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Kill the Farm Boy  By  cover art

Kill the Farm Boy

By: Kevin Hearne,Delilah S. Dawson
Narrated by: Luke Daniels
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Publisher's Summary

In an irreverent series in the tradition of Monty Python, the best-selling authors of the Iron Druid Chronicles and Star Wars: Phasma reinvent fantasy, fairy tales, and floridly written feast scenes.

"Ranks among the best of Christopher Moore and Terry Pratchett." (Chuck Wendig)

"When you put two authors of this high caliber together, expect fireworks. Or at least laughs. What a hoot!" (Terry Brooks)

Once upon a time, in a faraway kingdom, a hero, the Chosen One, was born...and so begins every fairy tale ever told. This is not that fairy tale. There is a Chosen One, but he is unlike any One who has ever been Chosened. And there is a faraway kingdom, but you have never been to a magical world quite like the land of Pell. There, a plucky farm boy will find more than he's bargained for on his quest to awaken the sleeping princess in her cursed tower. 

First there's the Dark Lord, who wishes for the boy's untimely death...and also very fine cheese. Then there's a bard without a song in her heart but with a very adorable and fuzzy tail, an assassin who fears not the night but is terrified of chickens, and a mighty fighter more frightened of her sword than of her chain-mail bikini. This journey will lead to sinister umlauts, a trash-talking goat, the Dread Necromancer Steve, and a strange and wondrous journey to the most peculiar "happily ever after" that ever once-upon-a-timed. 

Praise for Kill the Farm Boy:

"A rollicking fantasy adventure that upends numerous genre tropes in audacious style...a laugh-out-loud-funny fusion of Monty Python-esque humor and whimsy a la Terry Pratchett's Discworld." (Kirkus Reviews)

“Dawson and Hearne’s reimagining of a traditional fairy tale is reminiscent of William Goldman’s The Princess Bride and William Steig’s Shrek! Irreverent, funny, and full of entertaining wordplay, this will keep readers guessing until the end.” (Library Journal)

"Will have you laughing out loud until strangers begin to look at you oddly." (SyFy)

"A smart comedy...nuanced, complicated, and human." (Tordotcom)

"[Delilah Dawson and Kevin Hearne] make fun of the typical 'white male power fantasies,' and in that, they succeed, with their heroes all characters of color and/or falling somewhere under the LGBTQ umbrella." (Publishers Weekly)  

©2018 Kevin Hearne and Delilah S. Dawson (P)2018 Random House Audio

Critic Reviews

"When you put two authors of this high caliber together, expect fireworks. Or at least laughs. What a hoot!" (New York Times bestselling author Terry Brooks)

"Delilah S. Dawson and Kevin Hearne have rigged up an absurdly funny fantasy riff on the Chosen One story, and it had me laughing from literally the name of the first chapter Kill the Farm Boy ranks among the best of Christopher Moore and Terry Pratchett and is not to be missed." (Chuck Wendig)

Editorial Review

But first, let us appreciate this tag line

Once. A pun. A time.

As one who unabashedly flocks to any story with even a whiff of eau de chosen one, my bookish senses were tingling as soon as I heard Kill the Farm Boy would be the one chosen one story to rule them all (and make fun of them all). Add to that the fact that it’s written by Kevin Hearne and Delilah S. Dawson—and narrated by Luke Daniels—and this book catapulted to the top of my list of summer listens I’m hyped about. Here it is: imagine The Princess Bride if Westley never met Buttercup, and if maybe he ran into Donkey from Shrek instead. There are shenanigans and adventures to be had in equal amounts, and all in all, it’s riddikulus. —Melissa B., Audible Editor

What listeners say about Kill the Farm Boy

Average Customer Ratings
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  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars

Disappointing

I love the Iron Druid series and eagerly anticipated Kill the Farmboy . Maybe it was too much anticipation but this latest story is not so much clever as dopey, emotive and pandering. The humor attacks rather than amuses.
The narrator is a good one who I have heard several times before but the production destroys the performance by making much of the key dialogue so soft as to be unhearable while other parts slam your eardrums numbing them to continued listening. I was constantly adjusting my player's volume and even relistening in order to follow the story.
Between the sappy story and the poor production quality, I found it difficult to finish.

