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Hosed  By  cover art

Hosed

By: Lili Valente,Pippa Grant
Narrated by: Jacob Morgan,Virginia Rose
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Publisher's Summary

The world’s sexiest firefighter is about to get a second chance with the virgin next door....

He’s bossy, arrogant, and so ridiculously hot that he should come with a warning label and a pair of flame-retardant coveralls.

He’s also the boy who broke my heart when we were in high school.

I want to move in next door to Ryan O’Dell the way I want to be the virgin gamer geek suddenly in charge of running my sister’s sex-toy factory. Too bad both are written in my stars.

Yeah, I’m the world’s oldest virgin code-writing nerd. And he’s the world’s hottest firefighter. And even though he intimidates the heck out of me, I can’t seem to control my libido when he’s around.

Where is my dignity? My self-respect? My panties?

Seriously...have you seen them? Anyone?

Maybe they’re hiding in his bedroom. With my heart.

Yeah, I know. I’m hosed. So hosed.

Hosed is a steamy, fun romantic comedy between a firefighter and the virgin nerd next door, complete with a pet raccoon, scandalous gossip, and dildo football. (No, really.) This romance has no cheating or cliff-hangers and ends with a banging-hot happily ever after.

©2019 Pippa Grant and Lili Valente (P)2019 Pippa Grant and Lili Valente

What listeners say about Hosed

Average Customer Ratings
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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

Super cute story

Narration was AMAZING!!! Anything with Jacob Morgan is pure gold :) and Virginia did a great job!
It was a unique story line with lots of funny times but not too many sexy times 😜 but even tho it wasn't the steamiest story ever, it is most definitely worth the credit!!!
Side note, the bonus epilogue in the raccoons point of view literally had me rolling on the ground laughing 😂

17 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Quirky, original, and fun!

Ok, I loved this. It was silly, sassy, funny, and a bit different.

We have the small Georgia town of Happy Cat, where a woman named Savanna has opened a sex toy factory. Some of the citizens are quite irate about that. But Savanna gets her heart broken, leaves town in her grief and ominous things begin to occur at the factory. Meanwhile, her sister Cassie comes to town to operate the factory in Savanna's absence. When there is a fire at the factory, firefighter Ryan comes to the rescue. They were in high school together, where Ryan unwittingly broke Cassie's heart. That's how the story opens.

But, the charm of this tale is in the small town setting, the quirky characters, and George Cooney, Raccoon Extraordinaire. The love story is sweet, the 'drama' is fun and intriguing, and the denouement is emotionally fulfilling. I laughed many times while listening, and smiled hugely the rest of the time. If you like Lauren Blakely's books, I think you'll like this too. There is some angst, but it's not overdone, mostly I just found myself rooting for these two (and George, of course!), and enjoying my little trip to Happy Cat. I hope this is a series, because Ryan has some hot brothers, and of course there is still Savanna who needs an HEA. This is definitely a book I will listen to many times! (Be sure you listen to the second epilogue, it'll definitely make you laugh.)

The narration was perfect. Jacob Morgan/Zachary Webber was as wonderful as always, and Virginia Rose had just the right soft, sweet voice to perfectly embody Cassie. These two make a great team, and I'd like to see them paired up more often. If this does turn into a series, I certainly hope they narrate each volume! Frankly, I'd like to see them (and hear them!) more frequently in general. They are both too talented not to see more air time. I hope you're listening, Audible!

If you like humorous, unusual, contemporary romance, I think you'll enjoy this. It would be a wonderful pick me up on a blue day, a nice comfort read, or if you've just listened to something dark and heavy this would be a great mood lightener. It's not very long, so it would be a lovely book for the airplane or car, as well. I highly recommend this one!

11 people found this helpful

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Great book

This is a great listen. My heart was warm and fuzzy, I laughed and I listened to Jacob Morgan. He could read the dollar menu at McDonalds and make it sound enticing. Worth the credit.

