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Fashionably Dead  By  cover art

Fashionably Dead

By: Robyn Peterman
Narrated by: Jessica Almasy
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Publisher's Summary

Vampyres don't exist. They absolutely do not exist. At least I didn't think they did 'til I tried to quit smoking and ended up Undead. Who in the hell did I screw over in a former life that my getting healthy equates with dead? Now I'm a Vampyre. Yes, we exist whether we want to or not. However, I have to admit, the perks aren't bad. My girls no longer jiggle, my ass is higher than a kite, and the latest Prada keeps finding its way to my wardrobe. On the downside, I'm stuck with an obscenely profane Guardian Angel who looks like Oprah and a Fairy Fighting Coach who's teaching me to annihilate like the Terminator. To complicate matters, my libido has increased to Vampyric proportions, and my attraction to a hotter-than-Satan's-underpants killer rogue Vampyre is not only dangerous...it's possibly deadly. For real dead.

Permanent death isn't on my agenda. Avoiding him is my only option. Of course, since he thinks I'm his, it's easier said than done. Like that's not enough to deal with, all the other Vampyres think I'm some sort of Chosen One. Holy hell, if I'm in charge of saving an entire race of blood suckers, the Undead are in for one hell of a ride.

©2014 Robyn Peterman (P)2016 Audible, Inc.

What listeners say about Fashionably Dead

Average Customer Ratings
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    2 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars

Porn

Would you recommend this book to a friend? Why or why not?

I'm no prude but this book had more sex scenes than story line. The story line is a good one but when there's 50% sex scenes to story, it gets tedious. I finished it, there is a cliff hanger but I won't be getting the next book. If I want to listened to 'kiss me there', 'touch me here', 'oooo, you're so big, will you fit', I'd.... No, I wouldn't because I don't don't want to listen to porn.

Would you ever listen to anything by Robyn Peterman again?

No.

Which scene was your favorite?

The ending

If this book were a movie would you go see it?

No

Any additional comments?

Why did I finish it? I cannot leave any book unread once I start it. Painful as it may be, I have to finish it. My first review. Had to do it to warn others who can do without this much sexual content to waste a credit like I did. Or, if that's to your liking, go for it. Cut the gratuitous sexual content and you would hear a good, not fantastic, story.

32 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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Ridiculously Funny!

This was a ridiculously funny story, with so many parodies, like the foul mouth Angel named Ophra, a vampire named Paris Hilton, a fairy who acted like the Terminator but had questionable fashion sense, and other well know characters.

After Astrid is turned into a vampire, she receives training from her "guardian" angel and the bu-- kicking fairy and with all this divine intervention, she soon becomes one of the most powerful vampires. But when she meets Ethan, WOW the sparks fly! He was hot, sexy, charming and the attractions between them was instant and steamy.

I had fun listening to this story, it reminded of a good parody movie and had me laughing out loud. The attraction between Ethan and Astrid was steamy but funny as well.

Jessica Almasy performance was awesome and I thought she did a great job portraying Astrid's personality. Each character had their own voice, and she used the right amount of inflection throughout the story. Astrid and Ethan were my favorite characters.

The story does end on a cliffhanger but I didn't mind because I had already planned on getting book 2.

22 people found this helpful

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Hilarious Vampire tale

I first heard about Robyn Peterman’s books from a recommendation on Molly Harper’s facebook page. Robyn’s work sounded like something I would enjoy but she didn’t have any books available in Audio format. Until now!

Astrid is a chain smoking, Prada loving, 20 something year old woman who teaches art classes at the senior center. After her beloved nana dies she makes a bet with her bestie that she can quit smoking. She feels like she’s tried everything and it isn’t working so she decides to see if hypnotism will work. Without spoiling the details of how it happens, she wakes up as a vampire. Astrid has a quirky guardian angel who has a bad potty mouth, a fairy who trains her how to fight and a best friend that sticks with her through anything and isn’t freaked out by all the supernatural beings that show up.

After meeting other vampires that Astrid likes, she decides to join them and pledge allegiance to their vampire prince. While waiting for the ceremony to start, she runs in to a vampire that she distrusts but has serious attraction to.

When I started this book, I really didn’t think I was going to like it. For some reason, it didn’t grab my attention in the very beginning, I think it was all of the mention of smoking and the Prada, but it didn’t take long for me to be completely hooked. This is a funny story with a lot of entertaining characters and there are plenty of laugh out loud moments. I love the chemistry between Ethan and Astrid. Even before finishing the book, I knew I’d read the next book.

There is an event at the end of the book that is an opening for the next book, but it doesn’t feel like a typical cliff hanger to me. It doesn’t leave you disappointed or frustrated, just curious about what comes next.

19 people found this helpful

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Didn't enjoy

Now, I'm only basing this on the four chapters I listened to, but I did not enjoy the narrator's tone. She may be an awesome narrator, following a director's instructions, but I didn't enjoy it.

11 people found this helpful

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Bad language!

