• Everything Is Perfect When You're a Liar

  • By: Kelly Oxford
  • Narrated by: Kelly Oxford
  • Length: 8 hrs and 38 mins
  • 3.8 out of 5 stars (203 ratings)

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Everything Is Perfect When You're a Liar  By  cover art

Everything Is Perfect When You're a Liar

By: Kelly Oxford
Narrated by: Kelly Oxford
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Publisher's Summary

Kelly Oxford is.... 

A wunderkind producer of pirated stage productions for six-year-olds 

Not the queen of the world 

An underage schnitzel-house dishwasher 

The kid who stood up to a bully and almost passed out from the resulting adrenaline rush 

A born salesman 

Capable of willing her eyesight to be 20/20 

That girl who peed her pants in the gas station that one time 

Totally an expert on strep throat 

Incapable of making Leonardo DiCaprio her boyfriend 

A writer 

A certified therapy assistant who heals with Metallica mixtapes 

"Not fat enough to be super snuggly." (Bea, age four) 

Not above using raspberry-studded sh*t to get out of a speeding ticket 

"Bitingly funny. But everybody knows that." (Roger Ebert) 

Sad that David Copperfield doesn't own a falcon 

A terrible liar

©2013 Kelly Oxford (P)2013 HarperCollins Publishers

What listeners say about Everything Is Perfect When You're a Liar

Average Customer Ratings
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  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    1 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars

Couldn't finish it

When I picked out this book I hadn't heard of the author. Now i know that she is Twitter-famous for being funny, so if I was familiar with her in that way my take on this book might have been different. The writing itself is good, but I didn't find it funny--nor did I find Kelly Oxford likeable. I think it comes down to her sharing anecdotes from her life that are completely self-centered depictions of herself. Without having the context of those moments where she might show that she cares about others, her common phrase throughout the book, "I am an asshole," rings true. I just couldn't listen to an asshole talk about herself anymore.

11 people found this helpful

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    2 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars
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Why did I listen to the whole thing

I hate to be mean but this was not very good at all. I wanted to turn it off many times but kept hoping it would get better. Her stories are boring and I did not laugh once ever.

She smoked a lot, I mean a lot of pot as a teenager and into her 20's was basically lazy and worries at every turn that she will get AIDS or some kind of disease making her sound completely un educated. Or maybe I just don't get her humor.

I should have knows from the get go that is was not going to be funny when she conversers with her young children on what to write in the introduction of the book and her 8 year old says "your book how I molest your mother". Um can someone tell me what is funny about that?

Overall boring, I cannot recommend this book.

9 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Absorbing humorous memoir

I was just wishing for a new humorous memoir à la Bossypants or Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me, so I was thrilled to spend an audible credit on Oxford’s book. Oxford’s unfiltered sense of humor is entertaining to listen to and she’s gained a new twitter follower in me. She talks about growing up and working odd jobs and her adventures in parenting, so it’s all very relatable.

Kelly Oxford is from Canada and the book chronicles her life growing up in Calgary, before starting a family and later moving to Los Angeles. The book starts out with Oxford at age six, going through hoops to try to cast a stage adaptation of Star Wars. She later goes on a wild trip to Los Angeles to try to meet Leonardo DiCaprio and be his girlfriend before Titanic makes him a superstar. She also talks about peeing at a gas station while waiting in line to buy cigarettes, and her weekend trip to Vegas hosted by magician David Copperfield. Oxford is brutally honest in her observations and a fearless sharer of embarrassing moments.

Oxford is a good storyteller and I found all the essay’s absorbing. She does find the humor in everyday life, and even when she’s discussing a serious topic she gives it a light touch in keeping with the tone of the book. For instance, she talks about the worry that her husband will die and she won’t have a job to support herself, so she takes a job at a nursing home. Oxford actually had a few interesting jobs before doing the writing thing, like washing dishes at a German restaurant at age 12. My favorite stories were the Vegas trip and the family’s trip to Disneyland, but they all are pretty amusing.

