• Feel My Pain

  • M/M Revenge Romance
  • By: K.A. Merikan
  • Narrated by: Kirt Graves
  • Length: 11 hrs and 26 mins
  • 4.6 out of 5 stars (161 ratings)

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Feel My Pain

By: K.A. Merikan
Narrated by: Kirt Graves
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Publisher's Summary

Two enemies cursed to feel each other’s pain.

Zane: “I will burn your life to the ground.”

Roach: “I’m a cockroach. I’ll survive.”

Two years ago, the Rabid Hyenas MC ripped Zane apart like a pack of starving wolves. But he’s not only a survivor, he took revenge that same night. Turns out, one of the bikers is still alive, and as long as that’s the case, Zane will not know peace. Especially since Roach is the dirtbag who caused all the mayhem in the first place.

When an act of revenge meant to close that chapter of Zane’s life takes a shocking turn, all hell breaks loose. Roach’s pain is his. When Roach bleeds, he does. When Zane suffers, Roach screams. So, until Zane can figure out how to lift the curse and kill Roach, he’s stuck caring for the dumbass who drinks too much, works like a dog, and hasn’t moved on an inch since he lost his motorcycle club.

But Roach has other plans for the man twisting his miserable life around. For him, Zane is hope, lust, and love combined, so Roach will gladly stay bound to him forever. Even if it kills them. 

Dirty, dark, and delicious, Feel My Pain is a gritty M/M dark romance novel with magical elements and a happy ending. Prepare for violence, intense jealousy, and scorching hot, emotional, explicit scenes.

Warning: This story contains scenes of violence, offensive language, and morally ambiguous characters, as well as sensitive topics of child abuse, addiction, and suicide.

©2020 K.A. Merikan (P)2020 K.A. Merikan
  • Unabridged Audiobook
  • Categories: LGBTQ+

What listeners say about Feel My Pain

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

OMG WTF OMG WTF

5 Blue Roses
5 Blue Flames

Narrator Kirt Graves rocked this performance exactly like falling asleep on the back of a motorcycle. His unique monotonous cadence had me continually wondering whether I am going lose interest and fall asleep, but before my mind started to drift off into nothingness I am jerked wide awake asking WTF’s and exclaiming OMG’s. This cycle happened continuously every 30 – 40 minutes, creating a feeling of riding your Harley on top of a roller coaster track. Best ride ever! Only Kirt can pull it off, this is an art he mastered. Please don’t try to copy him… Monotonous and KA Merikan is not supposed to gel, but they do!

This shit was sick. It sucked me in, and let Kirt chew on my nerves for a while. Then spit me out as one big depressing ball of emotions. This audiobook had some nasty, sexy, erotic M/M scenes. Best to sit on an ice pack while on your Harley doing the looping star! The best is the plot had paranormal elements that were intrinsically woven with nervewracking emotions like horror, pain, happiness, sadness, cruelty, violence, tension, and overall equivocation. I was unable to predict the whole thing. The enemies to lovers’ trope were very enjoyable. It’s crazy dark and twisted love. Zane kept saying and believing he will kill Roach and Roach is so in love with Zane, he will lie down and knife himself from ear to ear.

Not going to say more, not going to spoil it for you! I absolutely. recommend this and I do recommend it for an Encore!
Happy Listening

7 people found this helpful

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  • W.
  • 07-18-20

Murderous. Raw. Unpredictable. Hot AF.

I was totally unprepared for enjoying , so much, this rather bloodthirsty , death dealing, sanguinary story. It might've been the balancing act authors did , as there is as much hope, goodness and love as there is darkness.

Feel My Pain is a vivid, sexually explicit, bloodthirsty, unexpected , at times gruesome , well crafted, hurt-comfort, true enemies to lovers , romance story.

About two very fierce , unlikable , damaged individuals, with storylines involving magic, Paranormal activity, taboo and trigger sensitive topics.

Yep, Roach/Reed and Zane antagonistic , snarky and nasty banter, pull/push, beyond complicated relationship; murderous in Zane's case, made it difficult to connect with them . Yet , they pulled it off. I ended up caring about their past, present and their future.

Narrated by the articulate and skillful Kirt Graves . His portrayal of Roach, brilliantly captured the hero moody and self depreciating personality. With equal finesse, he nailed Zane's dismissive and cruel attitude , as well as , his beguiling Southern accent . I should know, I live in Atlanta, And his performance of the sexy times are 'Oh là là' HOT.

For me, it's evidence of Kat and Agnes Merikan's talents and creativity that this violent, strange story it's so addictive and appealing. Their collaboration with Kirt Graves give it an even higher level dirtiness, delectability and devilishness.

Re-read/re-listen: Yes.
Recommend: Yes, especially to readers who like to draw outside the lines, don't see the box and aren't concerned with triggers.

#BooksILove #KU #Amazon #GRR #ReadOn2020 #ListenedOn2020 #Audible #AudioCreditWellSpent

4 people found this helpful

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A dark gritty and twisted and enemies to lovers!!🔥🖤

This book is dark, gritty, twisted and hot.!
Kirt Graves sure pulled this one off.
I am in awe of his flawless audio delivery which wasbso apt for this one.

