this.

15 people found this helpful

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  • Slav
  • 06-19-20

Must Read for all couples!!

This is one of the best books I have read!

I have highly recommended it to all my friends.

Thank you to the gifted, aware and mindful writers. Blessings!!

3 people found this helpful

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  • antonia
  • 03-08-20

great guide to a loving and successful relationshi

I wish I read this book in my teens so I was aware of the foundations of a relationship and how to build a loving one.
I enjoyed reading about the activities and it helped me work though some of my own inner challenges.

2 people found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 02-25-22

Helpful but Unhelpful

Narration is fine. American. Not highly animated and appropriate fwiw.

The advise given herein is absolutely correct and beneficial from a Conscious perspective, giving the reader the tools of intentional and unconditional positive regard for our Self and Others. Eg non judgementally.

The area that needs at least another lengthy chapter is understanding Subconscious physical triggers and how to overcome them.

Triggers are perceptions stored in our subconscious AND throughout our body. Mostly formed when we were incapable of reasoning independently, at a proverbial age thru age @ 25. Thus, our psyke imprints emotional responses of Others.

As triggers do arise every day in everyone, it is critical to our physical and mental health to be friendly with them. Not keep our Self prisoner.
Sharing our feeling allows us to actually let it go.
The sympathetic ear is a parasympathetic response within the Other.

As Jung stated best,
"to the degree we deny the Other, we deny the Other the right to exist within our selves.

Which is spot on, the root of our suffering. We imprison and repress our feelings and suppress them in Others.

On that note, I leave you with a few urgent reads from various Brilliant perspectives in no particular order that will enhance appreciation of this Gottman read, that will obviously lead inward. The Way thru which we ALL grow.

Power vs Force
The Precense Process
Non Violent Communication
When Things Fall Apart
When Sorry is NOT Enough

Best wishes to all 🙏🍀🙂

1 person found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 09-06-21

great book but the narration is terrible

great book I recommend buying the paperback instead as the narration on this sounds too robotic

1 person found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 03-05-22

Game changer

What wonderful insight into how our past has chapped our views and such a wonderful way to build a solid foundation. Can't wait to put it to the test.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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  • Anonymous User
  • 02-03-20

loved it!

Very good for any stage of love you are currently in. I'll listen to this one again as there is so much in it.