• I Never Thought of It That Way

  • How to Have Fearlessly Curious Conversations in Dangerously Divided Times
  • By: Mónica Guzmán
  • Narrated by: Mónica Guzmán
  • Length: 8 hrs and 47 mins
  • 4.7 out of 5 stars (58 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

We think we have the answers, but we need to be asking a lot more questions.

Journalist Mónica Guzmán is the loving liberal daughter of Mexican immigrants who voted - twice - for Donald Trump. When the country could no longer see straight across the political divide, Mónica set out to find what was blinding us and discovered the most eye-opening tool we’re not using: our own built-in curiosity.  

Partisanship is up, trust is down, and our social media feeds make us sure we’re right and everyone else is ignorant (or worse). But avoiding one another is hurting our relationships and our society.

In this timely, personal guide, Mónica, the chief storyteller for the national cross-partisan depolarization organization Braver Angels, takes you to the real front lines of a crisis that threatens to grind America to a halt - broken conversations among confounded people. She shows you how to overcome the fear and certainty that surround us to finally do what only seems impossible: understand and even learn from people in your life whose whole worldview is different from or even opposed to yours.  

Drawing from cross-partisan conversations she’s had, organized, or witnessed everywhere from the echo chambers on social media to the wheat fields in Oregon to raw, unfiltered fights with her own family on election night, Mónica shows how you can put your natural sense of wonder to work for you immediately, finding the answers you need by talking with people - rather than about them - and asking the questions you want, curiously.  

Here, you’ll learn: 

  • How to ask what you really want to know (even if you’re afraid to)
  • How to grow smarter from even the most tense interactions, online or off
  • How to cross boundaries and find common ground - with anyone 

Whether you’re left, right, center, or not a fan of labels: If you’re ready to fight back against the confusion, heartbreak, and madness of our dangerously divided times - in your own life, at least - Mónica’s got the tools and fresh, surprising insights to prove that seeing where people are coming from isn’t just possible. It’s easier than you think.

©2022 Mónica Guzmán (P)2022 BenBella Books

What listeners say about I Never Thought of It That Way

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Great read!

I really enjoyed the book. it definitely helped me think about things differently. Great discussion and thoughts. i loved the exampkes and can defintiely see myself rereading. Great stuff

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Helpful book for our polarization crisis

I give this book five stars because the United States doesn’t feel so united these days and this book offers helpful tools to bridge the political divide. Doing so helps us to maintain, strengthen, and repair our existing relationships and to form new ones with people who have walked different paths and have different values and perspectives. Guzmán calls polarization “the monster that convinces us that we are the monsters” and she provides an explanation of how we have gotten where we are and lots of road-tested ideas for talking to folks we disagree with. Guzmán is left of the political center, but she is very close with her parents, who are on the right. My favorite section of the book is the one about values, how we all have them and how their relative order of importance is behind our different views. By the way, if you are interested in this important work, check out Braver Angels, the largest organization of people on opposite sides of the political divide working to depolarize the country.

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Not my type of book

I had to read this for back to school and it isnt my type of book.

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A Wonderful Guide to Reclaim Curiosity

Being in a similar family situation to the author, I was very intrigued by the idea of this book. The past six years had put a huge strain on my relationship with my beloved sister, who holds very different political ideals and had been quite vocal about her views on social media. This book reminded me that the world is not nearly as black and white as the media would have us believe. The author’s suggestions on how to check our assumptions and withhold judgment made a big impression on me. And her advice on how to ask bridging questions and REALLY listen to their answers is priceless. I will be giving a copy of this wonderful book to my sister and sharing it with my friends, especially those who are actively engaged in politics.

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Actionable and enjoyable!

This book is exactly what I had hoped for between the facinating studies referenced, entertaining stories shared, and the actionable tips for having more curious conversations! I'll definitely be gladly listening to this a couple more times as I work on implementing its lessons.

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Wonderfully written and thought provoking

Honesty, curiosity, and respect - three words that will help us bridge divides and help understand each other. Highly recommend this book for anyone - full of good stories, thoughtful questions, and great advice on how to have bridging conversations with people who see the world differently from you. The audio book version is excellent - read by the author herself who is clear and passionate in her delivery.

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Enlightened

As I struggle with friendships that I've had for a lifetime and the feeling of wanting to end them over politics and politicians, this book came into my life at the perfect time. I hope that what I have learned here can help me build bridges and melt mountains.
Thank you!

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Fantastic and Timely

The author does a great job explaining practical ways to communicate by coming from a place of learning. I'll be listening a second time. This time, though, with a pen and notepad.

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Great book

I loved this book. It was required for my English class but I have suggested it to many people sense I have started reading it. It will open your mind in a way you would never expect. It will teach you how to listen and how to engage with others to be heard.

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Brilliant, relevant and a must read

Anyone stymied by our destructive political divide should read or listen to this incisive and thoughtful book. It should be required reading for politicians. Guzmán's grasp of, and appreciation for, the nuance and complexities of human nature, and her stalwart insistence that we look beyond our need to be right and to win, to look to each person's reasoning with respect, .. well, it is purely compelling. Thank you, Ms. Guzmán.