Credibility absolutely destroyed

I’ve been following Jeffrey on Instagram for a while. I adored their content and advocacy for non-binary folk. I too am non-binary.
I finally listened to their book and the story was delightful, except, they used ableist language a lot, it became very jarring, specifically the word ‘dumb’. I gave them some gentle and loving feedback by DM on Instagram having interacted with them there before. Their response was to block me.
I can’t tell you how shocked and disappointed I am at this level of fragility from someone advocating kindness and acceptance of each other and how to validate one another. This decision and utter disregard for the harm they are causing to some disabled folk has destroyed their credibility for me, even though they were such an important influence in my non-binary journey. I’m shook. I’m deeply hurt. We white queer and non-binary people cannot fight for our liberation and acceptance without being intersectional and also striving not to be racist or ableist. This decision is contrary to everything they are teaching us in this book and personally, I don’t preach what I cannot practice. I do not subscribe to cancel culture and in spite of the hurt caused to me, I still feel that Jeffrey contributes significantly to non-binary understanding, however, in the circumstances, I consider this review absolutely fair and measured. Jeffrey, if you read this, I hope one day that you see the harm caused and that you accept that you too have some learning to do and disabled people are worthy of validating in the same was as we non-binary people are. I’ll always be open to connecting again. With love and honesty.

4 people found this helpful

This book is everything

If you need a self help book this is the only one you’ll ever need
Jeffrey Marsh’s narrative ability is stunning.
His voice is soothing and reassuring
The stories he tells will make you smile to yourself.
You’ll find yourself nodding and shaking your head, laughing, shedding a tear... but most of all you’ll start to look at yourself differently
I will be revisiting this book over and over and I just know each time his words will resonate more.
I’ve just finished this on audiobook and I can’t wait to start it again!

2 people found this helpful

Love love LOVE IT!

Thank you Jeffrey for helping to guide me to a less judgmental, more accepting version of myself. I've been using this book in conjuction with therapy, I'm gunna be replaying this book a million times if I have to!

1 person found this helpful

A life changing book of understanding and empathy

I loved this book. I loved that Jeffrey Marsh narrated and his pain and self acceptance shone through. The last review left spoke of ablist language. I am disabled and found no derogatory language. This book is about trauma, recovery, self acceptance and the need for people to just leave people to be whomever they want.