9 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

This book was harilious.

ok 1st of all I bought this book because it was a Pippa Grant book. That alone is a winner for me. 2nd you just have to read this book, the bathroom scene alone, which includes Ryan & Cassie was so funny that tears were rolling down my face. I literly had trouble seeing to drive. 3rd the George Coony epilogue alone is enough to set anyone to rolling on the floor laughing. Truly it was priceless!
So please if you want to laugh so hard that you won't ever need to do crunches again then please buy this book. You sure won't be sorry, the romance is good, steamy parts are great, and the cast of characters are so well written its like they really are alive in Happy Cat, Georgia.
And no spoiler here but the bad character sure deserves a big old kick in the pants because the bad person will blow your mind.
So my fellow readers, happy reading.

9 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Cute love story and entertaining but one scene too silly

For the most part I enjoyed this for a light romantic comedy, but scene where she gets “stuck” in toilet is silly and not believable to me.

6 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Feel good and laugh out loud funny!

Okay, I loved this. It’s an easy, fun read with tons of sweet and funny moments. The bonus epilogue was my favorite part and induced some major deep belly laughter. If you’re looking for something light to enjoy in between heavy or dramatic reads, this is perfect!

5 people found this helpful

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    3 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars

Lost my attention pretty quick

This is a "cute" story, but the plot was very simple. It lost my attention very quickly. I am usually more of a fan of slow burners, so when a book just moved straight from them meeting each other then being wildly in love, it just turns me off.

5 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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FIRE AND HEART

This is just a really cute story - love all the characters including the raccoon.

4 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Silly and obnoxiously fun!

Wow, what a ride! This book has a lot of silly, but the community of Happy Cat is so worth it. You felt it. The gossip. The trash talking. The spirit.

Ryan and Cassie were cute, but I got ticked off at little bit with Ryan. Y’all need to check this book out if you want to know. I enjoyed their attraction, though.

Virginia and Jacob were great. Jacob can now add raccoon character voice to his resume. So good. I can’t stand how much I loved the extra epilogue.

4 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars

fun and enjoyable

clever story interesting characters fun with animals a crazy raccoon that's just so captivating. highly recommend

4 people found this helpful

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    4 out of 5 stars
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  • LilleyLoohLah
  • 11-04-19

4 fully vibrating stars

What a completely sweet angst free romance, not quite second chance romance (they were never together to begin with), but it would appear both Ryan and Cassie had feelings for each other for a long time. When Cassie moves next door to Ryan (in her sister’s home), he can no longer hold back his feelings. Lots of romance, a little sexy time and a mystery that the whole town wants to solve. Let’s not forget George Cooney, the adorable raccoon that truly stole the show, I loved him. Oh, and just so you know. The whole story is based around a sex toy factory. Fun times. A completely enjoyable easy read. Feel food romance at its best. Wonderful writing, sweet characters and perfect narration. Jason Clark can do no wrong.

1 person found this helpful

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  • mangankillarney
  • 10-19-22

fun, heat

I loved the dual narration of Jacob Morgan and Virginia Rose

I found myself laughing
George Cooney and sticky fingers made laugh out loud. Ryan and Cassie character are fund to read and listen to. This book has everything love, sex adventure and laughter.

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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  • Smee
  • 04-20-21

Really good fun

Great narration, really fun and enjoyable book. The story is quirky and the townspeople are brilliant. George is easily my favourite tho!

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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Profile Image for joyly55
  • joyly55
  • 02-15-21

10 ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐romcom

Absolutely fabulous story about Cassie and Ryan with the characters of a small town named Happy Cat. The townspeople have divided opinions about the sex toy factory that Cassie is managing on behalf of her sister Savannah. The narrators did an amazing job of bringing all the characters to life and I just loved the extra epilogue devoted to George Cooney (the rascally raccoon) Highly recommended 💕💕

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    5 out of 5 stars
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  • Samantha Boulanger
  • 12-28-20

Amazing and hilarious!

The narration by Jacob & Virginia was fantastic!! Loved the story and laughed so much. Up lifting and gripping. You won't regret reading this book.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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  • Katharoo
  • 06-03-20

Sweet, sexy fun!

