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Publisher's Summary

INTERNATIONAL BESTSELLER

A fresh, hilarious, and relatable collection of essays about everything from motherhood and marriage to sobriety and work-life balance (or imbalance) from the nationally bestselling author of the “honest, complicated” (SheKnows) Idiot.

TRIGGER WARNING: TORN EVERYTHING!

In her first book, Idiot, bestselling author Laura Clery gave us mind-blowingly personal life stories about addiction, toxic relationships, and recovery—establishing herself as the preeminent voice of infinite conviction meets zero impulse control. Here she is two kids later asking, “How did we get here?” Sex. Sex is how we got here.

Laura’s life has changed a great deal since she wrote Idiot, but her hilarious candor has only increased with motherhood—plus she tells some of the stories she was too scared to tell in her first book (which is really saying something). In Idiots, Laura shares more than anyone ever asked for about:

  • Mucus plugs, vacuum extraction, and adult diapers
  • Dousing doulas, VagTime, and pelvic organ prolapse
  • Vaginismus, laxative overdose, and accidental lactivism
  • Placenta pills, mom brain, and vibrator manifestation
  • Nipple-twisting orgies and flinging a butt burrito in your doctor’s face
  • ADHD, autism, postpartum depression, and the wisdom of a ninety-eight-year-old sage named Anne
  • Unsolicited dick, sexual assault, and sister-drugging
  • Stephen’s cheating, Laura’s cheating, fights, and forgiveness
  • Choosing love over fear and healing the world 

Laura does not hold back when it comes to sharing stories of screw-ups, triumphs, and learning from her mistakes. Whether she’s crying into a diaper in a Whole Foods parking lot or desperately soliciting advice from a random elderly stranger (who has most certainly considered a restraining order), Laura is able to laugh at herself even during her worst moments—more important, she makes us laugh, cry, and feel less alone in the world.

©2022 Idiots, Inc. All rights reserved (P)2022 Simon & Schuster, Inc. All rights reserved

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Full of misinformation on natural birth, perpetuates negative birth stigma, very off putting

This book dangerously and inaccurately paints midwives as crystal and astrology obsessed quacks. Just because the one Laura Clery was working with might have been, doesn’t mean every midwife is. Just like though thousands of doctors are sued for medical malpractice a year doesn’t mean every doctor is bad. She only watched ONE documentary on home birth and interviewed ONE midwife and based her entire birth plan around that?? That sounds very impulsive. And when she realized her midwife was lacking she didn’t look into any others and just jumped ship to an OBGYN and wrote a book that opens by slamming all of midwifery, perpetuating an unfortunate and inaccurate stereotype that so many highly trained qualified midwives have to constantly fight against. What awful propaganda this annoying book is. She perpetuated the unreasonable fear and stigma surrounding natural birth. Really surprising and disappointing. There is a war on natural birth in our country, which has the lowest homebirth midwifery rate of the developed world, and also the HIGHEST INFANT MORTALITY RATE in the western world and one of the highest c-section rates. Statistically, for normal low-risk pregnancies, home births are the safest option and babies born at home under the care of a qualified midwife have higher APGAR scores than hospital born babies. Any standard midwife brings a ton of modern medical equipment to a birth, including oxygen tanks, pitocin in case of hemorrhage, fetal monitors, etc. OBGYN’s in the US are not taught natural birth at all, nowhere in there approved texts for learning is the term “natural birth” even mentioned. They are SURGEONS whose profession was created to deal with HIGH RISK abnormal births and anomalies (and thank god we have them for the statistically very rare instances when a medical intervention in an abnormal birth is necessary). And yet, in the US, the vast majority of normal low risk pregnant people go to a surgical specialist for their normal birth, when the OBGYN is not trained in and actually has little experience with natural birth. In many European countries including Holland, an OBGYN has to train in NATURAL BIRTH for a year by interning under an experienced midwife before they learn how to deal with abnormal birth. In the US, unnecessary interventions are given on a regular basis in hospitals that interfere with the natural hormonal flow of birth and leave many mothers and babies with birth trauma because those are the tools and skills the OBGYN’s know. There is a domino effect, when you introduce one unnecessary intervention, it causes symptoms and risks that require another, until things are so thrown off you need a vacuum extraction or C-section. They put ridiculous time limits on a natural physiological process in hospitals. They love inducing labor. These interferences cause major stress on newborns setting them up to have their first impression of life be that it is something to distrust. There are SO many books with sobering facts and statistics on the scientific benefits of natural birth (like getting an added third of their own blood by delayed cord clamping, better breastfeeding skills early on, far stronger immune systems from receiving the microbiome of a vagina birth and the environment of the hole rather than a disease ridden hospital, etc.)

Far better books to read up on the topic of home birth and midwifery than this opinionated and non-evidence based smear campaign are:

Natural Childbirth: The Bradley Method
Spiritual Midwifery
Ina May’s Guide to Natural Childbirth
Birthing from Within
Hypnobirthing: The Mongan Method

Great and informative EVIDENCE BASED documentaries:

Birth Story: Ina May Gaskin and the Farm Midwives
What Babies Want (narrated by Noah Wiley, free on YouTube)
The Secret Life of Babies (full of scientific studies of babies in utero and after bjrth)
Orgasmic Birth
Business of Being Born (which I’d place at the bottom of this list)

Natural birth is becoming a lost art in this country, and thank god for midwives keeping this knowledge alive. But many states make hike birth illegal, and many insurance companies don’t cover the more affordable midwifery care because of their ties to hospitals and the corrupt business aspect of all of this. Fear-mongering, misinformation and negative propaganda only makes it worse, preventing many healthy low risk women from even having to option to birth where and with whom they feel safest. Shame on this author for adding to the misinformation. I was such a fan and was shocked by this opening. Couldn’t stomach listening to the rest of the book.

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Tears and laughs!!

Absolutely love you and your family and your minds!! I'm obsessed with Anne now lol thank you for your honesty and for sharing!

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I love you !!!

An amazing raw story, yeah she swears and racks herself and ppl around her! But if you have a problem with! Read something else ;)

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Real, Raw and Relatable

Thank you for this! If you need someone who is honest about things like north, motherhood, marriage, self image struggles, encourage others to listen to this! Loved this so much!!

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And another one

Another amazing book by Laura. So inspiring and amazing read. I will wait for a third book.

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Am I Talking to a Book?

While Laura told her story,
and she is a consummate storyteller, Hearing her story, in her own voice, was so easy to listen to; charming, funny, vulnerable, emotional; thoughtful and though-provoking. I often responded to her — as if she could hear me. Sometimes I would pause the audio, so I could more fully elaborate my input. She’s not just a “wise ass” but a woman is is working on herself and gaining wisdom — which she shares — along the way. Even if you don’t follow her many blogs,this is a wonderful story of the many trials and joys experienced by women; by mothers. I loved listening to her book, in her voice. Thanks Laura! Keep ‘‘em coming! (the books, I mean…)

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love!❤️

I loved the first book and this was even better. Now to listen to the first one again!

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I learned more about my own kid with Ad/hd

My kid is 17, wish I read this when he was 2. Funny, informative & honest. Love Lauras clips & now both her books. Down to Earth!

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Love it! So honest

I could relate to many of the mom things ! Thanks for keeping it real. Lots of laughter! I’m proud of the author for over coming so many challenges.

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Great quick listen!

Laura Clery is a great storyteller and even as someone with no kids I still found listening this book super enjoyable and fun. I’ll listen to anything she writes haha.