• For the Love of Men

  • From Toxic to a More Mindful Masculinity
  • By: Liz Plank
  • Narrated by: Liz Plank
  • Length: 10 hrs and 35 mins
  • 4.7 out of 5 stars (481 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

This program is read by the author.

A nonfiction investigation into masculinity, For the Love of Men provides actionable steps for how to be a man in the modern world, while also exploring how being a man in the world has evolved.

In 2019, traditional masculinity is both rewarded and sanctioned. Men grow up being told that boys don’t cry and dolls are for girls (a newer phenomenon than you might realize - gendered toys came back in vogue as recently as the '80s). They learn they must hide their feelings and anxieties, that their masculinity must constantly be proven. They must be the breadwinners, they must be the romantic pursuers. This hasn’t been good for the culture at large: 99 percent of school shooters are male; men in fraternities are 300 percent (!) more likely to commit rape; a woman serving in uniform has a higher likelihood of being assaulted by a fellow soldier than to be killed by enemy fire. 

In For the Love of Men, Liz offers a smart, insightful, and deeply researched guide for what we're all going to do about toxic masculinity. For both women looking to guide the men in their lives and men who want to do better and just don’t know how, For the Love of Men will lead the conversation on men's issues in a society where so much is changing, but gender roles have remained strangely stagnant. 

What are we going to do about men? Liz Plank has the answer. And it has the possibility to change the world for men and women alike.

©2019 Liz Plank (P)2019 Macmillan Audio

What listeners say about For the Love of Men

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Important and thought provoking

The pros: this is part of a very important and timely discussion about what it means to be a man in contemporary history. Plank’s work is compassionate and sympathetic towards the male gender, and her position that toxic masculinity hurts men as much as anyone else feels very different from earlier feminist positions that seemed to make men the problem or even the enemy. She provides compelling evidence and stories to illustrate her points, and the narrative moves right along without dragging.
The cons: she’s not a professional reader. She mumbles and softens consonants (“masculinity” frequently comes out “makulinniny” Granted, it’s a difficult word to pronounce) and worse, her obvious inflections tell you what you’re supposed to think, rather than letting her arguments stand on their own merit. She grossly misrepresented or possibly misunderstood the work of Jordan Peterson, ascribing positions to him that, after listening to many hours of his podcasts and interviews, I just don’t think he holds. That made me suspect the accuracy of how she represented other studies that she quotes.
Overall, I found this book well worth my time. It’s not a perfect book, but it’s an important one. It did make me think in new ways, and it really made me hopeful that through genuine compassion, we as a society can have an open conversation about healthy masculinity.

14 people found this helpful

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I weep for your boys

I’m not sure if you stopped to think about this but I would like to meet the man who skin is tough enough to take the bombardment of negativity and insults you spew out about men. We all know about the imperfections of our president. Maybe you should wrap your mind around this. We knew about them before he was elected. There’s not a person with half a brain who wouldn’t tell you that the only way he got elected was because of how horrible his female competition was. You spew out statistic after statistic of studies and address symptoms as if they are problems. You really lost me when you misrepresented Jordan Peterson.You seem to be commenting on media reactions or your uninformed perception because you could not truly know his positions on things and make the statements you did. You were inaccurate in most of them. I saw you on television and mistakenly thought you had something to say that could help so I purchased a Audible and listen to your book on a long trip. I hope other people see through your misunderstood perception of reality. I only hope you do not bolster negative ideas and add to the growing problems that we are all battling. In case you’ve been living in a cave or just too oblivious to think about how one might hear your words, the way to get someone to listen to you and fix problems is not by creating a laundry list of everything that they are doing wrong. Jesus Christ I only wish I could get the time I listen to this book back. I but maybe I will be able toSave someone else for making the same mistake.

11 people found this helpful

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This book is a game changer

Just finished listening and already want to start it again. Critical information from cover to cover, this book could truly transform the world we live in, in a very fundamental way. Liz Plank tackles the sensitive subject of toxic masculinity with grace, understanding, and fluidity, in a way that all genders will be able to absorb. Historic in all regards. Will be holiday gifts for EVERYONE in my family this year, is bound to be a bestseller, and hopefully will be mandatory reading in gender studies curriculum for future generations. Chalice and The Blade level important. BEST.

