• Getting Rid of Matthew

  • By: Jane Fallon
  • Narrated by: Zoe Telford
  • Length: 12 hrs and 3 mins
  • 4.3 out of 5 stars (6 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

Penguin presents the audiobook edition of Getting Rid of Matthew, by Jane Fallon, read by Zoe Telford.  

What to do if Matthew, your secret lover of the past four years, finally decides to leave his wife, Sophie, and their two daughters and move into your flat, just when you're thinking that you might not want him anymore....

Plan A: Stop shaving your armpits. And your bikini line. Tell him you have a moustache that you wax every six weeks. Stop having sex with him. Pick holes in the way he dresses. Don't brush your teeth. Or your hair. Or pluck out the stray hag-whisker that grows out of your chin. Buy incontinence pads and leave them lying around. 

Plan B: Accidentally on purpose bump into his wife, Sophie. Give yourself a fake name and identity. Befriend Sophie. Actually begin to really like Sophie. Snog Matthew's son (who's the same age as you by the way - you're not a paedophile). Buy a cat and give it a fake name and identity. Befriend Matthew's children. Unsuccessfully. Watch your whole plan go absolutely horribly wrong. 

Getting Rid of Matthew is the sharp and hilariously funny novel from Jane Fallon.

©2019 Jane Fallon (P)2019 Penguin Audio

What listeners say about Getting Rid of Matthew

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    4 out of 5 stars

Good story, not so good narration.

I enjoyed the story but found the narration lacking. She sounded like she was whispering the whole time, making me turn up the volume more than necessary.

1 person found this helpful

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  • CA
  • 03-02-20

Loved the book but not the narrator

Narrator seemed to whisper most of the book which really affected my enjoyment of it.

5 people found this helpful

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  • Diane Randall
  • 11-24-20

Getting Rid of Matthew

Brilliant book, don’t listen to the critics who say it was whispered (nearly put me off but so glad I ignored them)!
So true to life for me having met a similar ‘cad’ to Matthew at 40 odd! Brilliant wit, made me laugh out loud so many times. Thank you for a really good read!

2 people found this helpful

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  • Jo
  • 09-17-20

If you can get passed the dreadful narration ....

You feel as though you are being whispered to my someone for 8 hours, the narration voice is awful. And you’ll find yourself wanting to look over your shoulder for eavesdroppers trying to catch the whispering.

... After 4 hours it picks up. The story, not the voice.

This will be the last Jane Fallon for me. Fell in love with QueenB but nothing is as intriguing as that book has materialised. I returned Foursome it was dreadful. Story was bad and bad narraters make it unreadable. Shame.

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  • Judith Lennon
  • 08-02-20

Well......

This is the third Jane Fallon book I have read and I'm glad it wasn't the first. I stuck with it out of curiosity but have to admit it was very poor.. Most disappointing but judge for yourself. Definitely not recommended.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Jill Peer
  • 01-05-20

I loved this book

This is just about the best book l ever heard . And so far my favourite of Jane Fallons!

The mesh of accidents, crushes and hideous occurrences, the amazing twists, personalities and complexities couldn’t fail to excite and surprise me. I couldn’t put it down.

Thanks Jane! I shall keep searching for more of your tales of the unexpected!

1 person found this helpful

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  • Katie
  • 09-07-22

Keeps you company anyway

This book is way too long but I quite enjoyed listening to it as I did the housework and gardening, kept me company anyway.
The story is silly but entertaining if you suspend belief and don’t mind any kind of bad behaviour being shrugged off.
Funniest part is when Helen waits uncomfortably in a bar, checking the time and wishing she had a book - er this is the 21st century, she’d have been looking at her phone like everyone else LOL.

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  • Mrs Cole
  • 08-03-22

Listened to it all within 24 hours 4🌟🌟🌟🌟

This novel was so good, it was different and that's what I liked. It was addictive though, I listened to it within 24 hours. It also had a great ending.

I have listened to Jane Fallon books before and I loved them so I thought I would start from her debut novel.

The narrator whispered her way through the book and it was extremely frustrating at times. I even checked my volume was up loud, which it was.

This book reminds me of 'be careful what you wish for' it was worth the credit and I recommend this book 😀👍

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Joss
Joss
  • Joss Joss Joss
  • 04-08-21

enjoyed it, not keen on weired voices though.

female readers suddenly pretending to be male sounds weird and makes male characters sound pompous and comical. Enjoyed the story.

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  • Kay Moura
  • 02-05-21

Very entertaining!

Very well written.
I finished in 2 days, couldn't put it down.
I love nearly all the books from this author.

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  • Tammy
  • 01-18-21

Dissapointed

Unfortunately I didn't like this book... Almost fell asleep a few times and as the story progressed found the main character quite ego-centric.
Shame because I loved My Sweet Revenge by this author.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 01-18-21

One of the worst books I have listened to

Really poor story line, even for Fallon standards. Definitely the last one I would try.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Jennene
  • 10-26-20

Oddly interesting!

Captivating and a bit crazy. This story was tricky and wound round several characters bringing some interesting . I liked it a lot.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Kate
  • 08-28-21

Just loved it

The writer plays for the underdog for the people that have been hurt, mistreated and cheated on. and yes that's me, really this book has helped with my healing. Onward and upward. xox

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  • Lynette
  • 08-20-21

Not my favorite

I have enjoyed all the Jane Fallon books I have read so far, this one was very dissapointing though. I found it to be a very dull story and I struggled to finish it.