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Loving What Is
- Four Questions That Can Change Your Life
- Narrated by: Byron Katie, Stephen Mitchell, MacLeod Andrews, Rebecca Lowman
- Length: 9 hrs and 7 mins
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Publisher's Summary
Out of nowhere, like a breeze in a marketplace crowded with advice, comes Byron Katie and "The Work". In the midst of a normal life, Katie became increasingly depressed and, over a 10-year period, sank further into rage, despair, and thoughts of suicide. Then, one morning, she woke up in a state of absolute joy, filled with the realization of how her own suffering had ended. The freedom of that realization has never left her, and now, in Loving What Is, you can discover the same freedom through The Work.
The Work is simply four questions that, when applied to a specific problem, enable you to see what is troubling you in an entirely different light. As Katie says, "It's not the problem that causes our suffering; it's our thinking about the problem." Contrary to popular belief, trying to let go of a painful thought never works; instead, once we have done The Work, the thought lets go of us. At that point we can truly love what is, just as it is.
Loving What Is will show you step by step, through clear and vivid examples, exactly how to use this revolutionary process for yourself. You'll see people do The Work with Katie on a broad range of human problems, from a wife ready to leave her husband because he wants more sex to a Manhattan worker paralyzed by fear of terrorism to a woman suffering over a death in her family. Many people have discovered The Work's power to solve problems; in addition, they say that through The Work they experience a sense of lasting peace and find the clarity and energy to act, even in situations that had previously seemed impossible.
If you continue to do The Work, you may discover, as many people have, that the questioning flows into every aspect of your life, effortlessly undoing the stressful thoughts that keep you from experiencing peace. Loving What Is offers everything you need to learn and live this remarkable process and to find happiness as what Katie calls "a lover of reality".
Critic Reviews
What listeners say about Loving What Is
Average Customer RatingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Gingerbread
- 04-15-20
This book condones child sexual abuse
CRITIQUE #2: The author told a person that suffered sexual abuse as a child: “Apologize for what you see was your small part in this. Call her (the mom that allowed the sexual abuse) with specifics, tell her your part in this.” (Ch 13)
My criticism is that, in what planet is the author living where she would tell a victim of child sexual abuse to take accountability for “her part” in this? Its unethical and evil for her to say something like that.
CRITIQUE #3: The author told the person that was sexually abused as a child by her step-father, “Honey, that little 9-year old girl who would sit on a man’s lap and be penetrated for his love, that’s a big one, that’s a love to the death. So we are learning who and what we are under the confusion.” (Ch 13).
My critique is that how dare she tell a child that she allowed the rape and child sexual abuse to happen because she wanted love?
CRITIQUE #4: The author told the person that was sexually abused as a child, “Your decision not to tell could have saved your life.” (Ch 13) To which she child abuse victim responded “I didn’t know how to make that decision, he just kept coming into my room.”
CRITIQUE #5:
When the child abuse victim said that she was raped on her birthday by the pedophile, she also said the rape hurt because it was her birthday and she just wanted to be loved. And Byron Katie (the author) said “its what we do for love” which implies that the little girl got herself raped.
The author made her say, “I abused me.” And the author said, “you are just as innocent as he (the pedophile) is.”
The author also made her say, “I abused him.” She said the child abused the pedophile because she was partly to blame for the abuse. I was totally disgusted by the author.
There was also another section where she did a Turnaround and had the child abuse victim say “I
After the author asked “what was your part” after the pedophile pulled her over to rape her and the child abuse victim said “I just let it happen and she said, “yes honey, what was your part” and then she has the nerve to say that “ this is not about blame” when she is clearly putting blame on the child abuse victim.
This part of the book is dangerous.
I wrote this review to warn readers that if you are a child abuse victim, please disregard this part of the book because it is total trash and a lie.
Being raped by a pedophile is never ever ever your fault. Do not believe Byron Katie who clearly puts blame on the child abuse victims. Just because she’s rich, popular, and has helped hundreds of people does not mean she doesn’t make mistakes. She is clearly making a mistake here by telling child abuse victims this.
Know you are loved and know that the incest or child sexual abuse is never ever your fault no matter what. Children cannot be held accountable for the sexual abuse that is done to them. I love you!
