A Gripping Masterpiece

This is one of the most intelligent, expansive, and interesting books I have ever listened to - but it is not for everyone. It is very long and some of the topics are distressing, but gripping. I have no children special or otherwise, but I am a retired special ed teacher and have always wondered how people dealt with having a disabled child.

Mr. Solomon does not "talk down" to the reader. He expects his reader to be well-educated and with a good vocabulary. His Ivy League education, intelligence and literacy infuse each page. I'm so glad Mr. Solomon narrated his own book. His voice is a little hard to get used to, but I grew to love the sound of it - and grew to love him as well. Only he could inflect the voices of the people he interviewed. I'm glad I took the time to listen to it instead of reading it. Hearing it made the book great to me. I don't think I would have enjoyed it nearly as much if I had read it. Listening forces you to slow down and hear each word. I am a very fast reader and miss a lot of detail and beauty of language - listening to books has opened up a new world of literature for me, and this non-fiction book is written so beautifully that I'm glad I heard every word.

If you are interested in this subject, have the time to sink yourself deeply into a fascinating new world, I highly recommend this beautiful book.

53 people found this helpful

A peek into deeply challenged lives

If you could sum up Far from the Tree in three words, what would they be?

Eye-opening, poignant, triumphant

What was one of the most memorable moments of Far from the Tree?

The forgiveness of a healthcare worker by parents whose MDS child who died because of a random careless act.

How could the performance have been better?

I believe a different narrator, not the author but a professional actor would elevate the experience of listening.

Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

The question of correcting 'flaws' of nature in lieu of accepting a creature as created by God and by genetics, etc. creates a paradox with mixed feelings and a sense of knowing that either choice can be right or wrong but inevitably is irrevocable.

Any additional comments?

For parents and future parents because you never know if you will be a subject of such a book.

20 people found this helpful

OPENED MENTAL DOORS I DIDNT KNOW WHERE THERE

This is the kind of book I search for. This book is TRULY remarkable. This book not only stretched my humanity, it opened a whole new vista. The biggest mistake you can make is to think that this book isn't for you, this book is for everyone and anyone who wants to enrich their experience of being alive.

The authors ability to articulate these stories ( including his own) with such honesty, depth and sensitivity are one thing. His stunning prowess really comes through when he extrapolates the wisdom within them and conveys these multifaceted insights with such remarkable clarity - It took my breath away! Wow this guy can write!

It's often a mistake for authors to narrate their own work- but not here. I think he did a really fine job of it and considering the intimacy of the work and the way he bares his soul, it seems almost necessary that he should do the narration.

Solomon wrote a book before this one on depression called THE NOONDAY DEMON-AN ATLAS OF DEPRESSION. it won the national book award in 2002 , Unfortunately its only available as abridged on audible at the moment -though I understand its 570pgs in its uncut form which may make its abridged form more accessible for some and not a bad option.

Im definitely going to be watching for more from Andrew Solomon, His combination of talents are rare and desperately needed in our time. HIGHEST RECOMMENDATION

18 people found this helpful

Stunned!

I don't know how I am going to go on to my next book. Andrew Solomon's voice, physically and emotionally, has found its way into my soul. If you are reading this review, you know what this book is about (is it dry, you ask?), you know it is very, very long and that some people have said that his narration is flawed.

The book has more than research; it weaves research with case studies that makes the research live and breathe and stay with you far longer than you can imagine (I usually read fiction!). It is very, very long, but I slowed the listening of it down at the very end because I couldn't bear not to be listening to these stories of profound courage. I relished its length.

And Andrew's voice (I am calling him Andrew because he shared his story with me) brings you carefully and warmly into these people's lives while delineating his comprehensive but not boring research. He doesn't compare to Colin Firth but who's comparing? It doesn't matter because once you get the cadence down, he is telling you a startling story and he will capture you. AND he is a beautiful writer.

I am grateful to have been able to listen to this book.

35 people found this helpful

Thought-provoking, challenging work.

Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

I would absolutely recommend this book. Solomon has crafted a book that is astonishing in its scope, brilliant in its observations, and compassionate with its intensely personal material.

What did you like best about this story?

The depth of the research and the gentle and compassionate way that Solomon treats his subjects brings an incredible intimacy to each of his topics - deafness, down syndrome, autism, dwarfism, multiple severe disabilities, rape, crime - allowing the listener insight into issues and worlds of horizontal identities that might forever be out of sight to those not touched personally by the issues. His overarching thesis brings the threads of difference and disability together in a way that deeply affects the listener/reader.

Which character – as performed by Andrew Solomon – was your favorite?

n/a

Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

As the mother of a child on the autism spectrum, his discussion of autism was closest to my heart. However, it was in his discussion of the ways in which parenthood and children's identity create complex emotional issues that parents must navigate that I found profoundly moving.

Any additional comments?

In my opinion, anyone affected by any of the differences or disabilities he discusses would find this book deeply moving. However, it is also my opinion that any parent, or in fact anyone at all, would come away from this work with new perspectives on compassion, understanding, and the nature of identity. For this reason, I think everyone who reads or listens to this work will come away a better person.

