Not at all what I expected

The overall story was okay and it had its funny moments, but somewhere along the way the story lost or never picked up something. I'm not sure which, it left a lot to be desired. I truly expected more and kept waiting and waiting but it never came. Like I said overall it was an okay book. The story ends up being more about avenging old debts and enemies. It also has some of the most cheesy lines you have ever heard. If you ever watched old, old black and white Dracula movies then you know exactly what I mean, but the writer wants you to believe this is happening in modern times. Can't have it both ways.

5 people found this helpful

God's Blood these vampires are elf-like

First impressions are everything and were I reading this instead of listening I still might be put off my a multitude of corny instances... but when you get a narrator who sounds like an elf (the Christmas kind) when they read guy voices, it's very off-putting. When vampires sound like they have had a puff or two of helium, it's hard to follow a book and take it seriously.

Now add in the fact that a series of ridiculous instances starts off the book, including a very strong vampire breaking a tooth off in the plastic of a sex toy and a dentist that's afraid of blood, and this amateur attempt of storytelling comes of as a sad attempt of entertainment. I don't mean to be harsh, but with all the vampire novels flooding the market you really have to bring your A game as an author, and having vampires that suck blood rough their teeth like a straw, and then having their teeth be easily breakable, you'd think that they would have a dentist handy. But no, the only dentist is available is a hot young human woman with no connections who happens to be running from the mafia. And the mafia shows up on her dental doorstep right as the vampire does - gasp - and at the sight of blood, she faints! - insert sighing-fainty noise - Of course the vampire, who only two minutes earlier hoped for a guy dentist because he was so horny and could not hold himself back in the presence of a woman, not only falls instantly for this rare woman who can evade his vampy mind-tricks, but he now feels the need to rescue her by stuffing her in the getaway car and making her duck her head in his lap as they make their escape.

Oh and he says "God's Blood" every other sentence.

I really wanted to give this book 1 star but I guess another can go with it for effort since the author seems to have written more in this series. I just felt the need to warn others that this is definitely not worth a credit. Read about Sookie Stackhouse or Jane Jameson instead.

38 people found this helpful

If Profanity is Called for, Please Use It

There were parts of the book I really enjoyed. But there were three issues that bugged me.

First, while I don't like books that have a bunch of unnecessary or unnaturally used profanity, when it makes sense and sounds natural, then use it. If I had to hear "God's Blood one more time I thought I would hurl my iPhone. Even a "Damn" would not have been amiss.

Next, I kept reading reviews about the book being funny. I didn't see much humor in the plot or the characters. The one obvious humorous reference was the trip to the dentist. And that wasn't cracking me up. Molly Harper does humorous vampires much funnier.

Finally, I didn't like the relationship between the heroine and her father. For some reason, that made me really uncomfortable.

16 people found this helpful

Bored and not romanced at all :(

What would have made How To Marry a Millionaire Vampire better?

A different narrator and getting the story going more quickly.

What could Kerrelyn Sparks have done to make this a more enjoyable book for you?

More romantic scenes, getting the back stories started earlier, and moving the story along more quickly.

How did the narrator detract from the book?

Her nasal, whiney voice for the scienitst was grating like nails on a chalkboard.

What character would you cut from How To Marry a Millionaire Vampire?

It wasn't any of the characters, it was the poor plot line and slow moving story.

5 people found this helpful

Not the worth book credits.

Is there anything you would change about this book?
Damn near everything. But if I to had to pick it would be the narrator and the plot.

What was your reaction to the ending? (No spoilers please!)
Haven't made it and am not sure I am going to.

What didn’t you like about Suzanne Cypress’s performance?
Her entire performance.

Could you see How To Marry a Millionaire Vampire being made into a movie or a TV series? Who should the stars be?
NO

Any additional comments?
I am not sure what else to say other then the author tried too hard. I just don't know if I hate it or not. I am honestly conflicted with my like or dislike for this book. I know I strongly dislike the narrator. But the plot is so very weak, but I am going to try to force myself to finish it. But I warn you it is not worth the credits.

4 people found this helpful

bought for the title, keeping for the story

Title sounded good, and the reviews too. Once I got into the story, it kept me going. Think I'll try book 2 of the series. Vampire owns a pharmacutical company that makes special flavored blood substitute products for vampires, and regular blood substitute products to save human lives. Intersting story.

4 people found this helpful

LOVED LOVED LOVED this book

Would you consider the audio edition of How To Marry a Millionaire Vampire to be better than the print version?

I never read the print version so I can't compare

What did you like best about this story?

Had me laughing from the first chapter on---and the love scenes WOW just WOW

What does Suzanne Cypress bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

I always think giving the characters a voice gives them more life. I didn't read the print version, but I think that in this case I will always chose the audio over print

Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

I found myself laughing on more than one occassion.

Any additional comments?

I really liked this book and have since put more titles from this author on my wish list.

4 people found this helpful

I REALLY LIKED THE LOVE AT STAKE SERIES

IM GOING TO HAVE TO SAY THE SAME THING FOR ALL THE LOVE AT STAKE BOOK IN THIS SERIES. ALL THE NARRATORS WERE REALLY GOOD. SOME BETTER THAN OTHERS BUT IT IS DEFINITLY WORTH BUYING OR USING YOUR CREDITS ON. JUST MAKE SURE YOU LISTEN THO THE BOOKS IN ORDER ACCORDING TO THE BOOK # OR THE RELEASE DATE. ONE OF THE BOOKS IS NOT PART OF THE SERIES BUT PLAYS AN IMPORTANT ROLE. AFTER BOOK 9 YOU WANT TO LISTEN TO VAMPIRE MINE.

19 people found this helpful

Human comes in many forms

A romance with a little blood & gore and of course sarcasm, what could be better.

This book by Kerrelyn Sparks was extremely enjoyable. The reader, Suzanne Cypress, did an outstanding job vocalizing both male & female characters.

The title intrigued me into purchasing the book but it definitely was not the over told story of the female hussy looking for Mr. Right with money. It was the story of humans in various manifestations both good & evil with the blooming of love, faith and hope.

3 people found this helpful

Love the Audio Book Experience

The "Love at Stake" series is one of my favorites and I have read every book through the current, in come cases, mulitple times. I enjoyed the audio book version of "How to Marry a Millionaire Vampire", and while the narration was not totally perfect, it was very good. For the most part I enjoyed how Ms. Cypress was able to vary the character voices and her treatment of the various accents of the characters. I particurly like how she captured the characters of Gregori and Laszlo.

5 people found this helpful