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Married Sex  By  cover art

Married Sex

By: Gary Thomas,Debra K. Fileta
Narrated by: Gary Thomas,Debra Fileta
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Publisher's Summary

Read by the authors.

A unique, comprehensive guide to sexual intimacy for Christian couples in every season of marriage.

A great sex life is something you make, not something you find. If you feel confused or frustrated about your sex life—or simply wonder, Is there more to it than this?Married Sex is exactly what you need to make your marriage stronger, in and out of the bedroom. 

Including the stories of real-life couples, research results from hundreds of comprehensive surveys, and professional perspective from a best-selling spiritual writer and a licensed counselor, Married Sex will:

  • Help you understand why married sex is one of God's best ideas
  • Teach you the inner workings of your body and your spouse's body in order to achieve optimal pleasure 
  • Guide you through the most common sexual problems couples have and what to do about them 
  • Help you see how your past experiences and expectations influence your present sex life 
  • Give you practical suggestions and techniques to enhance your sexual experience 
  • Encourage you to take ownership in the process of making love, seeing a great sex life as a beautiful opportunity to honor both God and your spouse

Psychology, theology, research, story, and let's-get-started ideas combine to make Married Sex a resource for you and your spouse like no other book you've heard before. Discover practical, biblically informed answers to your questions about intimacy as you find more satisfaction in your marriage than ever.

©2021 Gary Thomas and Debra K. Fileta (P)2021 Zondervan

What listeners say about Married Sex

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Straight talk about married sex that’s grounded in Biblical Truth and wisdom!

Our pastor recommended this book, and with a long drive ahead, my wife and I decided to listen together.

It is refreshing to hear straight talk about married sex that is grounded in Biblical wisdom, research, and practical counsel.

The book is well-written, thoughtful, and practical. While great married sex is a central theme, the focus of the entire book is on building and maintaining a deep connection with your spouse in the context of a God-honoring marriage.

Each topic is dealt with directly, clearly, and without needless embellishment. Yes, the conversation is blunt but isn't it about time for Christian husbands and wives to hear what God has to say about sex in a healthy and growing marriage?

Listen to this book with your spouse. Hit pause and discuss things. Listen some more. Then have some fun!

7 people found this helpful

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Problematic: warnings and caution.

Poor construction. The last chapter should have been the first. The first seven chapters were spent talking predominantly about women's bodies in an objectifying way and discussed what wives should do for the husbands. It was also degrading to both men and women. Women were sex objects to be ogled by their husbands. Husbands are animalistic with poor ability to control their sexual drive or thoughts. It spent most of the time focusing on the physical act of sex in marriage with little mentioned (proportionally) about the relationship/connection or the health of the relationship being priority. While the focus of the book is sex, the importance of a healthy relationship wasn't well conveyed in the construction of the book or the amount of effort spent on that truth.

6 people found this helpful

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A great read!

As a seasoned pastor and a husband to my wife for more than 33 years I can say that this is a great read. The conversation is tasteful yet direct. The authors bring the full range of their professional and personal experience to bear on this markedly Christian faith informed guide to experiencing one of God’s great blessings to His people. Highly recommend!

4 people found this helpful

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Brilliant

This book is just Brilliant. There is so much scripture all throughout.

I think as a Christian growing up in church we were taught that sex before marriage is bad. We heard that 90% more than we were told that married sex is at least allowed. I don’t remember being told that God made it and encourages it.

I’m so glad to hear Christian leaders speak out on this topic and encourage believers to have more fulfilling marriages. There is so much information here that was new to me, even after 15+ years of being happily married.

I think every Christian guy needs to learn the principle of selflessness in the bedroom that Gary and Deborah talk about. And we need to learn how to be more understanding in our marriages.

I will highly recommend this book. It should be standard for all premarital Christian counseling.

4 people found this helpful

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Raw. Real. Honest.

Enjoyed the book and the honesty and rawness. I know a lot of women are in a uproar over it but I thought it was great.

4 people found this helpful

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Best Christian Book on Sex

Without question, I feel this is the best book I’ve ever read on married sex from a Christian perspective. It was fantastic!

3 people found this helpful

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Right book at the right time!

My husband and I listened to this books together ( we were also a part of the private Facebook group for this book). Listening to it together precipitated lively, sometimes difficult, and, at times, healing conversations about our sex life. Hearing Gary and Debra read their portions of the book as we drove felt like we were having a private counseling session with each. I would recommend listening to this book with your spouse and discovering each other’s perspective about this delicate, beautiful area of marriage. Growing in knowledge and understanding in this area of marriage is a must and this book has helped both my husband and me grow.

3 people found this helpful

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This book is must!!!

If you are married, read this book!!!! It has been a fantastic resource in my marriage, and I recommend it to everyone!

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Sex: Basic Barometer of Marriage

Thomas and Fileta show convincingly how a good relationship is essential fuel for a great sex life. Expecting to have wonderful sex while neglecting emotional connection and sensitivity to your partner is like expecting to drive 1000 miles on a quarter tank of gas. Not going to happen!

1 person found this helpful

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A Great Read for Married Couples

There is a lot to negative feedback on this book and I simply believe it’s not true. This book had a PROFOUND impact on the intimacy in my marriage. There is a great back and forth with both the husband(Gary) and wife(Debra) perspectives which helped me better understand how my wife is likely to feel about different situations. This is such a great book and I hope those of us that are truly seeking information to improve their marriage will read books like this because it’s important. We don’t have to “figure out” or just accept a sexless marriage. This book is evidence that we can have a satisfying marriage. AWESOME READ!

1 person found this helpful