• Liches Get Stitches

  • Liches Get Stitches, Book 1
  • By: HJ Tolson
  • Narrated by: Ella Lynch
  • Length: 8 hrs and 23 mins
  • 4.4 out of 5 stars (58 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

Evil stirs in the forest of Downing, spreading blight across the ancient boughs.

Busy with troubles of her own, Maud the village witch just wants to be left alone. Peace and quiet should be easy enough when you're dead, right?

Wrong. Reborn as a powerful lich, Maud is suddenly faced with the attentions of all the righteous heroes, holy clerics, and nosy neighbors of the realm. Now, instead of whiling away the days in her garden with her cat and her knitting, Maud must figure out how much force is required to crush a man's spine, the proper storage solution to keep a spoiling cadaver, and how best to display the remains of the fallen for maximum scare.

Liches Get Stitches is a very grisly slice-of-life progression fantasy featuring people mulch, head bouquets, revenant geese, and some very deadly embroidery. Undead paradise never looked so good. 

©2021 HJ Tolson (P)2022 Podium Audio

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What listeners say about Liches Get Stitches

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Ella Lynch KILLS it as Maud

I read this book back when it first came out on kindle, and I loved it then, and I love it now. This feminist deconstruction of your typical progression fantasy is equal parts witty and hysterical, and casting Ella Lynch to voice Maud is PERFECTION. I always imagined Maud to have a very cute voice, and Ella Lynch delivers. The black comedy is made even funnier this way. If you've ever wanted to leave the world behind to be a fashionable goth witch doing arts and crafts in a charming little cottage in the woods, then this story is for you. If you've ever wanted to commune with the dead and dance by the light of the full autumn moon, then this story is for you. And if you've ever wanted to just go absolutely ape**** on all the men who've ever patronized you in your life, then this story is for YOU.

1 person found this helpful

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funny, dark and a cat. what more could you want

loved Jenkins the cat. Maud is brilliant.

it's a surprisingly good story. which I really enjoyed. if you enjoy dark British humour then I think you will really enjoy this story too.

1 person found this helpful

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Amazing

I was very pleasantly surprised by this book. It was funny tale of woe. The narrator did a fantastic job a brought story to life. The only complaint was it was to short. I will be buying the next book.

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A Joy from Start to Finish

Somehow, despite there being blood, guts, and necromancy in virtually every chapter, I would still describe this book as "charming." The author did a wonderful job of making me love a traditionally unlovable character and I can't wait for the next book in the series. The narrator also did an excellent job and really helped to sell the story.

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Grab this book

loved the whole story, characters are fun and following a newly born lich who doesn't know basic magic is refreshing compared to the normal op magic user trope. Hope this continues getting narrated in follow-up books. can't wait for 2nd book already. Need more books like this imo.

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personal opinion on the story.

I enjoyed a story the concept to use and the way to use it was quite interesting. a town the characters were like. I really enjoyed the main character. the fact that she became a lich by accident it's quite amusing. but the funniest part was the fact that her black three was a chicken correction a rooster. when I heard that I couldn't help but chuckle of that very notion. your factory your full Factory the very anchor to the mortal world which be which needed. instead of being a gem but a chicken or rooster. very amusing. white criticism is the patient was slightly off of some parts but once again this could be overlooked ask story it's interesting and funny enough to keep me invested overall a good story keep the good work and enjoy writing. in final single enjoy your work and never stop improving glory to Lucifer peace.

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 08-11-22

The narrator makes this funny, grizzly book a whole new joy

I read this book when it first came out and really enjoyed the style and voicy protagonist. After listening to the sample, I was keen to get the audiobook as well. No regrets. :D Really love how the narrator gave Maud such a marvelous voice, it fits the story well - and many of the other chars too, THE ACCENTS! It makes the whole book - which already is such a vibe with its humor, silly and horrid characters, and crafting with um innards and limbs - a super fun new experience. Perfect road trip book, don’t need too much focus to listen to it, really entertaining.

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  • K Mich
  • 09-20-22

Easy going, undead, endearing psychopathy

It's shlock horror in book form, but with oddly endearing qualities...

The narrator really helps to sell the dual nature of the main character.

If you like easy-going 'dark' with an anti-hero main character this is well worth a listen.