Kelly Oxford reads the audiobook herself, something I always appreciate with memoirs. Who better than the author to read her own stories, right? Oxford speaks clearly and reads with an easy, conversational manner. I did speed up the narration a tad (to 1.25x) with the audible app, and that was just perfect for me. Oxford brings her stories to life with her reading and this is an audiobook I didn’t want to stop listening to.

If you like humorous memoirs like those by Tina Fey, Jenny Lawson, or Mindy Kaling I think you’ll eat up this book. I hope there’s a part two someday.

5 people found this helpful

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    3 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

Enjoyable but not so relatable for me

Would you say that listening to this book was time well-spent? Why or why not?

I don't regret listening to it, but I don't think I'll listen to it again. And I probably wouldn't buy any more books by her. Now, this is not because I think she is a bad writer, but because I had a hard time relating to her because her personality is so different than mine.

Would you be willing to try another book from Kelly Oxford? Why or why not?

Probably not. I thought most of the stories were entertaining, but I just couldn't relate to her life. I also felt that some of the stories were a little petty, but that's just me. Perhaps I'm just more of a Tina Fey type person.

What about Kelly Oxford’s performance did you like?

I enjoyed her story about working as a physical therapist. I think that story really showed a genuine side of her that I wanted to hear more about. That's not true, I felt the whole book was genuine, but that story was one that I felt connected to her over.

Was Everything Is Perfect When You're a Liar worth the listening time?

I'd say so. I'm not in love with the book, but I don't regret listening to it.

Any additional comments?

I think that women who are adventurous and free-spirited would like this book. Women who identify with Tina Fey or Mindy Kaling might have a harder time connecting to Kelly Oxford's work.

3 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
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I'd be a liar if I said it was funny

What would have made Everything Is Perfect When You're a Liar better?

If the content was funny.

What did you like about the performance? What did you dislike?

Kelly has a great voice - very easy to listen to.

Any additional comments?

I really wanted to love and laugh at this audiobook - but I barely smiled. To be fair, the bar was set pretty high after listening to Tina Fey's "bossy pants". So that might have something to do with my disappointment. I really like Kelly's tweets -- but for a book, she needs more compelling content, and/or more interesting and humorous ways to package it.

2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Great stories well told; author/narrator perfect!

What about Kelly Oxford’s performance did you like?

Oxford has a pleasing, engaged, clear voice that strikes an agreeable, conversational tone.

Any additional comments?

When you listen to her first story, “Queen of the World or Something,” you’ll know you’re going to be well treated by this wonderful storyteller. Oxford’s episodic recollections of her life from elementary school through motherhood read like rich, often messy, sometimes unflattering, and always honest experiences which she has been able to craft into glittering jewels. Yes, there are plenty of laugh-out-loud moments along the way. What most surprised me, though, is the sense of depth lurking just below the surface of the witty, engaging anecdotes. Oxford subtly invites the reader to learn – or share what she learned – from her remarkable experiences. Personal favorite: “My Zoo.” There are no duds.

2 people found this helpful

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    1 out of 5 stars
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Horrible Ramblings of Soulless Brainless Teenager

Oh my. What a waste of money. There is no amount of boredom that would benefit from the silly crap stories from a teenager. ARgh. If you had to listen to the whole thing, it could kill you. What simplistic language full of obscenities trying to spice up or startle an audience that no doubt has stopped listening. I kept thinking about other reviews that said this was funny. "the funny stuff must be coming up soon," I consoled myself. But I can't wait anymore for it. Looking at a tiny piece of tree bark would be so much more exciting and rewarding. Angry I wasted money on this. But at least I didn't waste more time.

1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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So relatable

I love listening to Kelly hop around different stories from her life. She’s got a humor in her self-reflection that’s rare.

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Looking forward to her next book

If you have a sense of humor, then you will live this book.

In officially a fan of Kelly Oxford!

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

Entertaining

Her story overall is entertaining, she pretty much discusses different stories of her life, from being a kid to a teen and a 17 year old to then a mother of 3. The most entertaining are when shes a teen. Some might like the others but those were the ones i enjoyed. If ur the kind of person that doesnt find humor in stories about getting high with drugs or sex or anything with "bad" language then u will not like this book.