How to be You

I first came across Jeffrey Marsh on tiktok, and I absolutely love their content, so when I saw they had a book I had to get it. I listened to 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 as an audiobook, and I highly recommend it to anyone who ever feels like they're not enough, or anyone who is doing 'inner child' work.
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𝘗𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘶𝘱 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘺 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘷𝘦𝘴, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘥𝘦𝘤𝘭𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳. 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘴𝘯'𝘵 𝘢 𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘭𝘦 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢 𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘦. 𝘐𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨. 𝘈𝘯 𝘰𝘯𝘨𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘤𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘤𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺.
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Amongst all the self-help books and content that is out there in the world, Jeffrey Marsh stands out to me. As someone who has gone through different therapy/counselling, and who has read lots of different self-help books (the majority of which I have taken at least something from), Marsh is unique. And the main reason is that they directly challenge the belief that the reader, or in my case the listener, holds about themselves: that we are in some way broken, and that we need to keep working on ourselves and reading books to improve ourselves because we somehow need fixing.
Instead, Jeffrey focuses on compassion, for ourselves and others, and on recognising that we are already enough, just as we are.
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𝘌𝘹𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘮𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘸 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘢 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘪𝘯𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦 - 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘳𝘦 - 𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘢𝘥, 𝘰𝘳 𝘶𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘩𝘺. 𝘛𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘸 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘢 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘢𝘤𝘤𝘦𝘱𝘵𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦.
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One thing I have been working on for a while is moving away from feelings of blame, or unnecessary anger that no longer serves me, in an effort to just be at peace with my emotions.
It's no good playing the blame game and letting anger eat you up inside, when most likely the person you're angry at doesn't truly know how you feel and are just continuing about their life as though there is nothing wrong.
Jeffrey Marsh articulates this so well for me, in a very realistic way. Compassion for ourselves and others can lead to forgiveness, and being able to let go of some of these feelings of being 'wronged'.
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𝘔𝘢𝘺𝘣𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘯 𝘥𝘳𝘢𝘨 𝘢𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘴 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳. 𝘉𝘶𝘵, 𝘰𝘧 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦, 𝘸𝘦'𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘥𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘣𝘦𝘴𝘵.
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Through sharing their own experiences, Jeffrey encourages the reader to focus somewhat internally, and to focus on what they can control. Some things are not in our power to change, but we also need to recognise that those things are most likely unimportant.
I've not heard anyone express how little the opinions of other people matter in such a good way before. Self-love and self-acceptance, which Marsh advocates for, can help us move away from caring about the irrelevant opinions of others.
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𝘖𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦'𝘴 𝘰𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘯'𝘵 𝘣𝘢𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘶𝘯𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘦.
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Marsh also tackles the toxic positivity culture. This is something that I've seen in my own life first hand, mostly with male role models in my life.
In these experiences for me personally, I've seen toxic positivity as an extension of toxic masculinity: namely, men who cannot talk genuinely about anything emotional below a surface level; as though they almost can't admit to themselves how they feels, because boys don't cry, and so in trying to suppress their own emotions they inadvertently suppresses the emotions of those around them too.
And this actually makes me feel really sad for them, and for my younger self, and for anyone who isn't able to be honest in expressing how they really feel.
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𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘢 𝘬𝘪𝘥, 𝘐 𝘧𝘦𝘭𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴𝘯'𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘥. 𝘖𝘧 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦, 𝘐 𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘴𝘢𝘥 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘸𝘢𝘺, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘪𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴𝘯'𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘪𝘵 𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘦.
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Some of the things Jeffrey says or highlights can feel like something I should already know or intuit, but Marsh phrases it in such a way that I've never thought about it from that perspective before.
Most self-help and psychology books I've read have focussed on the topic from a very clinical perspective, or from a perspective of reflecting on what's happened in your life that has led to certain patterns of behaviour and certain thoughts that may not be the 'healthiest'.
Before listening to Jeffrey Marsh though, I don't think I'd ever felt so much genuine compassion from someone in this field.
In order to live a happy and fulfilled life, we don't need to view ourselves as needing improvement, or not good enough, because of false narratives people have fed us. We are enough just the way we are, and we each bring something unique to the world.
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𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘳𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘣𝘪𝘨 𝘤𝘭𝘶𝘦 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘢𝘳𝘦.
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No matter how old I get, I do sometimes still feel like a young person playing at being an adult. And when peers or people older than me care so intensely about things that really shouldn't matter (like some false sense of dominance in the workplace), it baffles me.
I think Jeffrey Marsh's book will encourage many readers of all ages to feel more confident in embracing who they are at their core, and in seeking out things that align with their values, rather than what they are told they should value.
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𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘭, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘨𝘰𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘨𝘪𝘤 𝘪𝘯𝘧𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘰𝘳 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘯'𝘵, 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘣𝘶𝘺 𝘪𝘵.
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I definitely recommend Jeffrey Marsh's book to all readers, and highly recommend following their content on social media. Jeffrey's videos are a great source of comfort to many, and if you read How To Be You, I hope you find comfort from it to.
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𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘥𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘨𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦. 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘥𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘳𝘦. 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘶𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦. 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘵. 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘰𝘳 𝘦𝘹𝘤𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦. 𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘢 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘶𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘢 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥. 𝘓𝘦𝘵'𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘣𝘰𝘵𝘩 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘦.

Very soothing

I found Jeffrey via TikTok and was immediately captivated. I really enjoyed listening to his story and words of wisdom.

Amazing

This is a great book to listen to to help yourself understand and be kinder to yourself to be better for all, Jeffrey has become an important part of my self-care.

everyone young and old needs to read this book

I found Jeffery randomly via his Instagram and was hooked by their kind voice and real and touching messages that seemed to really be talking to me personally. Their book does exactly the same, they talk to the listener or reader personally and you believe their words as you knowh they have felt everything we all feel.
The pacing is wonderful. It has just enough of their own story for you to understand how and why they know how hard life can be and there is so much insightful wisdom and understanding there. its like a warm hug from Jeffrey in each chapter with tools and exercises that are helpful and rewarding. it's a great listen and I know I will listen again and again when I need to.

this is for everyone

This book is categorized here under "teens and young adults" but this is really self-love lessons for everyone. I'm almost 40 and have enjoyed it allot. Thanks Jeffrey!

Thank you, Jeffrey

Jeffrey has things to Say and it's up to us to Listen. So glad to have found them