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Here Be Sexist Vampires
- Deep in Your Veins Series, Book 1
- Narrated by: Justine Eyre, P.J. Ochlan
- Length: 10 hrs and 29 mins
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Publisher's Summary
Sam Parker is a vampire with a gift so strong and substantial that she is invited to partake in a test for a place in the Grand High Master Vampire's private army. She finds that not only has the army never included a woman, but it has never included a Svente vampire; a breed that is regarded by the super strong Pagori breed and the hypnotically beautiful Keja breed to be too tame and human-like.
Most refuse to take her seriously, especially a Pagori commander named Jared who she craves in spite of herself. The Grand High Master, however, sees her potential and offers her the position of Jared's co-commander to help train the newest squad in time for the impending attack on his home. Sam has to demonstrate to Jared and the squad of chauvinists why it is incredibly foolish to underestimate a wilful, temperamental, borderline-homicidal Svente female.
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What listeners say about Here Be Sexist Vampires
Average Customer RatingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Gold Cursive
- 10-04-18
Wright may not fully understand what sexism is
I definitely found this book to be sexist in ways that the author may not have intended. Wright seems to have a very superficial almost juvenile understanding of gender equality. That being said I still enjoyed this book. It could be because I have recently read a slew of plodding dry stories and needed something basic and engaging to get through. Like a healthy eater who occasionally indulges in junk food. Also, I already purchased the sequel.
I do like the world that Suzanne Wright has created. I find the idea of there being different species among the vampires interesting. I enjoy some of the sassiness in the character of Sam and I also like that she is British. But I find her problematic.
The book rightfully takes issues with sexists-- it's in the title, it's mentioned repeatedly in the book, and yet Sam is incredibly sexist in her views of her own gender. She immediately judges all other female characters on only the most superficial aspects. In fact, when it comes to her description of other females it is heaped with body and slut shaming. She dismisses them easily in the same way she is initially dismissed.
The only woman who gets to be fully dimensional in this world is Sam. I do think it is possible to have a romance where other attractive females can be friends instead of rivals. It also could have been interesting to have a female rival who disliked Sam not because of jealousy over a man. It would be interesting to have another smart sassy female for Sam to butt heads with in a way that is interesting or challenged her. Either way, the tired jealousy fighting over a man shit is played out. Why in order to distinguish Sam do all the other women have to be vapid or unintelligent? Here I will admit that I am almost done the book but not completely finished. Maybe there is a surprisingly positive female characterization waiting in the last few chapters I have remaining. I suspect not.
Sam is conventionally attractive and possesses an extraordinary talent. She is able to wow the men so she is able to create a Sam-sized space for herself in this world seemingly sealing it behind herself as she does. Her character is not even willing to try to understand what it might be like for these other women in this male-dominated vampire world as long as there is a space for her.
I both enjoy and take issue with the characterization of her instant best friend Fletcher. I like Fletcher but I feel like we have evolved enough as a society to stop portraying queer men the same way all the time. Queer men were not created to be shopping buddies/ fashion advisors/ comic relief or cheerleaders for straight women. I wish I could bold that sentence. But within minutes of meeting him, that is the role Sam has put Fletcher in.
We get it! There are gay men who love fashion and shopping and effeminate is one of the many many ways a gay man can express himself and there's nothing wrong with that. But come on, like this is so cliche. While Fletcher is her best friend supposedly, she seems to judge him and find his feminine self-expression comical which doesn't seem truly accepting of who he is. We see all the ways that Fletcher is a loving supportive friend to Sam, but what does Sam do for Fletcher? How self-absorbed do you have to be to assume that someone else just lives to shop for you, fetch you things, make you pretty
be your therapist and care deeply about your romantic life..but I digress
Lastly, all the characters are like teenagers. Is this an elite vampire legion we are talking about or a high school football team, hard to tell. Seems like an elite team would probably be more skilled and professional. It also would stand to reason that the vetting and testing for such a role would be a bit more extensive. Also **SPOILER ALERT** It is perfectly reasonable for other vampires who have spent years training and being promoted to be offended that someone random off the street gets promoted to a similar status after one tryout. There is not much in the description of Sams background that in any way indicated that she had the skills to train or lead a legion into battle. It is not sexism that would give her new peers pause. Any sane person would be like 'hey who is this rando? will she get us all killed?"