5 people found this helpful

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Great introduction to society’s role at devaluing men

A great look into men’s changing roles in Society, and the lack of support. Lots of historical, and statistical context showing the negative masculine stereotype that most men and women grow up believing. I don’t like the term “toxic masculinity”, but there is truth to this concept that we all have been sold. Liz plank does a good job at delivering great info, maybe at times sounds a little condescending. While she provides great concern for the well being of men, she often reminds the listener of women’s fate regarding “toxic masculinity”, as if we haven’t heard about this same lecture since the 1960s. However In a book written for men, by a women, I feel she rarely misses her audience. If the idea was to point out the mindset of “toxic male identity”, all while offering numerous real solutions, she delivers. In summary this was eye opening, and mostly just reinforced the idea that that men and women need to support men in healthy ways, like the way we support women. Thanks for this book!

3 people found this helpful

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Evolving definitions of masculinity

It's always important to see the way notions of gender are constructed. Our notions evolve, and our times require us to revisit the dominant notions of what men want, need and are expected. There's a rapid re-envisioning happening across our social constructs, and our social contracts. These also have gender dynamics and defined expectations of what social functions men fulfill in the 21st century. Plank breaks down these notions with wit, humility, and grace as she takes the readers on a whirlwind tour of what she has learned about a new emerging form of mindful masculinity.

3 people found this helpful

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Every man needs this class

Liz Plank dissects the toxicity of traditional masculinity ideology and how it exists in every corner of our culture and lays out a vision of awareness and action. We teach young men dominance over empathy and excuse inappropriate behavior with "boys will be boys". Each and every one of us should read this book and do something to make this world a more welcoming and safe society for all. Thank you Liz, your perspective is always a revelation.

3 people found this helpful

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Poorly researched. Bad title.

The majority of this book is a slew of assumptions and poor research that does not support men in the least. It should be named, Liz knows everything and hates men. There is no nuance, just a bunch of misunderstood statistics that shed a horrible light on masculinity and men. It’s downright prejudice. I’m very disappointed in this shoddy body of work. Don’t waste your money on this. You won’t learn anything from it.

1 person found this helpful

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Not worth the time

If you are women, this is the book for you. This book will arm the adventuring warrior princess with various weapons to crush a mans soul, from the mace of man bashing to the holy sword of femininity. This book also offers greater potions of loathe Trump to bolster the feminist acolyte through this Mind Flayer's Codex. Men beware!! Here resides No Hope!! Illithid ^ Breault, Mike; TSR Staff (1990). Advanced Dungeons and Dragons: Monstrous Compendium/Mc7 (Spelljammer Appendix). Lake Geneva, WI S.l.: TSR, inc. ISBN 978-0-88038-871-9.

1 person found this helpful

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Illogical and problematic

I appreciate Liz’s attempt to address an important topic, but I think that she does not have a firm understanding of this issue and it shows in her book. She makes many fallacious arguments, is logically inconsistent, and her central thesis seems to change as you get further into the book, as if she was forming her opinion as she was writing. She continually cherry picks suspect data sources that fit her narrative better than they fit reality and when she doesn’t have data she presents personal anecdotes. It is sloppy work at best, but more likely intentionally dishonest in order to push an agenda. If you read the book at least take a moment to critically consider what you’re reading.

Other than that the writing is ok, but not spectacular. I did appreciate that the audiobook was self narrated, even if she isn’t professional. Overall it was an ok book that certainly was stimulating, albeit probably not in the way Ms. Plank intended. I would rate it 3/5.

1 person found this helpful

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My top book of the year

Every woman who has ever posted meme's attacking men for their misogyny and toxic masculinity owes it to themselves to read this book. Though it's not explicitly written to appeal to a male audience I've never met a man who would not benefit from this book.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 04-19-20

Stunning

So many nuggets in this book which just make you go “oh my God yes!” This should be read by everyone, everywhere.