-I hope Audible lets me get my money back. I want no part in condoning child abuse.
65 people found this helpful
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- moves
- 01-06-16
Go for the abridged version
This new version has Katie and various voice actors reading the dialogues from the book. It comes off as a bit wooden and staged. I would suggest going for the older, abridged version which includes live dialogues of Katie doing The Work with people, and is much more engaging in my experience.
145 people found this helpful
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- Xiaonan
- 02-21-18
I like the original better
I personally prefer the original reading with the recordings from the actual workshops, it was more authentic and more relatable.
33 people found this helpful
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- Jae Behrmann
- 05-12-16
Recommended by my ex-wife
This book was recommended to me by ex-wife and I was skeptical of the book's ability to impact me. However, after putting the book's principles into practice, I have noticed a shift in my thinking, attitudes, and beliefs that have positively impacted the relationship with my children. Although my ex-wife and I rarely speak, I feel much more peaceful in my outlook towards her. I recommend this book to anyone interested in improving their relationships.
40 people found this helpful
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- Chelsea
- 08-18-20
Wildly Irresponsible
Byron Katie is a dangerous woman - powerful for sure, and toxic in both her thoughts and the lack of caution she shows in using her influence to suggest shockingly harmful methods of emotional suppression and denial of the self. I listened as if watching a car accident. It's a woman's own fault she was sexually abused? And she should apologize both to herself and her abuser for blaming him, and say thank you...? Very cult like, very dangerous, very disturbing. Go listen to anything by Brene Brown instead and have a better life.
18 people found this helpful
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- Shelly Rosen
- 08-18-18
Awful!!!
Do not waste your time or money! Worst book ever!! Her theories and practices are ridiculous.
11 people found this helpful
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- Book Reader
- 09-06-16
The abridged version is a better audiobook
Any additional comments?
If you're new to the Byron Katie stuff, I strongly recommend the abridged version for you instead of this one. It contains live recordings of people doing 'the work' and will give you a much greater understanding of what she's getting at. This one is good as a completer...to flesh out a bit if you're interested in learning more, but it doesn't give you the up close understanding what's actually happening emotionally and intellectually for the people in the dialogues.
34 people found this helpful
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- Jacopo
- 12-29-17
To the point
If you could sum up Loving What Is in three words, what would they be?
Practical, ready to apply, immediately beneficial (a rarity for self help-books)
What was one of the most memorable moments of Loving What Is?
Hearing "the work" being applied to the most extreme cases (rape, incest... oof) and maintaining its simplicity and straightforwardness
Which scene was your favorite?
Hearing someone get clarity is always a joy, many examples of that in this book
Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?
Sort of; I listened to it in big chunks, but having some time to digest (and APPLY) the information step by step is highly suggested
Any additional comments?
I would recommend this book especially to selfhelp-nuts, who maybe are getting bored of high concepts with debatable applicability. The simplicity of this will be refreshing.
10 people found this helpful
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- L. Martinez
- 01-22-18
Truly Life Changing
What did you love best about Loving What Is?
Before listening to this book my negative thoughts consume my life. I was depressed, unmotivated, angry, and overall unhappy The bad things that happen to me kept replaying in my head along with all the things people had done to me that hurt me. Katie helped me realized the power my thoughts have over me and that I can change them by answering her four questions. It really is very simple. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
What did you like best about this story?
Hearing people go over the four questions with Katie.
Which character – as performed by the narrators – was your favorite?
Katie the narrator did an excellent job.
What insight do you think you’ll apply from Loving What Is?
The four questions.
Any additional comments?
Highly recommend everyone to read/listen to this book.
8 people found this helpful
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- Anonymous User
- 05-20-21
I really wanted to like this book
Byron Katie's oversimplification about very nuanced problems is honestly insulting. I really wanted to like this book because Mike Birbiglia endorsed it on a podcast and I think he's great. But I hated this book. I'm glad that Katie's philosophy brought her peace but I feel like she is teaching people to gaslight themselves. There is a point where she encourages a victim of sexual assault to take a "piece of the blame" and I was just dumbfounded. Her philosophy is delusional and harmful in my opinion.
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