I like the sexual tension between Sam and Jarod but for the love of god, I hope he grows up more in this series. He is so...basic. Like he's a grown man in charge of the safety of many many people, how is his capacity to reason so stunted? This is the most I have reviewed a book in a while so if obviously impacted me but I'm gonna stop here.
28 people found this helpful
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- Shorty
- 06-25-18
Male narrator just okay
The female narrator is enjoyable, but the male narrator is a little unemotional, and his attempt at female characters is between meh and painful.
The story was good. Looking forward to continuing with these characters.
This was a little tamer than most Suzanne Wright books, but only a little.
Love the training scenes with the squad. This world of vampires and their gifts leaves plenty of room for world and story building. Eager to see where it goes.
10 people found this helpful
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- Sardine
- 06-15-18
Here Be Feminists Who Hate Women
I read this ebook a few months back and liked it well enough but it did not withstand the test of a repeat experience. The Main character, Sam, sets herself up as some great bastion of feminine strength and idealism fighting the vampire patriarchy yet misses no opportunity to disparage the other women in the book. Nary a chapter goes by that she doesn't sneeringly compare herself to the hero's consort. The story had potential, but Sam's attitude toward other women killed it for me.
Justine Eyre's voice work was quite good. However, P.J. Ochlan should stay far, far away from any roles involving a British accent.
46 people found this helpful
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- B. Valdez
- 06-10-18
Worth the Wait!!
I've been waiting for this story to become "Audible" since I first read this story on my Kindle several years ago (and I re-read too). Being American, I had some "editing" issues but the story was really interesting and a new twist on vampire "life." There are more stories with Sam and Jared that are totally worth reading and then waiting for the Audible version. Praise for whoever decided to use a male and female to read Sam's and Jared's parts, IT WAS PERFECT. So, Great Story (get a copy) and enjoy the trip to an island.
27 people found this helpful
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- Janelle
- 03-03-19
Great concept, badass heroine, 1 sided male lead
First, Justine Eyre is a wonderful narrator, her voice is lovely and she is able to bring such great dimension to both the male and female characters. The male narrator, P.J. Ochlan, also has a lovely voice and I am sure it sounds wonderful for some of the books he narrates, but it just didn't seem like a match for this one. It probably would have been best to have Justine narrate the entire book herself.
The concept of the book is pretty neat; vampire races with vampiric magical abilities....definitely interesting. The parts of the book that explores this as well as the training of the recruits is also a highlight of the whole novel. Sam as the heroine has her moments of truly being badass. Then comes Jared and the love/lust aspect of the novel. It seems like a very stereotypical dumbed down version of how a TV drama is played out over dramatizing what people may describe as sexist and chauvinistic, to a cringeworthy level. Sam as the female lead is steadfastly against all that Jared stands for, but still finds herself wanting to be with him. Jared, well, let's just say he is up there on my list of characters I hate but not because they were written well. He's just a plain old crappily written, shallow, no solid backstory character who just makes you think that Sam has some really low standards for men. Also, the level of slut shaming the consorts and also body shaming other women while also touting how badass/anti-sexist Sam is as the female protagonist is more than a bit hypocritical. This ends up knocking Sam's "I'm a badass woman against sexism" down to a level of about '0'.
The book falls short of being overall 'good' because of this. At just 60%, I found myself skipping forward because the love-interest between Jared and Sam was nauseating in it's double-standards. I ended up DNFing the entire book. Maybe I missed out, I know I at least missed the sex scene, but after looking at other reviews, I don't think I missed much...
4 people found this helpful
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- A Jordan
- 06-17-18
I don't find sexism to particularly a turn on.
In the end, Jared doesn't change. He's still a sexist, and his 'love' for Sam isn't based on respect, but lust. I find his character to be repulsive even, and no self-respecting woman like Sam would ever allow herself to be owned by a sexist butthole like Jared. I found the character development to be very weak and the final battle at the end was rushed. There were a couple more chapters of words that could have been included to really make the world and the characters better, but they were left out. The intimate scenes weren't very exciting, and Jared's disrespect for Sam is highlighted in these scenes. Overall, I thought this book was poirly written and instead of being lost in a romance, I was distracted by all the sexism taking place.
