• Marry Him

  • The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough
  • By: Lori Gottlieb
  • Narrated by: Brittany Pressley
  • Length: 9 hrs and 8 mins
  • 4.6 out of 5 stars (244 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

You have a fulfilling job, a great group of friends, the perfect apartment, and no shortage of dates. So what if you haven't found The One just yet. Surely he'll come along, right? 

But what if he doesn't? Or even worse, what if he already has, but you just didn't realize it? 

Suddenly finding herself 40 and single, Lori Gottlieb said the unthinkable in her March 2008 article in The Atlantic: Maybe she, and single women everywhere, needed to stop chasing the elusive Prince Charming and instead go for Mr. Good Enough. 

Looking at her friends' happy marriages to good-enough guys who happen to be excellent husbands and fathers, Gottlieb declared it time to reevaluate what we really need in a partner. Her ideas created a firestorm of controversy from outlets like the Today show to The Washington Post, which wrote, "Given the perennial shortage of perfect men, Gottlieb's probably got a point", to Newsweek and NPR, which declared, "Lori Gottlieb didn't want to take her mother's advice to be less picky, but now that she's turned 40, she wonders if her mother is right." Women all over the world were talking. But while many people agreed that they should have more realistic expectations, what did that actually mean out in the real world, where Gottlieb and women like her were inexorably drawn to their "type"? 

That's where Marry Him comes in. 

By looking at everything from culture to biology, in Marry Him, Gottlieb frankly explores the dilemma that so many women today seem to face - how to reconcile the strong desire for a husband and family with a list of must-haves so long and complicated that many great guys get rejected out of the gate. Here Gottlieb shares her own journey in the quest for romantic fulfillment, and in the process gets wise guidance and surprising insights from marital researchers, matchmakers, dating coaches, behavioral economists, neuropsychologists, sociologists, couples therapists, divorce lawyers, and clergy - as well as single and married men and women, ranging in age from their 20s to their 60s.

Marry Him is an eye-opening, often funny, sometimes painful, and always truthful in-depth examination of the modern dating landscape, and ultimately, a provocative wake-up call about getting real about Mr. Right.

©2010 Lori Gottlieb (P)2021 Penguin Audio

Critic Reviews

"Marry Him is a frank and funny read, weaving real people's stories with Gottlieb's own experiences, and containing sharp examinations of how society and culture - everything from When Harry Met Sally to The Bachelor - come into play when modern women look for love." (The New York Observer)

"A provocative pop culture treatise...she encourages us to think through our own beliefs and unexamined assumptions." (The Chicago Tribune)

"Marry Him shows women how to find true happiness when seeking love - by giving them a new way to look at the world. Gottlieb manages to be hilarious yet thought-provoking, light-hearted yet profound on the questions of: Why do we fall in love? What qualities really matter in a marriage? For what reasons do we make the decisions that affect our whole lives? Like provocative relationship classics such as The Rules and He's Just Not That Into You, Marry Him will set people talking for years." (Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project)

What listeners say about Marry Him

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Wanted more

The book was engaging enough for me to finish in a day and I’d recommend it. The geek in me wanted more statistics and historical context of what could have changed overtime. Woman being able to financially support themselves more than ever would have been great to explore.

4 people found this helpful

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Wish all young women could read this

Im 28 and have been reading many relationship books. I saw Lori Gottlieb on the roommates podcast and she made so much sense. I think if i would have been introduced to this book before knowing her stance on the roommates, i probably wouldnt have continue reading. The book is a very harsh but true reality that many women dont want to admit to. Im guilty of rejecting men based off of simple things yet wondering why my friends were marrying and I’m still single. Along with many other books this book really put things into perspective and made me realize my expectations were waaaay too high and i was prioritizing wants and neglecting what I needed. I wasn’t being realistic and really wasn’t taking time to even get to know certain men and see “what’s inside the book”. I plan to reread this in the future and highly recommend it

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Do not listen unless you are under 35 or infertile

Listened to the first 45 min. The theme that you are useless to men unless you can birth a child is strong.

2 people found this helpful

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This is me!

Excellent book which came at the perfect time in my life. I was at a crossroads and had came to the hard conclusion that I was doing EVERYTHING wrong in relationships and had to change. My daughter sent me the book and I saw myself in the pages from the beginning to the end. I just turned 49yrs last week and although it can seem impossible I am very hopeful that my life partner is out there and soon to come. This I am confident because I am putting down the narrow mindset and superficial and shallow expectations which always held me back. Thank you to Lori for sharing your experiences and for the hours of research and dedication to helping woman see the light!

I am viewing men and relationships through new lenses.

With great appreciation to the truth…
V

1 person found this helpful

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All women need to listen to this book

I found a lot of good pearls in this book. I am a divorced mother of 3 boys. I think there is something in this book for every woman!

1 person found this helpful

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True…and entertaining!

I only wish I’d had this book 10 years ago! I’m actually thinking about listening to it again even though I just finished. It was just that eye opening.

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Such a mean, useless piece of (relation)ship

What a mean, poorly researched, misogynistic book. The premise is you won’t be happy without marriage and you won’t find someone great if you’re over 35. Pffffffft. It’s “she dumped an ok guy and now she’s in a cold cave all alone forever and so so sad and she wished she married that sun-par man!” anecdote after anecdote.

Did an Incel write this? Or someone’s nasty “who buys the cow when the milk is free!” Grandma write it? I loved “You Should Talk To Someone” but this is just crap.

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Singl. A must read.

When the student is ready the teacher will appear. This book was amazing, wish I had known about it and 2010. 👏

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Wow

I’m now married, but it took some bumps in the road for me to get here. Now I know why so I’m going to recommend this book to all of my single friends and make my daughters read it when they enter high school so they can start making smart choices as soon as possible.

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Redundant

The message was ok. A different way of looking at a few things if you are more set in certain ways or closed minded. It is redundant in writing. Could have shortened or added different material.