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Publisher's Summary

The author of Self-Compassion follows up her groundbreaking book with new ideas that expand our notion of self-kindness and its capacity to transform our lives, showing women how to balance tender self-acceptance with fierce action to claim their power and change the world.

Kristin Neff changed how we talk about self-care with her enormously popular first book, Self-Compassion. Now, 10 years and many studies later, she expands her body of work to explore a brand-new take on self-compassion. Although kindness and self-acceptance allow us to be with ourselves as we are, in all our glorious imperfection, the desire to alleviate suffering at the heart of this mindset isn't always gentle, sometimes it's fierce. We must also act courageously in order to protect ourselves from harm and injustice, say no to others so we can meet our own needs, and motivate necessary change in ourselves and society.  

Gender roles demand that women be soft and nurturing, not angry or powerful. But like yin and yang, the energies of fierce and tender self-compassion must be balanced for wholeness and well-being. Drawing on a wealth of research, her personal life story and empirically supported practices, Neff demonstrates how women can use fierce and tender self-compassion to succeed in the workplace, engage in caregiving without burning out, be authentic in relationships, and end the silence around sexual harassment and abuse. Most women intuitively recognize fierceness as part of their true nature, but have been discouraged from developing it. Women must reclaim their power in order to create a healthier society and find lasting happiness. 

In this wise, caring, and enlightening book, Neff shows women how to reclaim balance within themselves, so they can help restore balance in the world.

©2021 Kristin Neff (P)2021 HarperCollins Publishers

What listeners say about Fierce Self-Compassion

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Liberal Activism distracting

The title of this book really attracted me. I am a person who has experienced the ramifications of living a Fierce life, experiencing the effects of attack, rejection, and social isolation and feel the author speaks to this beautifully. But at this stage in my life, self-compassion is really a journey to me...and way less about everything external to me. Once I successfully have love, compassion and forgiveness of self, it becomes real to extend that to others and move beyond what divides. I believe this is more important than anything else and what I felt the content of this book would be, not social justice and activism. Doesn't matter what side of the fence you are on, if you are judging the other guy, telling them what is wrong with them in a defensive or aggressive way, you are about separation. Although some of those words are in the book, it was not at the depth I was hoping for. In fairness, the author clearly says this is not a spiritual book, but I just cant help myself and expected it to speak to my heart. Some definitely did, but important content did not. There are judgements and prejudices used through out the book that made me almost abandon it, namely: the heavy emphasis on studies that proved over and over how important self compassion is versus tools on how to improve self compassion; the feminist dialog did seem to discount others except for Black Lives Matters where the author found a way to exclaim the pervasiveness of white supremacy, and how frequently political and social justice/activism was used to make the key points and examples. It was a distraction for me because quite a few times I did not agree with the one sided generalizations being made but I choose to believe her point was to show up, speak up, bring your brave heart to social injustice...what ever topic that may be, it is just that I have learned that not many people want to come to the table when you are shaming, blaming, and doing a power play to control them, So that bugged me, a little and likely would have been ignored if it was not sprinkled through the entire book, but when the author turns her attention fully to the foundation of self compassion... wow, really great stuff and something needed by so many.

80 people found this helpful

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Disappointing.

I am a big fan of Kristen Neff's first book, and her work in the area of Self-Compassion, but I couldn't make it past the third chapter of this book. It seems as though her motivation for writing this book was to push an agenda, along with her personal ideology and beliefs. It is easy to find other people's research to support a certain point of view, and this is what Dr. Neff does with this book.
I am very disappointed and hope she will spend more time doing her own research for any future books....she might be surprised at what she finds.

44 people found this helpful

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Everyone Should Read this!

Beautifully done book. Like I said before, both men and women should read this. Its required reading if you work, care for a sick or elderly person, ... actually if you're alive! Her exercises make you think, in a real way. I love her work. The way she was treated by her alma mater made me sweat with rage. That part reminds me of the Jim Crow south in the US. She started her Mindful Self-Compassion organization to help people, and that didn't count to get tenure? Gimme a break! As a society, we can do so much better than holding women to these outdated painful standards. Besides, everyone needs self-compassion, just like Helena Roth's "Doing Gentle With an Edge" you can learn to treat yourself better, even when you make mistakes.

21 people found this helpful

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Balance Fierce and Tender

This is a great book for anyone who is looking to create more balance in their lives. While there was a bit more research than I prefer, the book was clear that more self-compassion equals a better life. I appreciated the focus on women cultivating the fierce component of self-compassion and then balancing it with tender. I also appreciated the stories that brought the concepts to life. Honestly an A+ book overall.

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Beautiful book!

I absolutely love this book! Fierce self-compassion helps you to make peace with yourself through self-love, expressed both with ferocity and tenderness. To balance within yourself and become whole.

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Incredible!

I love this book—- it has changed the way I see Self Compassion and inspired me to embrace my identity as a women.

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Revelatory and Revolutionary

Cannot recommend highly enough! The audiobook was well-performed and now I’m going to get the hard copy and learning materials.

7 people found this helpful

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Worth several listens

I’ve read and listened to a lot by Kristin Neff. Learning about self-compassion and how to practice it has been THE BEST lesson in my life. I’ve endured a lot of trauma in my life and am now 50 years old. There is no escaping trauma and pain, but there is a remedy to suffering: self compassion.

This book is full of useful practices, so make use of the clips and bookmarks to return to them. This stuff works!! Sure, it may feel weird and self-indulgent in the beginning. Your mind may be telling you it’s a bunch of hooey. But give it a try. Intentionally practice it. It will get easier to practice it.
Face it, you’ve already got a lifetime of practice in beating yourself up. It’ll take a little time to get in the habit of self compassion. A good first step is to be able to even notice when your inner critic is becoming active. Most of the time, we don’t even realize it. This book and referenced websites offer so many tools to help. And the assistance of professional help, I.e., a therapist versed in IFS (internal family systems), meditation, EMDR, somatic trauma work, etc is a good companion on your journey.

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political rant

DNF. I thought I was buying a book on self compassion. It seemed the author spent more time on her political soap box pressing her agenda and view points than teaching about self compassion.

1 person found this helpful