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- Cali Books
- 06-29-18
Why....!
So I really like this writer and I have most of her books on my kindle . But I don’t have any of her audiobooks. So I decided to try out Here Be Sexist Vampires. The woman’s voice that narrated Sam story was OK it took some time to get used to it but I soon got into the story. The problem started then they switched over to a man’s Voice to narrate Jared story and it’s completely awful he’s monotone and obnoxious I really can’t stand listening to him. I think he ruined this book for me. Especially when he try to do a British accent... Just NO
3 people found this helpful
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- Renate Kohlhas
- 01-08-19
Nice story but..
I listened to the Phönix- and the Mercury-Pack and I was totally in love with the story.
Here...
Nice story with interesting backround, but I was really upset about the protagonists behavior to the three “ex-girlfriends”... they are nothing worth... no responsibility ... no feelings... nothing. This is disappointing. I had difficulties to see the main protagonists as “good” vampires.. in miss a clear line.
I am ok with this girl-fight theme and also with the jealousy- theme (in an story, not in real life) but here... it is to much egoism and to less ethical behavior...
but nevertheless... I will buy the second part... to give the interesting story a second chance...
2 people found this helpful
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- GSKM in sc
- 06-15-18
Beyond 10 stars
I read this years ago, fell in love with the book and then the series! I have since read all of Ms Wright’s books. But this series and this book is a favorite. Beyond thrilled to see the audible version. Can’t wait to see the rest. Please! I have listened to this more than 4 times since I got it and I have not gotten tired of it yet. Narration is excellent. All the right emotions are expressed. Thank you for the audible version. Please do the rest.
7 people found this helpful
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- LizLemonLike
- 10-23-18
More holes than swiss cheese
This book isn't bad exactly. It's just that the plot line is full of holes, story lines aren't fully developed, and characters are unidimensional. I do like that the main character is self confident.
1 person found this helpful
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- Jan
- 06-11-18
Downfalls of multiple narrators
So disappointed with the narration. Justine Eyre uses BBC English but pronounces several words using American pronunciation. Also when Sam the heroine is being read by Justine Eyre she has a BBC English accent most of the time with occasional cockney , when P.J Ochlan is narrating Sam has a cockney accent. I think I will just read the hard copy.
11 people found this helpful
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- Suzy GM
- 06-29-18
Loved it!
Can’t wait the next. Great story so much more in it than your usual vampire stories.
4 people found this helpful
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- s manning
- 03-05-19
Love the book , narration not so good !
Ok so I love Suzanne Wright's books & usually score 5 stars such an awesome writer but the narration of the female character 'Sam' was awful. It almost put me off continuing to listen which would have been a shame as the story is great , the so called 'British Accent' was just so bad, like a mix of bad bbc English, messed up cockney & a twang of Australian / American. The male Narration was great no problem there, I'm going to buy book 2 in this series, i just hope to goodness the Narration is better. I've listened to more than a dozen of Wright's books this one was the only one I have had a problem with so far !
3 people found this helpful
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- maltipom
- 07-09-18
Loved it!
I have enjoyed everything I've read by this author and the two narrators do a good job with it. The usual feisty, strong heroine as in all Suzanne's stories with a wit that makes me laugh out loud.
3 people found this helpful
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- Kindle Customer
- 04-06-19
loved the book, hated the narration
I read this book a while ago, and thought I'd give the audio book a try, I've listened up to part of chapter 2, but have had to stop because my ears started to bleed, as the narration was terrible,
2 people found this helpful
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- Anonymous User
- 08-06-18
I loved it.
Fun to listen while driving to summerhouse for holiday. 2 storytellers were good thing. Clear english even for foregner.
5 people found this helpful
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- Mrs. C. Hunt
- 07-15-18
Here be Sexist Vampires
This is a funny story with lots of attitude, about two Vamps fighting their attraction for each other. While battling a take over. Read brilliantly by Justine Eyre and P. J. Ochlan.
