• If You Didn't Bring Jerky, What Did I Just Eat?

  • Misadventures in Hunting, Fishing, and the Wilds of Suburbia
  • By: Bill Heavey
  • Narrated by: Ian Patrick Williams
  • Length: 6 hrs and 46 mins
  • 4.6 out of 5 stars (394 ratings)

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If You Didn't Bring Jerky, What Did I Just Eat?  By  cover art

If You Didn't Bring Jerky, What Did I Just Eat?

By: Bill Heavey
Narrated by: Ian Patrick Williams
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Publisher's Summary

Whether he is accidentally cooking his brain with hand warmers or yanking his lure away from a trophy fish just before it takes the bait, Bill Heavey can do no right. For almost a decade, he has chronicled his incompetence on the back page of Field & Stream, where his hilarious dispatches about life as a hapless outdoorsman who lives in suburbia have earned him legions of fans.

But Heavey is more than a humorist. The stories in this book range from amusing tales of a modern dad struggling to navigate the finer points of parenting and married life to longer and more serious narratives that involve travel, adventure, and tragedy. No matter what he's writing about, Heavey is a master of blending humor and pathos - and wide-ranging outdoor enthusiasms - into a poignant and potent stew.

©2007 Bill Heavey. Foreword copyright 2007 by David E. Petzal. Originally published by arrangement with Field & Stream magazine,in which the book’s pieces originally appeared. Recorded by arrangement with Grove Atlantic, Inc. (P)2014 Audible Inc.

What listeners say about If You Didn't Bring Jerky, What Did I Just Eat?

Average Customer Ratings
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Great book

I listened to this with my wife, who doesn’t hunt. She really enjoyed it and said that this has made her understand my hunting and outdoors obsession more than anything else.

4 people found this helpful

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Parts were funny, others not so much

There were parts of this book that were hilarious, others not so much. I think I was expecting more of a Patrick E McManus flair where you can really visualize the story. So again it was funny but not laugh out loud, tears running down your face funny.

4 people found this helpful

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Funny because you can relate!

If you have ever hunted or fished in your life, you can relate to his stories. He is funny because he always pokes fun at himself.

3 people found this helpful

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Beware the twist

the only reason I didnt finish the book in one sitting is that the author has this tendency to go from belly laughs, and pensive passages, to topics that hit home a little bit harder. I am facing my father's slow death, and I found that this book drew out emotions that I have been avoiding.

2 people found this helpful

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Every Man’s Tales

Bill Heavey is a masterful story teller! Although I’ll probably never go to most of the places he’s been able to go. We share “the woods” and it’s special grandeur! From belly laughs to Kleenex, it’s a great read!

1 person found this helpful

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Worth every penny!

great mix of short stories perfect for when you have a few minutes to spare. if you have ever hunted or fished, you will have a sudden appreciation for the book, accommodations with unmistakable urge to return to the outdoors.

1 person found this helpful

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The legendary Bill Heavey

I had heard Bill Heavey mentioned on meat eater podcast so when I came across the audiobook I jumped at it. It was a million times better than I thought it would be. Funny, heartfelt and reminds you why we hunt. Can’t wait to listen to more. Makes my work days fly by.

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Relatable, entertaining, astute self-depreciation.

As a 40 year old novice hunter, but life long fisherman, this hit home perfectly. I arrived in the Bahamas yesterday ready to blow a good amount of money to try bonefishing. After reading the Bonehead short, I'm going to try something else.

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Loved this book!

Bill Heavey knows how to find stories just waiting to be told. Mostly they are hilarious, though once or twice the tale he tells is universal and touching. Ian Patrick Williams is a fantastic narrator, bringing it all to life. He’s not reading, he’s sitting across from you in the family room, kicked back in the recliner, telling you about the one that got away. And you grin the whole time- except when you are laughing out loud.

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Great listen for outdoors men.

This was humorous and I am not even an avid sportsmen. Really loved this narrator, clear and easy to listen to. If you, or someone you love, likes to hunt, you'll enjoy this one