9 people found this helpful

Worldview Shift

What made the experience of listening to Far from the Tree the most enjoyable?

Recieving a new, different perspective on human diversity.

What didn’t you like about Andrew Solomon’s performance?

At first I actually thought is was a robot reader. He is flat, choppy, and sounds like a synthetic voice. I've heard him give interviews and he was vibrant and engaged; however, not so in the reading. I acatually considered not listening, but the content is worth putting up with the performance.

Hire a professional performer so the reading is as good as the content.

What’s an idea from the book that you will remember?

Growth occurs through connecting with all that is possible within any human.

Any additional comments?

A book that will change lives.

8 people found this helpful

Moving study of identity and unconditional love

This was a very long book with great emotional impact. It is very heartfelt and sincere and one of the most moving books I have read. I usually am wary of authors who read their own books, but the emotion of the author adds meaning to this text and is an important part of the experience. The book is a very personal exploration of the experience of parenthood of children who fall 'far from the tree'. The author interviews hundreds of families, focusing on parents with children who are 'different'. Most are children who are different from 'typical' society as well as different from their parents. The author refers to the identity shared with others not of the family as 'horizontal' identity. This is distinguished from a 'vertical' identity from family membership (i.e. father down to son). However the book also studies the issue of parents who purposefully or incidentally conceive children who share their horizontal identity. The issues the book raises are complex, emotional, and sometimes challenging and frustrating (not in terms of comprehension but rather in terms of experiencing emotionally difficult subject matter and politically/philosophically/religiously sensitive views). The book explores the limits of human morality and human dignity. The author concludes that the ability to sustain a horizontal identity with the love and support of parents and family is critical to a happy life for people whose lives are considered 'not typical' and that the ability to accept and embrace these horizontal identities -especially when it is foreign to us- is part of what 'love' requires.

I cannot say it is the 'best' book I ever read, or even the best I have read recently, but it is one of the most meaningful ones due to the weight of its subject. It's about identity, parental love, loss, fulfillment, disability, eugenics, abortion - pretty weighty stuff. What is wonderful about this book is that it presents the reader with the situation that initially faced the unwary parents and then pushes you to look at the situation from different perspectives. It discusses the implications of actions that are very emotional and asks you - or maybe forces you to examine the logical or illogical conclusions of your own beliefs and prejudices and those of the parents involved. It asks you to consider what you take for granted and what you are willing to reconsider in light of what you hear.

The book stemmed from the author's own experience of growing up gay with parents who initially rejected that identity in their son. He seems to have suffered his own homophobia as a result even after he grew comfortable as an adult with a gay identity. Thus, the question of identity and parental love is central to his quest to understand the many identities of the people in the different groups he studies - deaf children, those with autism, Downs Syndrome children, criminal children, schizophrenics, etc. Sometimes the book bogs down with all the different identities and examples, but it is always valuable and sincere and the multiplicity of examples helps to illuminate different aspects of the issues.

The book ends with a discussion of the author's own decision to become a parent. It's thus a very personal book as well as a study of parents and children with 'horizontal identities'. It is very focused on parental love and unconditional love and the nature of acceptance. Although I highly recommend the book, I think those who find it most satisfying will be those with some connection to people with horizontal identities or readers with very open minds willing to ask themselves questions that don't always have easy or evident answers.

14 people found this helpful

A Must Read for Parents and Educators

Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

Yes - this book is celebrates the differences in all of us while depicting the joys and sorrows of having children who create a new normal.

What did you like best about this story?

The mix of personal stories with research about every topic he writes about made this book flow. Many of the personal stories were heartbreaking or made you cringe. Then he would detail the research about the particular topic - then another story. Fantastic.

What does Andrew Solomon bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

This book is 40 hours of listening. Reading through this book would have required an enormous amount of 'sitting' time. Listening allows the 'reader' to work out, cook, clean, do laundry, etc and makes each activity more enjoyable.

Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

Yes it made me laugh and cry at various times.

Any additional comments?

Thank you

5 people found this helpful

Fascinating

This is a quiet listen for those interested in the psychology of atypical parent-child relationships. It won't grip you, it won't suck you in, but you can pick up and listen at any point and get into it, which is unusual for an audiobook. I learned a lot about people with disabilities from this book, and have gained an appreciation for the exceptional circumstances depicted herein.

4 people found this helpful

You must read this book

It seemed to take me forever to read this audiobook because I kept re-reading what I had just heard. The honesty and respect for individuality is unique. Although the book is dense with research and background references, it is as readable as fiction.
At the end of each Chapter, I had to put it down to reflect on what I had just read. This book is as much about adult children and identity as it is about parenting.
I began telling friends, "You must read this book" by the end of the first section and my enthusiasm increased the more I read. I learned something even in the sections where I felt some familiarity with the subject.
Sections I considered skipping because they seemed irrelevant to me turned out to be the most thought provoking.
The people Solomon interviewed offer such a wide range of personal opinions; it was clear that Solomon can balance widely different conclusions and have them all be true.

4 people found this helpful