• How to Raise Kids Who Aren't Assholes

  • Science-Based Strategies for Better Parenting - from Tots to Teens
  • By: Melinda Wenner Moyer
  • Narrated by: Melinda Wenner Moyer
  • Length: 8 hrs and 16 mins
  • 4.3 out of 5 stars (150 ratings)

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How to Raise Kids Who Aren't Assholes

By: Melinda Wenner Moyer
Narrated by: Melinda Wenner Moyer
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Publisher's Summary

How to Raise Kids Who Aren't Assholes is a clear, actionable, sometimes humorous (but always science-based) guide for parents on how to shape their kids into honest, kind, generous, confident, independent, and resilient people...who just might save the world one day.

As an award-winning science journalist, Melinda Wenner Moyer was regularly asked to investigate and address all kinds of parenting questions: how to potty train, when and whether to get vaccines, and how to help kids sleep through the night. But as Melinda's children grew, she found that one huge area was ignored in the realm of parenting advice: How do we make sure our kids don't grow up to be assholes?

On social media, in the news, and from the highest levels of government, kids are increasingly getting the message that being selfish, obnoxious, and cruel is okay. Hate crimes among children and teens are rising, while compassion among teens has been dropping. We know, of course, that young people have the capacity for great empathy, resilience, and action, and we all want to bring up kids who will help build a better tomorrow. But how do we actually do this? How do we raise children who are kind, considerate, and ethical inside and outside the home, who will grow into adults committed to making the world a better place?

How to Raise Kids Who Aren't Assholes is a deeply researched, evidence-based primer that provides a fresh, often surprising perspective on parenting issues, from toddlerhood through the teenage years. First, Melinda outlines the traits we want our children to possess - including honesty, generosity, and antiracism - and then she provides scientifically based strategies that will help parents instill those characteristics in their kids. Learn how to raise the kind of kids you actually want to hang out with - and who just might save the world.

©2021 Melinda Wenner Moyer (P)2021 Penguin Audio

Critic Reviews

“This science-based, funny, easy-to-use guidebook with specific strategies to help parents raise great kids should be on everyone's list.” (Zibby Owens, Good Morning America)

“In her new book How to Raise Kids Who Aren't A**holes: Science-Based Strategies for Better Parenting - from Tots to Teens, science journalist Melinda Wenner Moyer…looks at research on gunplay, screen time, shyness, resilience and more, helping parents effectively send the message that kindness matters.” (CNN.com)

“I can’t think of a more important life lesson than ‘don’t be an asshole’. Unfortunately, many kids don’t learn it - because many parents fail to teach it. Thanks to this book, they no longer have an excuse. It’s a smart, engaging, honest, and surprisingly useful read about how to nurture decency and generosity.” (Adam Grant, number one New York Times best-selling author of Thing Again)
 

What listeners say about How to Raise Kids Who Aren't Assholes

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    5 out of 5 stars

Outstanding, research-based parenting book.

At first I was very concerned because the ratings were low, but then I read through the reviews. It seemed as though the some reviewers comments fit right into why she wrote the book, I.e. focusing on skin color doesn’t matter verse the research in the book stating how bad that type of mindset is.

As I said to my friends, if you’re a progressive-thinking, science believing, supporter of equitable equality, then you will find this book extremely helpful. But if you believe that Joe Biden isn’t the actual president or that January 6 was a peaceful protest, this book isn’t for your mindset.

6 people found this helpful

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Slightly us-centric, but very well reasoned

Basing the intro in the political assholery in the US gives a good frame of reference for those of us that follow that particular dumpster fire, but it end up being a distraction for those that don't, which is permitted when not living in the US.

I fear that adherents of industrialized callousness will be turned off by calling out cheeto Mussolini, so perhaps an easy-to-read edition without those passages would be helpful?

Anyway we enjoyed the book and it seems the points being made are indeed based in reality.

3 people found this helpful

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Terrible!

If you are a republican and love your country, you are the "asshole" she refers to in the title. Not at all what I expected. VERY disappointing.

2 people found this helpful

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Waste of an audible credit

I thought it would be an interesting read based on facts and statistics. Instead it is just the author pushing their beliefs and agenda and displaying statistics in a very bias way to support their beliefs. I couldn’t even finish the book. It all just annoyed me. Blames everything on elections and race.

2 people found this helpful

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This is perpetuate what is wrong with America

Mad I wasted my credit in this. It encourages critical race theory and blames all ass holes on the 2016 election.

2 people found this helpful

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More a book about politics than raising kids

I am a little disappointed by this book. Many parents are interested in raising their kids to be kind, and the self-proclaimed scientific view used in the book seemed promising at first. However, at various points throughout this book, the author seems to confuse it with how to successfully impose your personal perspective of "kindness" onto kids. The author feels the need to bring today's polarized political landscape to families' living rooms, and use social psychological theories selectively to argue for imposing political correctness. At times, the book seems more about politics in general than about raising kids. Although many readers may be interested in that (especially in the States), I was hoping to learn more about what role parents can play in helping kids discover what kindness means for them.

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Best parenting book I have found yet.

I loved how everything was broken down and especially loved the last 5 chapters. What really spoke to me was the section on discipline and I love all the studies that are backing the content of this book. Is a great deal of research and work went into the making of this this book. Truly appreciate it

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hidden agenda

This is a book about politics and has a hidden agenda. The title is deceiving. Didn't make it past the 2nd chapter.

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Want a refund

First off let me say, I am an immigrant, a, and a woman. I purchased this book as a tool to learn parenting skills for my 8 year old. The book consisted of 5% parenting tools and 95% talking about racism, white supremacy, and how ALL white people are racist. I feel like I was completely bait and switched to listening to a persuasion seminar. I even listened for a few hours hoping it would switch gears and divert back to the topic advertised. Save your credit, save your time, and your brain cells. Terrible. Do not recommend.

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Too political and not insightful

First off - its very anti Trump right off the rip. Personally, I don't care about that, but would have liked to know there were strong political views prior to purchasing it. Are there some Trump supporter whi are huge bullies? For sure. there are bullies everywhere you look. Blaming it on the president is a really weird way to start a parenting book. There is some decent information in here, but it's mostly common sense with very juvenile insight at best. For example, it brings up a study I learned about in a basic psychology class in community College which shows children who witness violence are more likely to be violent. Most parents who are seeking out parenting books like this understand you shouldn't beat people and that we need to lead by example. I found myself zoning out during this because literally no new knowledge or ideas were being brought to the table. if you're a NEW parent, this may be a good book to cover the basic, common sense things that are good to keep in mind. I have older children, so at this point I have been there, learned that. I was hoping for more specific advice and more insight and new ideas. One thing I learned is that apparently kids speaking with an accent is considered racist? That doesn't add up to me. If you're mocking another race, totally wrong. Simply using a different accent? Not racist.