This book condones child sexual abuse

CRITIQUE #2: The author told a person that suffered sexual abuse as a child: “Apologize for what you see was your small part in this. Call her (the mom that allowed the sexual abuse) with specifics, tell her your part in this.” (Ch 13)
My criticism is that, in what planet is the author living where she would tell a victim of child sexual abuse to take accountability for “her part” in this? Its unethical and evil for her to say something like that.

CRITIQUE #3: The author told the person that was sexually abused as a child by her step-father, “Honey, that little 9-year old girl who would sit on a man’s lap and be penetrated for his love, that’s a big one, that’s a love to the death. So we are learning who and what we are under the confusion.” (Ch 13).
My critique is that how dare she tell a child that she allowed the rape and child sexual abuse to happen because she wanted love?
CRITIQUE #4: The author told the person that was sexually abused as a child, “Your decision not to tell could have saved your life.” (Ch 13) To which she child abuse victim responded “I didn’t know how to make that decision, he just kept coming into my room.”
CRITIQUE #5:
When the child abuse victim said that she was raped on her birthday by the pedophile, she also said the rape hurt because it was her birthday and she just wanted to be loved. And Byron Katie (the author) said “its what we do for love” which implies that the little girl got herself raped.
The author made her say, “I abused me.” And the author said, “you are just as innocent as he (the pedophile) is.”
The author also made her say, “I abused him.” She said the child abused the pedophile because she was partly to blame for the abuse. I was totally disgusted by the author.
There was also another section where she did a Turnaround and had the child abuse victim say “I
After the author asked “what was your part” after the pedophile pulled her over to rape her and the child abuse victim said “I just let it happen and she said, “yes honey, what was your part” and then she has the nerve to say that “ this is not about blame” when she is clearly putting blame on the child abuse victim.
This part of the book is dangerous.
I wrote this review to warn readers that if you are a child abuse victim, please disregard this part of the book because it is total trash and a lie.
Being raped by a pedophile is never ever ever your fault. Do not believe Byron Katie who clearly puts blame on the child abuse victims. Just because she’s rich, popular, and has helped hundreds of people does not mean she doesn’t make mistakes. She is clearly making a mistake here by telling child abuse victims this.
Know you are loved and know that the incest or child sexual abuse is never ever your fault no matter what. Children cannot be held accountable for the sexual abuse that is done to them. I love you!
-I hope Audible lets me get my money back. I want no part in condoning child abuse.

65 people found this helpful

Go for the abridged version

This new version has Katie and various voice actors reading the dialogues from the book. It comes off as a bit wooden and staged. I would suggest going for the older, abridged version which includes live dialogues of Katie doing The Work with people, and is much more engaging in my experience.

145 people found this helpful

I like the original better

I personally prefer the original reading with the recordings from the actual workshops, it was more authentic and more relatable.

33 people found this helpful

Recommended by my ex-wife

This book was recommended to me by ex-wife and I was skeptical of the book's ability to impact me. However, after putting the book's principles into practice, I have noticed a shift in my thinking, attitudes, and beliefs that have positively impacted the relationship with my children. Although my ex-wife and I rarely speak, I feel much more peaceful in my outlook towards her. I recommend this book to anyone interested in improving their relationships.

40 people found this helpful

Wildly Irresponsible

Byron Katie is a dangerous woman - powerful for sure, and toxic in both her thoughts and the lack of caution she shows in using her influence to suggest shockingly harmful methods of emotional suppression and denial of the self. I listened as if watching a car accident. It's a woman's own fault she was sexually abused? And she should apologize both to herself and her abuser for blaming him, and say thank you...? Very cult like, very dangerous, very disturbing. Go listen to anything by Brene Brown instead and have a better life.

18 people found this helpful

Awful!!!

Do not waste your time or money! Worst book ever!! Her theories and practices are ridiculous.

11 people found this helpful

The abridged version is a better audiobook

Any additional comments?

If you're new to the Byron Katie stuff, I strongly recommend the abridged version for you instead of this one. It contains live recordings of people doing 'the work' and will give you a much greater understanding of what she's getting at. This one is good as a completer...to flesh out a bit if you're interested in learning more, but it doesn't give you the up close understanding what's actually happening emotionally and intellectually for the people in the dialogues.

34 people found this helpful

To the point

If you could sum up Loving What Is in three words, what would they be?

Practical, ready to apply, immediately beneficial (a rarity for self help-books)

What was one of the most memorable moments of Loving What Is?

Hearing "the work" being applied to the most extreme cases (rape, incest... oof) and maintaining its simplicity and straightforwardness

Which scene was your favorite?

Hearing someone get clarity is always a joy, many examples of that in this book

Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

Sort of; I listened to it in big chunks, but having some time to digest (and APPLY) the information step by step is highly suggested

Any additional comments?

I would recommend this book especially to selfhelp-nuts, who maybe are getting bored of high concepts with debatable applicability. The simplicity of this will be refreshing.

10 people found this helpful

Truly Life Changing

What did you love best about Loving What Is?

Before listening to this book my negative thoughts consume my life. I was depressed, unmotivated, angry, and overall unhappy The bad things that happen to me kept replaying in my head along with all the things people had done to me that hurt me. Katie helped me realized the power my thoughts have over me and that I can change them by answering her four questions. It really is very simple. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

What did you like best about this story?

Hearing people go over the four questions with Katie.

Which character – as performed by the narrators – was your favorite?

Katie the narrator did an excellent job.

What insight do you think you’ll apply from Loving What Is?

The four questions.

Any additional comments?

Highly recommend everyone to read/listen to this book.

8 people found this helpful

I really wanted to like this book

Byron Katie's oversimplification about very nuanced problems is honestly insulting. I really wanted to like this book because Mike Birbiglia endorsed it on a podcast and I think he's great. But I hated this book. I'm glad that Katie's philosophy brought her peace but I feel like she is teaching people to gaslight themselves. There is a point where she encourages a victim of sexual assault to take a "piece of the blame" and I was just dumbfounded. Her philosophy is delusional and harmful in my opinion.

6 people found this helpful