This is a dark romantic suspense enemies to lovers, with paranormal elements woven into the plot.
Zane and Roach are two enemies who are cursed to feel eachother's pain.

This book was unpredictable and I couldn't guess what would happen next.
It sucked me in from the very beginning and kept me at the edge of my seat. Literally!!
I definitely recommend this one if you love a dark enemies to lovers, opposites attract with which is high on the angst and the steam.

3 people found this helpful

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No thanks

This was so bad. Really bad. It started as something with potential but as soon as Shane started to "take controll" over Roachs life and his constant "I will kill you"! and then they sleep togheter all the time, I was feeling done with this book. I did fight to actually finich this book, it took about a month, becouse I was hoping for something to get better but it only got worse! There were more questions than answers at the end and that didnt do it any favors.
I really like Kirt Graves but not even his amazing voice could make me slightly enjoy this book.

1 person found this helpful

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Wow

Wow this was definitely a ride I enjoyed being on. I was hooked from the moment I hit play and was extremely shocked by all sorts of this that happened in this story. The struggle between these characters pulled at my heart and I just wanted to hug them both. They each had their own things they were battling with and trying to cope with. I loved these characters though this a rather dark story with lots of revenge and violence. I love this author and this was a very good book. The narrator did a fantastic job.

1 person found this helpful

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Great Read.

It was interesting gory romantic Twisted loving Sexy what a great happily ever after loved it.

1 person found this helpful

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Love

I honestly loved this book but it is extremely brutal. It draws you in but also has made me cringe a lot throughout the story.

1 person found this helpful

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Epic!!!

Zane and Roach are mortal enemies who are cursed to feel eachothers pain. . . and arousal. Smoking hot and a wild ride!

1 person found this helpful

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Strange and excitingly erotic.

This story captured my interest on so many levels.. Characters complex and appealing , wounded and healing and I was totality caught up in the journey..
Some mysteries don't need to be solved. but give pleasure in their wonder and magic. Read and enjoy the struggle and the journey.

1 person found this helpful

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All the feels

This book has all the feels. Gruffy broken softy and a hot mess musician. I love all of KA Merikan's books. This book did not disappoint. Kirt Graves was such a great choice for narration.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 01-26-22

Paranormal With A Twist

This was a great story about revenge, codependency and eventually romance! Zane & Roach have a one night stand at the MC clubhouse. Roach can’t believe someone like Zane would ever be interested in him but he’ll take what he can get, even if for one night. Zane looks like he stepped out of a romance novel. Things turn ugly right after and Zane is “dealt” with from the other club members.

They cross paths two years later but they don’t know anything about the other. They make a lot of assumptions about what happened in the past and who the other person really is on the inside. The paranormal kicks in and they realize they are destined to stay together until they can figure things out. Zane is very mean, self-centered and bratty but Roach doesn’t care as long as he can have him for a long as he can. We learn near the end what really happened that night and it all comes crashing down on Roach’s shoulders.

This is a unique story with a great narrator. How can you go wrong with Kirt Graves and his awesome performances!

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  • DLav
  • 11-16-20

Awesome

I loved this story by KA Merikan and narration by Kirt Graves. The characters were interesting, the plot was perfect, and the story over all had all the elements to a fantastic piece! Humour, angst, drama, supernatural elements and spicy scenes that have you licking your lips. The characters were developed well from back story to present. They were relatable yet dark, endearing and raw. They all have depth and intrigue surrounding them. The connection between the two MCs was incredibly thick and delicious. The plot too turns I didn't expect in all the best ways! It was funny and dark and I loved every bit of it. The ending was incredible! The narration was amazing. Graves brought life and passion to the entire story. His voice was clear throughout and the way he presented the characters with varied tones and voices. He was able to bring something special to the story

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    4 out of 5 stars
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  • Belinda Zamora
  • 08-04-20

Buckle up for a dark and twisted ride

This was raw, dark, and gritty.
It was filled with pain, suffering and so emotionally compelling.
My heart broke for these poor broken and flawed men.
A tale with a paranormal twist full of suspense, heartache and finally redemption.
Kirt Graves did an exceptional job, his smokey rasp perfectly conveyed all the emotional complexities of these men.

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  • Erryn Barratt
  • 08-03-20

Another twisted sadistic tale

I always hesitate when I have the chance to listen to a K.A. Merikan book. Their books don’t allow for a wishy-washy response. It’s visceral. You either love them or you hate them. This is one I loved.

Roach and Zane aren’t likeable men. Attractive? Sure. Bad boys? You bet. Would your mama want you to bring one home? Oh hell no.

Reed ‘Roach’ Denver has had a tough go of it. He’s been raised under the boot of a father who runs a biker gang and a biker bar. He’s been forced to do some horrific things. On the exterior he’s all rough, tough, and harsh.

Zane is gorgeous, all long hair and sexy body. He’s a musician who uses sex to get what he wants and has never hidden who he is. After playing a set at a random biker bar, he winds up in a back room with Roach who is so far in the closet a search party would have to find him. Things go well and then things go badly.