This was an amazing romcom full of giggles, tons of laughs and crushing on an old crush book! Careful, you may snort laugh too!


Jacob does an awesome job as Ryan our hero in this book. He does an amazing job of bringing Ryan to life. And Virginia Rose is sweet as Cassie. Loved the raccoons too!

This book caught me right away and I couldn’t stop until it was done!

I asked or won this audiobook and I’m leaving my honest opinion here!


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    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for HAPPYGOLUCKY
  • HAPPYGOLUCKY
  • 07-07-19

Amazing!!!

I loved everything about this book. Great MC's, great supporting characters, and a great storyline. The addition of the animals is just genius and the narrators nailed it. Can't recommend highly enough

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for mhwasma
  • mhwasma
  • 07-02-19

Brilliant

This audio book is so funny, I was laughing out loud at some points. I would definitely recommend this book. Jacob Morgan's voice is wonderful to listen to. Jacob is actually Zachery Webber so if you like his voice, theres more books you can search for. Virginia Rose voice was great too. They both captured the characters well.

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Binder Gata-aura
  • Binder Gata-aura
  • 06-27-19

brilliant, funny, romantic

love the characters wished that it carried on and on, light hearted and a nice easy read and audio voices are great.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for all the books are mine!
  • all the books are mine!
  • 02-08-19

Fabulous romantic comedy

Loved this audiobook from start to finish. There was such an ease to the story. The whole thing just made me smile.
Loved the narration.
Recommended 😍

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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  • gala
  • 07-30-21

What a terribly narrated book

I tried to listen to this book but the voices were crap. The story line gets a bit lost due to the missing bits you are meant to figure out yourself. I tried to skip ahead but couldn’t get over the voice of Virginia Rose. It was like a dentist drill in the middle of my head. And she can not do male characters’ voices.
Please try again and get male voices to read male characters’ lines.

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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  • Jade B
  • 12-08-20

Hosed

This book is funny, and sweet and all the things a good romance book should be. I really enjoyed it!

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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  • Bonnie B
  • 10-13-19

Exactly What You're After

Other than the fact that the title is a little uninspired, this book is exactly what you want it to be.
Slightly cheesy, but made better by the fact that the male narration is a flawless performance. Characters are good, and of course the story is very 'lucky' with many coincidences. Despite this, the romance (really, the only reason any of us chose this one) is played out well. And it's only a 6 hour read! Loved it.

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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  • Cat woman
  • 05-12-19

hilarious great read

was not the story i was expecting. but without a doubt one of the most funniesrt romcoms i have read or heard. this was my first ever from yhese authors and will eagerly search for more..

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for kdee
  • kdee
  • 04-14-19

The hero of the story is not human

if you are looking for lots of burning heat, this is not the book to read. But if you want to enjoy a cute story, where the hero is a furry animal, please read. I had a few laughs and chilled out listening to the audio.

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Kelly Jenkins
  • Kelly Jenkins
  • 03-25-19

Soo funny!!! Well worth it but don’t read in public as you will literally LOL.

Crazy funny - I want a pet raccoon!!
So funny that if you listen to it in public you will look like that lunatic everyone is not so sure about cause you will be laughing out loud to the point of tears in your eyes.
A virgin takes care of her sisters sex you factory in a small country town (I won’t go into why the sister had to get away, I’ll save that for the book) and gets reacquainted with her high school heartbreak (who doesn’t know he broke her heart). Things come to a head when someone is sabotaging the factory. Add in a pet raccoon who loves chewing on the factory rubbish and gets into all sorts of fun and you have a recipe for a good book.

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Barbra Lazzarini
  • Barbra Lazzarini
  • 02-06-19

Brilliant 💕❤️💕

Who knew that a scene stealing raccoon would be the best part in this fabulous story ..he is and his name is George ..brilliant .. all the characters are beautiful and you too will fall in love with them .. definitely worth a listen..❤️💕❤️