72 people found this helpful

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A forgettable story with none of the iron Druid charm

Expecting hilarious wordplay during a fun, interesting adventure? I sure was, since Hearne has a history crafting exceptional stories with deep and charming characters.

This book has none of this. It’s a badly strung together set of low brow puns (“SAND-WITCH see what we did there? We’ll remind you often!”) and content seemingly lifted from Monty python and given to a teenager to adapter into a d&d campaign.

See even what I wrote above actually sounds like it could work. But this just doesn’t. None of the characters are likeable and the title of the book seems like a bait and switch.

This is just bad. I expected more from you Kevin. I’m hoping it’s your co-writer who has insisted on reiterating on puns and dad jokes.

Luke Daniels tries to hold the fort with his excellent narration but it’s hard to fix a bad story.

Avoid or get on sale if you must

69 people found this helpful

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I tried... I really tried

I love Kevin Hearne’s previous works and I love Luke Daniels as a narrator. Seeing this funny book available for pre-order, I couldn’t wait to get my hands on it and listen obsessively. Well that did not happen. I tried so hard to keep pushing through. At first I was chuckling, then rolling my eyes, then shaking my head, then getting angry... So I just had to stop. Audible was kind enough to give me a refund though. There are just too many over the top fantasy tropes CONSTANTLY under a barrage of puns, sillily stupid language, and flat out being made fun of while also having a not so subtle undercurrent of leftist garbage identity politics being pushed.

Audio books are where I go to get away from the constant rain of political topics all over the US. So as stated I tried but couldn’t do it.

37 people found this helpful

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Luke Daniels is excellent.

The story is 12 hours of puns, middleschool humor, and heavy-handed social commentary. It switched insanely from laugh out loud funny to eye rolling sybolism. I can not reccomend.

27 people found this helpful

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Adolescent humor ... and not particularly good

I'm not particularly prudish, but the authors were evidently banking on sesqui-entendres like "holding the Morning Wood in reverence" or "plunging into the Bushy Cleft" for yucks. The first couple of chapters were OK, but beyond that the tepid puns were overburdened by an unimaginative plot.

Luke Daniels did his best, but he didn't write the drivel.

20 people found this helpful

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Tries WAY to hard

I love puns and satire as much as the next guy, and much more than my wife. This book sadly just tried way to hard to be funny. Everything felt forced and the plot was weak at best. The writer(s) seemed to think making a Xanth-like novel was easy. It obviously isn't. Their obsession with describing the food fell flat while the rest of the world building was very cliche. The saving grace was Luke Daniels and his always enjoyable narrating style. Good inflection and character differentiation. I suggest you look at Scott Myers Magic 2.0 series for a better example of what I think the authors were aiming for.

20 people found this helpful

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5 Stars from a 2 star guy

I'm not one for giving books inflated ratings. My expectations are pretty high, in fact. But Kill The Farm Boy exceeded ALL my expectations.

If I were to describe it, in a spoiler free way, I would say: take every fantasy, gamer and D&D trope you've ever seen, put them in a blender, spread that on toast made of Terry Pratchet worlds and garnish with Monty Python puns.

Twice while listening to this on my commute I had to pull out of traffic because I was laughing so hard I couldn't safely operate a vehicle.

So, stop reading this review and start the book already!

19 people found this helpful

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Meh.

It was ok. Luke did a fantastic job as per usual, but I found the story felt forced.

17 people found this helpful

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Where’s the aspirin

Just a garbled mess
I was totally exhausted trying to keep track and honestly I didn’t find anything funny or compelling
Don’t waste your dollars

15 people found this helpful

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Luke Daniels is amazing

This is one of the funniest, most laugh out loud books I’ve read in a loooong time. The characters are all great, and the writing is sharp as a tack. Luke Daniels gives the best audio performance I have ever heard. Seriously, he’s amazing. He was one of my favorites after the Iron Druid series, and now I’d have to say he’s my favorite narrator ever. Buy this book. You won’t regret it.

14 people found this helpful