Two years later Zane comes back to town with his ‘band’. He knows this is a bad idea but the money is good and he doesn’t have a lot of options. While he’s playing he sees Roach and a flood of emotions besets him. I wasn’t sure which way this might go, but it’s clear hate is right up there with lust.

The synopsis talks about when one bleeds the other bleeds as well. The men are so connected that one cannot live without the other. If one dies, the other will likely die as well. Makes revenge kind of tough. There’s also humor – one morning Zane wants Roach to get out of bed. Zane steps into a freezing cold shower and Roach is in that bathroom in no time demanding the hot water be turned on. I thought the pain was only physical, but there were moments when it crossed over to the emotional as well.

The men have the choice of either learning to live with this unholy bond or breaking it. Sounds simple, but is in no way easy to accomplish.

Both men are damaged and I love that. Both men are capable of compassion and I love that as well. In the end, both seek forgiveness and redemption. But will they ever find a way to live with each other?

This book is one massive mind (insert expletive here). Exactly what I’ve learned to expect from K.A. Merikan.

I adore Kirt Graves and he was perfect as narrator for this twisted piece. He gave it the right nuance. I can recommend this book but be forewarned – those trigger warnings exist for a reason.

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  • Thais Dematte
  • 08-03-20

Like always, amazing

Zane and Roach's twisted love is a little different from the others books the authors have written, but amazing nonetheless. The smexy scenes are what I most like about the book, it's raw and unapologetic, close to reality but still ficcional enough to enjoy. It's the first time I listen to Kirst Graves narrating something from K.A. Merikan, I like his narration, but I don't think he was the right choice for the characters, I was expecting a more gravely voice.

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    5 out of 5 stars
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  • XG
  • 08-02-20

Dark twisted love...

Every time I read a book written by these 2 wonderful authors, I know that I am going to get caught in a twisted world of intense emotions and difficult moments. Zane and Roach's dark love story is a morbid pleasure that even if causes me a lot of distress I couldn't stop hearing it specially in the amazing acting voice and outstanding performance of Mr Graves that made everyhing even more intense and dark if possible. So wonderful...

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  • Susie Umphers
  • 08-01-20

Super intense

Oh my! I have read my fair share of enemies to lovers stories, MC stories, hurt/comfort stories and paranormal connection stories but never one that mixed the four up like this book. I mean what do you do when the person you hate and try to destroy is a person connected to you so you feel everything he feels? You end up stuck taking care of him and over time and feelings you don't even begin to know how to process develop. I'll bet that in most of the romances you read you can say at the end when they get their HEA that you wouldn't mind ending up in a relationship like that. I doubt you will be able to say that here. Yes, there is an HEA but hard won doesn't begin to cover it. I am not even totally sure on some level I like either of these guys but I couldn't stop reading their story. Dark, dark and very hot. I wouldn't dare go into more detail than the blurb about exactly what happens. If that intrigues you even with the warnings, then dig right in. A unique story. I love Kirt Graves as an audiobook narrator, particularly in the Novak Family series but nothing I have listened to with him has been this dark. I was very curious to see what he would do with this material. I was blown away! I listened to this after I read it but this performance still surprised me with details I missed in the reading and it intensified all the feelings I initially had. All the characters' emotions and pain were right there and viscerally raw. A stunning book and a stunning achievement by Kirt Graves in this performance.

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  • Magnus
  • 08-01-20

A Must Listen

Think I might become addicted to KA Merikan stories, another winner in my eyes. Just the right amount of dark story line to make it interesting and to top it off with Kirt Graves as narrator was amazing.
This book was given to me for free at my request and I provided this voluntary review.

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  • Trio
  • 08-01-20

Deliciously Dark, Spectacular Job by Kirt Graves

I’ve never heard Kirt Graves sound better than in his performance of K.A. Merikan’s Feel My Pain. His gravely, growly, low voice is fantastic for the tone of this story, and the emotion he brings to the moments of intimacy and tenderness is truly lovely. Graves is always amazing, but he really shines in this one.

The Merikans spare no expense in making Feel My Pain as dark as possible. It’s not an easy story to listen to, but we fans know (though it might take awhile) we can count on a happily ever after for the heroes. I love the way these ladies craft a story, and Feel My Pain is one of their best.

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  • Sabbath
  • 08-01-20

Wow!

This book has it all! Chills, thrills, and a bit of the unexpected. I absolutely enjoyed this story, the plot interesting and intense at times. Graves’s narration sent my skin tingling at times and wanting more! Roach and Zane are dynamite and just wow! A book worthy of anyone’s TBR.

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  • Tine
  • 08-17-20

Wow!! Dark, powerful, amazing!

This is an incredible incredible book!
It’s dark, but the moments of light are blindingly good!
You will want to shake the heck out of both of the main characters so many times because they are so beautifully broken and incredibly written! Roach is deeply wonderful and Zane is a complete pain but they are magic together.

The trigger warnings are there for very very valid reasons but please stick with this if you can.

The narration was great, Kirt Graves is utterly perfect!

This book is every emotion, sometimes multiple at once.

Worth the credit! So so good!