What did you like best about Fashionably Dead? What did you like least?

Juvenile writing. Lots of swearing. Only listened about 20 minutes hoping it would get better. Not so.

Do you think Fashionably Dead needs a follow-up book? Why or why not?

No

Any additional comments?

There should be a warning in description if there is a lot of swearing in a book you are thinking of buying.

10 people found this helpful

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Paranormal humor and romanc too...

This book is a paranormal romance, but it is also filled with humor from beginning to end and plenty of hot steamy sex to go with it..With characters such as Brad Pitt,Angelina Jolie and Oprah (not the real people, but same names), this book keeps us laughing while exploring the world of the undead, Vampires vs demons, this book is highly entertaining and addictive, Most importantly, it is fun! I loved the little baby monsters, that called Astrid mommy. The author, Robyn Peterman hit a home run on this book. The narrator, Jessica Almasy did a fantastic job on the delivery of this story, Her voices are unique and explosive. I loved the voice and behavior of the character Pam! I look forward to book 2! Well done.

I received this audio book as a gift so I could read / listen to it and leave a honest and unbiased review,

8 people found this helpful

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What a fun ride!

Robyn Peterman's book is a cross between Jim Butcher's Harry Dresden, Maryjanice Davidson's Queen Betsy books (the early ones, before they got dark), and Charlaine Harris's Sookie Stackhouse books (not True Blood which had little humor in them compared to the books). Throw in Rick Gualtieri's foul mouthed Tome Of Bill and you have a fast-paced, totally engrossing, delightful paranormal romance/adventure. Toss in a ton of steamy sex and fascinating characters and you have a beach read that will make you forget to go to work! Narrator Jessica Almasy is perfection, enhancing this already engaging book. Loved it!

7 people found this helpful

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Amazeballs

What did you love best about Fashionably Dead?

If you enjoy audio books and snarky love stories with tons a paranormoral this is one you dont' want to miss

What did you like best about this story?

How so many funny elements are in the story along with a good story

What does Jessica Almasy bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

She does an amazing job with all the different people. Loved how she did the voices and brought them to life or (dead lol)

Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

yes it was I hated when I had to stop listening

Any additional comments?

Adore this series knew it would be awesome in audio

6 people found this helpful

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prada blablabla sex sex sex.

F.......ING bimbo vampyr sex sex sex story.

Prada, sex and blod. There you have the story.

5 people found this helpful

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IT'S BUTTCRACKING HILARIOUS!!!

I swear, you're gonna pee in your pants from laughter! Who'd of thought of a foul mouthed Guardian Angel that looks like Oprah that'll make you blush beet red? Or the Terminating faerie that wears tiny speedos? Robyn Peterman that's who.

From beginning to end you'll laugh out loud. I couldn't put it down! Well developed characters and the plot line is deliciously clever. I loved every scrumptious bit of it. In fact, I devoured it and can't wait to start the next.

Jessica Almasy's risible interpretation of characters is resplendently hilarious! Especially, our Prada lovin', wise cracking, a** whooping adorable vamp, Astrid. Her rich and colorful voice transcends your imagination.

I highly recommend this audiobook. It's hot, steamy, mouth wateringly delicious that's the perfect appetizer. I'm sure, the best is yet to come. I can't wait! ( Literally, I can't. I just purchased the next book, Fashionably Dead Down Under. Yay!)

5 people found this helpful

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  • Ratgirl65
  • 03-27-16

Car Crash literature

What could have made this a 4 or 5-star listening experience for you?

A good story with great characters but ruined by awful dialog. Written by a 12 year old is my best guess. Nobody ....screams about being a Prada Whore every 4th page. I think the writer was trying to make it fun & zany but failed. If you take out the lazy writing ...lots of recycled dialog....I admit that minding blowing orgasms would rob your ablity to think but this girl 'sees Jesus' every other time!.....the story would be great. Some interesting concepts, some good relationships but totally & utterly ruined by stupid conversations.

Has Fashionably Dead put you off other books in this genre?

This is a book that probably translates better on a written page than in an audio book. My advice ....stick to the book.

What three words best describe Jessica Almasy’s voice?

A valiant attempt but really the baby voices were just awful

Any additional comments?

I called this car crash literature because it has the same effects. It sucks you in & then you have to listen to the end & even worse you then buy the next in the series. It isn't a bad story but the editor needs slapping for not sorting out the lazy recyling of dialog & the stupidity of the conversations. If you are a fan of good fantasy : Jeaniene Frost, Molly Harper , Karen Chance do NOT read this as it will sadly disappoint. If you are bored, have lots of disposable income & are stuck in hospital.....there is worse.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Ian Smith
  • 03-23-22

Too many ideas jumbled up, cliffhanger ending

On the plus side, enough good ideas for several shorter books.
But...
Too many ideas in one book make it a mess. Is it a paranormal erotic romance? A paranormal thriller? Or a thriller with tongue-in-cheek humour? Sadly, the result of merging the three doesn't really work well.
Ridiculously repetitive, repeatedly overblown language, a few brief slips from first person to third person, and some significant things slipped in but not remarked upon. The narrative timeline, especially in fast-moving scenes, is all over the place, leaving characters apparently stood around watching things they could easily stop.
And after 12 hours and 13 minutes, I find out it's got a cliffhanger ending. I hate cliffhanger endings, and one after 12 hours is ridiculous.

