• Insecure in Love

  • Insecurity Undermines Your Relationship? Are Anxious Attachment and Jealousy Stronger than Your Love? Take Care of Insecurity and Return to a Healthy Relationship
  • By: Leslie Attached
  • Narrated by: Richard E. McCarthy
  • Length: 3 hrs and 13 mins
  • 4.8 out of 5 stars (29 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

When people first get into a relationship, the early days are nothing short of magic, and the lovers are all over each other, staring at one another with wistful eyes, and they have not a grain of doubt that they have finally met “the one”!

But then, months (or years) later, where there was stomach butterflies upon seeing each other, there’s an understated loathe and distrust, and maybe, one or both partners are no longer excited about having sex.

What happened?

Maybe, they think they look ghastly. Maybe, they are jealous about their partner getting close with their workmate. Maybe, they feel inadequate. These are major signs that the partner is trapped in the jaws of insecurities. If they don’t act fast enough to rid themselves of these insecurities, the love they once had for their partner will water down, and soon enough, their relationship will be tossed into the bottomless pit of failed relationships. 

If they are the type of lovers with a high threshold for pain, then they're in for a long and bumpy roller-coaster ride of negative emotions.The biggest sign that someone is insecure is a tendency to cling onto their partner.

This means that they will start following their partner around, never wanting to be separated, and when their partner is out there trying to get a life, the insecure person will take every opportunity to try to contact them. They are basically afraid of losing their partner. They will reach for their phone and text them, video call them, and send funny images and videos to them. The insecure person will expect their partner to respond promptly because any delay can cause them tremendous emotional pain. You would think that having someone chasing you everywhere makes you like them even more; but the opposite is true.

When a person acts insecure in love, their partner becomes frustrated, and in the beginning, they cannot make it obvious, but as the insecure person escalates their clingy behavior, their partner subtly starts to evade them, but then, it reaches a point and they become exhausted and they send out a strong and clear message: I hate what you are doing! At this point, the insecure person will literally be acting like a slave. Except, in this case, they have not been forced into that situation. 

Insecurity is caused mainly by a terribly low self-esteem. In order to overcome insecurities, you have to confront the deep-seated issues that have pulled your self-esteem down, and you have to work on building your self-esteem.

It is also important to increase your emotional intelligence and self-awareness so that you may understand the connection between your thoughts and actions.The more you understand yourself, the easier it becomes to overcome your low self-esteem and become a suitable partner.

This book looks into the subject of insecurities in relationships and helps you to understand how they play out and what you must do to overcome them. The actionable tips will help you become not just a great partner but a great person, in general.

©2019 Leslie Attached (P)2020 Leslie Attached

What listeners say about Insecure in Love

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Misogynistic and juvenile

If you have even an ounce of emotional intelligence, this is not for you. If you are more than a couple years into a relationship, consider yourself a well rounded adult, and/or you’re looking for advice that is detailed, beyond the obvious, and/or not based in Christian ideals of the roles men and women “should” play…. Just don’t. I got halfway through and had to throw in the towel because I felt so patronized. Oof. What a waste of time.

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nothing new

struggled to listen to the narrator. his voice was not right for this subject matter. also,not very engaging

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Helped me identify

I looked forward to reading this book until finished . I allowed me to identify the habits in my life and incurites

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Woah!

Ok.... if you came across this book because you’re needing some help with developing a sound mind for your relationship.. this book will help you. I was reading it with my mouth open thinking.. omg I’m not just crazy/emotional/confused... there’s a reason and there’s a way out. The Bible and this book has saved my way of thinking. When I get that feeling in my chest.. you know that feeling.. I am able to stop and remember that the way I’m feeling is just a learned reaction.. that I’m actually NOT going to lose everything I love.. that he ACTUALLY means well and that I’m over thinking. The main thing I have gotten from this book is developing my sense of self worth and to stop reacting and listening to the fears I think of.

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She gets it.

If you were granted access to my Amazon purchase history you would numerous self-help books. This is probably one of the best if not the best I've ever read. If you have been a shy, insecure person you need to read this book. She'll explain to you how you got that way which is part of the healing process. There are also tons of exercises to help you bring change into your life. It's not magic - it takes work on your part. The tools are there when you are ready for change.

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Life Changing Book

After a dating coach taught me a little about attachment theory (and many failed romantic relationships where the men were either abusive, addicted, or non-commital), I picked up this book along with Attached (Levine). I was in yet another unsatisfying relationship with a man I loved but who was unable to commit. I frequently found myself feeling jealous and needy despite my partner's verbal reassurance; I hated the way this made me act and feel, and I wanted to make things easier on him. Reading this helped me really delve into the heart of the scripts I tell myself about my own worthiness for love and whether I can depend on or trust a partner. It helped me understand better how to unwind my own anxiety and to communicate my needs to my partner. I told him I needed periodic reassurance, small check-ins where I knew he was thinking of me, that I needed more quality time together, my need to hear him say he wanted to see me, and my need to have plans in the future together (even if it was a week away). To my surprise, he stepped up and actually did these things, and it really helped! When we weren't together, I used the techniques in this book to calm my own anxiety. It greatly, GREATLY increased my relationship satisfaction and closeness to my partner and vice versa.

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Highly Recommended

These book is really good and easy to understand each and every topics . very clear and briefly described each of the single topics . There are lot's of related book here . but i think so that this is best book . Thanks to author for giving us wonderful book .

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Woah!

Ok.... if you came across this book because you’re needing some help with developing a sound mind for your relationship.. this book will help you. The Bible and this book has saved my way of thinking. When I get that feeling in my chest.. you know that feeling.. I am able to stop and remember that the way I’m feeling is just a learned reaction.. that I’m actually NOT going to lose everything I love.. that he ACTUALLY means well and that I’m over thinking.

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Encouraging

I would recommend this book to those struggling with anxiety and attachments. The exercises are helpful and some are easy to remember. There is good insight and helpful information. The most important tool I took from this book is identifying my attachment and working on a different perspective. The personality test provided helped a lot too.

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I would definitely recommend it if you're the need

This book helped me make major changes and stop sabotaging my romantic relationships. I would definitely recommend it if you're the needy, clingy, or jealous type and would like to change that. Thanks to author for giving us a wonderful book.

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  • Thomas
  • 05-25-20

Lack of understanding

The author used poor language and lack understanding of the science of relationships. This is a poor book with bad advice.