2 people found this helpful
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- Juliana
- 07-09-18
The Irony Isn't Lost On Me
I was expecting to go into this book and read from an annoyingly feminist perspective. I enjoy reading books written by people who think differently to me. I was shocked to read this book that contains the most misogynistic female main character, which is supposed to play this feminist icon. Sam says things like "I have more balls than you," and "you're dating a twig who doesn't even make up for it with boobs." Sam only befriends guys, while alienating and dismissing any female. Befriending men and only men is not an issue, for I only really have male friends. The issue is the way she looks at other females and does not engage with them in civil conversation; she always insults (directly or indirectly)
Also, the author uses the protagonist's sexual abuse story as a way to gain pity and glorify the abusive relationship she is about to enter into. The author uses rape as a plot driver, which is fundamentally wrong on many levels. One of them being that it glamorizes rape. Girls will read this and subconsciously think to themselves that rape or sexual abuse is the only way to progress socially in life.
In addition, the love interest is extremely misogynistic. Not misogynistic by modern standards--this would make even a Shakespearian audience wince. At the beginning of the book, he thinks that Sam will not pass the trials because she's the only female in history and because she is one of the weaker races of vampires. Although the view is bigoted, it's understandable. Competitive sports are usually separated by gender because males tend to have higher scores due to their larger muscle mass. Also, being of a weaker race puts Sam in a double disadvantage. Throughout the trials, the love interest belittles Sam and treats her as well as the dirt beneath his feet. At the end of the competition, Sam clearly shows that she is more than capable of the position offering (the trials are a test and whoever wins gets a job offering). The love interest ignores this completely, admits that he would have given her the position were she male. I understand this book is supposed to show character development of the love interest, but people can only change so much. I doubt that by the end of these book series he would have improved much, judging by the writing style. Another thing I forgot to mention above is that the love interest also views women as his own toy. He views them purely as sexual objects, which he may have gotten away with, were it not for his insufferable misogynistic attitude.
I also despised the portrayal of gay people in this book. We're introduced to a gay guy a couple of chapters in and he is a walking, talking stereotype. It's one thing making a gay guy feminine, a whole other thing making him into a cookie-cutter character. He is immediately shown as promiscuous and 'flamboyant.' This may just piss me off because I'm bi and sick of LGBT people being presented as these sex-crazed toys straight people use. You can also see that as soon as Sam sees him, she wants him to be her GBF, although, to the author's credit, does not say in those precise words. The concept behind a GBF is a form of mild homophobia because it portrays gay people as these fun toys to play with when you're bored of your straight friends.
A small pet peeve of mine also popped up in this book: inaccurate portrayal of English people. This was actually funny because English culture was so stereotyped and exaggerated; it was comical. All my English folk will understand what I mean!
Overall, I'd like to say that I do not think the author is sexist or homophobic but the way her characters behave can give that impression. I did not finish the book, so if anything in the review is wrong, forgive me, I just couldn't stand it. Finally, I apologize if I came across as ultra-feminist (corrupted meaning) it's just that this book was so undeniably sexist; I couldn't contain myself.
6 people found this helpful
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- happy86sc
- 07-26-18
Amazing
Loved this book couldn’t stop listening love these characters very much Sam is amazing 👍x
1 person found this helpful
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- N. Mahoney
- 07-23-18
Suzanne Wright has written another amazing series,
I have read almost every book that Suzanne Wright has written and as soon as is possible I have purchased her books in audiobook form. A mixture of her talented writing and well chosen voice actors who have a good range and pleasant voices have so far made me thoroughly enjoy every audiobook that I have.
Let’s talk characters. As with her other books, Here Be Sexist Vampires had a wealth of wonderful characters. We have our feisty, interesting, and beautiful leading lady, Sam and our stubborn, sexy but apparently sexist, leading man Jared. Then we have an absolute stellar cast of other personalities.
Sam is approached to leave her abusive sire and try out become a member of the Grand High Masters (vampire) army. Unusually Sam is a Sventé vampire, her type of vampire is generally considered to be the lowest on the totem pole and the type of breed that is tamest and appears more human, and of course she is a woman. Two things that are unheard of in the Grand High Masters army. Sam, along with a selection of other vamps try out to join the army. Unlike Sam the other vampires trying out are all male and either the Pagori breed that are regarded as super strong, or the hypnotically beautiful Keja breed.