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 05-25-21

Hot Dam!

Absolutely loved this book! Loved it in print and narration. It's witty, smart and laugh out loud funny. There are some raunchy bits but, hell, why not! This book has brightened my year.

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    2 out of 5 stars
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  • Mrs S
  • 05-19-19

ruined by the narrator

loved the book so thought give the audio a go considering the number of 5 star reviews posted. maybe the narrators voice is more suited to USA audiences ; I found her voice whiny, grating and rushed. she sounded like a petulant spoiled young adult, not a woman in her 20s.not a good experience. so disappointed .

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    4 out of 5 stars
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  • Elizabeth White
  • 06-18-18

Fantastic series

Having read this book on my kindle I was really looking forward to just sitting back and listening to one of my favourite authors. I knew the story was funny, so I expected to laugh out loud at quite a few places in the tale, but I ended up laughing so loud I woke my poor hubby from his slumber. I have a really loud laugh so I was thankful I decided not to listen to it while on holiday or the folks by the pool would be calling for the men in white coats for the crazy lady laughing insanely on her sunbed! Anyway, I digress, this tale is so much worth listening to but, unfortunately, I took a dislike to the voice of the narrator. For sone reason I didn't think her voice was young enough to be Astrid and although she did a really good job of the story and all the voices I still felt a bit let down. It did not stop my laughter, but it did distract me somewhat at times.

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  • Kindle Customer
  • 07-09-17

Excellent and funny

This book has a bit of everything in it would highly recommend. If your looking for a romantic paranormal comedy this book is definitely you.

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  • gayle
  • 06-23-17

loved it!

great fun to listen too. Fab story. Have listened multiple times but still enjoy it.

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    5 out of 5 stars
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  • Moooo
  • 01-06-17

So glad I tried.

What made the experience of listening to Fashionably Dead the most enjoyable?

Pam. The Kev. The sarcasm, the warmth, the twists.

What was one of the most memorable moments of Fashionably Dead?

All the language Pam and Kev came up with and varied characters voices.

Have you listened to any of Jessica Almasy’s other performances? How does this one compare?

No, but I will be.

Did you have an emotional reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

Yes- laughed and laughed. 'The Kev', and Pam are characters I adored.

Any additional comments?

The story line is very original, with interesting characters and a wonderful array of voices by a very talented speaker, who bought everyone to life. Loved it- off to get Part two.

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  • Sammy
  • 10-02-16

brilliant laugh out loud book.

brilliant laugh out loud book. really made me chuckle. easy and fun to follow. looking forward to the next

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    5 out of 5 stars
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  • oliver
  • 04-25-16

Hated the first 2 hours but then could not stop

Stared book and hated it but then I became invested in the story line and could not put it down

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  • Genevieve
  • 10-06-16

Too crass and loud for me

What would have made Fashionably Dead better?

Even for a vampire story, I found it a little over the top, bit too crass and loud for my taste. I prefer more sass and snark like the Molly Harper books.

What will your next listen be?

Back to some police procedurals.

Who might you have cast as narrator instead of Jessica Almasy?

Not sure but I found her reading of some characters a little too over the top

Any additional comments?

No doubt would appeal to some but just not my cup of tea.

1 person found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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  • CassiH
  • 07-22-20

Great story.

Loved this story. I became quite invested in the characters and their lives. Left me wanting more. I need to find out what happens next in the characters lives. Can’t wait til I get to the next instalment.

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  • jennine.
  • 10-05-18

Captivating!

l loved the narrator's voice and she read it perfectly, one of the best l've ever listened to!
The story was captivating and had me totally enthralled, right to the very end. l am hoping there is a follow on book because l want to know what happens in hell. Recommended read🤓

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  • Imee-B
  • 07-23-18

***Hilarious***

I never laugh so hard in my life, Fashionably Dead is the funniest, wittiest book I have ever listened to and that's telling something because I am a book addict lol.
I love Astrid our feisty, foul mouthed and loves Prada more than food Haha. She is very loveable and a kick ass being turned into a vampire while undergoing a hypnosis to quit smoking and she woke up dead lol. That's the beginning of her adventure so if you like witty, smart dialogue and an angel who look like oprah and a fairy who look like an action star who has a fashion sense of a well not sure lol you will love this book. Its freaking amazing. And the narrative is excellent I love Jessica Almasy she plays the female voices magnificently.

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  • K
  • 12-28-16

Exciting paranormal adventure

Fun wit brings to life characters in a story with many unpredictable twists and turns. The dark side of this well told story is softened by humour creating a very enjoyable listen.