Sam is mocked upon sight and as she makes it further and further through the trials the comments are nothing short of amazed that a female Sventé is triumphing as others fail. Despite her incredible talent and power Jared does not choose her to become a member of the army.
Luckily for Sam the Grand High Master sees her as having more potential that a soldier and makes her a Commander, tasked with working as a team with Jared to prepare the troops. Jared, predictably does not take this news well.
Sam is such a wonderfully feisty character who takes rubbish from no one and she regularly made me smile throughout the book. There are so many likeable, amusing, strong and interesting characters that I would be typing all day if I attempted to cover them all. The amazing thing is the the two voice actors that narrated this book were outstanding on all of those characters, managing to express so much personality and attitude. Justine Eyre, and P.J. Ochlan are the Female and Male voice actors narrating this book and they are incredibly skilled.
As soon as I finished this audiobook I came onto Audible and purchased the second audiobook in the Deep In Your Veins series and pre-ordered the third
3 people found this helpful
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- Penny Ellen
- 06-11-18
Intriguing
I really enjoyed listening to this book, I don’t usually listen to books as I find it easy to loose interest when it is an audio book but the narrator kept me interested the whole way through. I love the story and find Sam to be a smart mouthed, crazy badass chick. I am looking forward to the next book being released on audio.
2 people found this helpful
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- Emily
- 04-20-19
Two voice actors that don't interact.
The voice actors switch depending on which chapter the characters POV is from. I found it odd that the voices were inconsistent and I tried to ignore it for the sake of the story.
I liked the story, though I felt it would have been more enjoyable to listen to if each voice actor kept to their character.
1 person found this helpful
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- karen grave
- 12-27-18
I have read the authors books back to front
and I have to say she's improved immensely. Phoenix and mercury pack books are outstanding. and thank God you found the ever brilliant Jill Redfield.
I like Justine Eyre but the male narrator....oh pleeease don't try the English accent .
I wasn't happy with him at all.
all in all great alphas, tidy story, witty writing and great descriptive storyline. but boy ms Wright you definitely get better,!
,
1 person found this helpful
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- ron anker
- 09-01-21
very good story line great listening
love it , funny ,fun, action , sexy , nothing bad to say , narrator was fantastic
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- Simone
- 04-23-21
Please no PJ
Thank goodness Justine Eyre had the lion share of the reading, she's by far the better narrator. The story is honestly a nice bit of fluff but there's nothing terrible about it and it was a bit of fun. My biggest criticism background male characters, so often act like 13 year olds rather than grown men, and Suzanne completely forgetting about modern weapons of war. Not one gun gets a mention and I doubt that they don't exist in her little world.
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- Redback209
- 12-19-19
Average story performed well
Story was about the typical Mary Sue over powered in every way and the love interest was little more than a walking sex toy. Other than that the story was somewhere between good and ok.
The Narrators did an amazing job though, especially the English girl
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- Julie
- 12-23-18
Awful Cockney accents
So Justine Eyre does not even try to do a Cockney accent and I wish P.J.Ochlan had not tried.
Justine does a better male part that P.J does a female one.
The discrepancies between the accents and switching between the narrators detracted from the story. I prefer one narrator for the whole story.
The story is in interesting twist on the vampire genre.
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- Pamela Kermode
- 09-15-18
Fantastic!
This story and characters made me laugh out loud. Just downloaded book number 2. I love Justine Eyre as a narrator and PJ Ochlan is just as great.
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- Reader
- 08-11-18
Megh
I wanted to like the storyline. I really did. I enjoy stronge female leads, but she was whiny and a bigger sexist than those she complained about. The obnoxious female lead character made it difficult to finish the story. I also didn't like the narrators. They read too quickly instead of creating realistic characters and dialog. It was cheesy.
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- Imee-B
- 06-14-18
***HOT AS HELL***🥵
Another sizzling series from the queen of heat omg Sam is the bomb and Jared woah this two makes me fan myself 🥵🥵 the action is so fast and the heat level 🌶🌶🌶🌶🌶 scorching🌶🌶 Justine Eyre i am a huge fan thank you❤ P.J. Ochlan your voice is sexy, witty and versatile. you makes women drool haha thanks.