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Publisher's Summary

It’s all fun and games...until you stake your sister’s fiancé.

Okay, fine! I’m not really going to stake Colin or his brother, the insufferable, bossy-fanged Darcy Blackmore. At least not as long as I can find another way to stop our siblings from getting hitched.

My sister, Lizzy, won’t admit it, but she doesn’t love Colin. She’s sacrificing herself so we can stay in Nightfall, New Hampshire, and renew the magical shield keeping the paranormal creatures here, including witches like us, safe from human discovery.

I have 10 days to find another way - aside from a bloodsucker wedding - to secure our legacy and not a lead in sight. So, imagine my surprise when the wretched, though admittedly smoking hot, Darcy comes to the rescue.

His scheme? 

We pretend to be hot for each other, trick Lizzy and Colin into confessing they don’t really want to tie the knot, and sort out how to save the town once the wedding bells are silenced - permanently. 

It’s not a bad plan. In theory.

If only Darcy wasn’t every bit as delicious as he is obnoxious. If only he’d kept his secret sweet side under wraps and kissing him wasn’t the most amazing thing to happen to my lips in my entire life. If only this fake love had stayed fake, instead of creeping into my heart on stealthy little vampire feet. 

Now I have a decision to make - keep faking it with the world’s sexiest vampire until I lose big at love, yet again, or leave my new hometown and all the people I’m coming to love behind. Forever.

©2022 Bella Jacobs (P)2022 Bella Jacobs
  • Unabridged Audiobook
  • Categories: Romance

What listeners say about My Big Fat Bloodsucker Wedding

Average Customer Ratings
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I loved this so much!

My Big Fat Bloodsucker Wedding is the perfect story to laugh, and fall in love! Darcy and Blaire are to cute, clueless, romantic ever! This audio had an amazing performance. Can’t wait to read/listening book 2!!!

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Wow! A new author!

Wow! I loved this audiobook! A lighthearted vampire story! I will look for more by Bella. And Shane and Lili are always awesome!!

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A paranormal rom com with extra comedy

I am a sucker (see what I did there...) for a funny paranormal romance that makes me laugh out loud, and this Bella Jacobs book ticked all the boxes - feel good, funny, romantic, extra funny, inventive and just a rollicking good time from start to finish.

Blaire is determined to do anything she can to drive the Darcy, the notoriously cantankerous vampire, and his family, out of town and out of her life. But when they are forced to team up to keep her sister, Annie, from marrying his brother, Colin, things take a turn for the unexpected and Blaire finds out that Darcy isn't at all as bad as she thought. Their shenanigans and scheming not only brought tons of humor, but also chemistry that is off the charts!

Add a bunch of supporting characters that are way off kilter, like Janet and the house kraken, and a town that may as well be the definition of weird in the dictionary, and you know this book will provide hours of hilarity. Plus the narration by Shane East and Lili Valente perfectly enhanced the writing. Bella Jacobs not only wrote a great hysterical paranormal rom-com, but the audio was perfectly cast. Shane and Lili have some comedy chops!

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absolutely adored!

this story was so deliciously funny! I loved every moment, the self discovery, the romance, the family moments, it was just epic! I am literally dying for book 2!

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Lovely characters!

What an interesting and fun story! It made me chuckle and the chemistry between Darcy and Blair was red H-O-T!! I enjoyed scenes with these two. There are a lot of fun characters including the small one.

I listened to this on audio. The narration is one thing that made this so much fun to listen to. I look forward to more in this series.

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I loved every minute of this book!!

I absolutely fell in love with Blaire and cranky Darcy. These two were hilarious and hot at the same time. It cracked me up how each thought they knew what was best for Annie and Colin. Constantly scheming to figure out how they will get them to split up. Oh, how wrong they were. I loved their journey from mutual dislike to everything in between and more. It cracked me up how vehemently they deny being interested but to themselves they can’t stop thinking about each other. Hell, I had to get my fan out to cool myself down on more than one occasion because Darcy and Blaire were ON FIRE!
Blaire and Darcy, as well as the other crazy characters like nutball Janet and the weird kraken in the pipes, will keep you on your toes with everything that happens. I was guessing until the end. And I want more of the people in this crazy supernatural town!
I could not put this book down. Bella Jacobs wrote a freaking fantastic story! It’s that combination of good storytelling and stellar narrator performances that bring it all home.
So many great lines in this book expertly delivered by Lili Valente and Shane East. These characters were tailor made for these two narrators. They know just how to bring the right amount of spice and humor into the performances.

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Great Listen

I am so in love with this story. It's such a great para-romcom that I can't wait to read more about this family. Darcy and Blair have amazing chemistry. I have not read a para book in a hot min and this story reminded me of why I love them so much. Bella did a great job setting the scene and transporting us to that small secret town. I only wish the story was longer...lol. I got so lost in all the ins and outs of the mystical realm. I can't wait to read about all the other sisters.
Lili is the absolute best narrator around and I love to listen to anything she narrates. She brings a special something to the characters.
Shane East is always amazing in anything he narrates...he always knows how to bring best listening experience to a story. These two together are pure gold!

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Lili and Shane are magic!

Bella Jacobs does paranormal romance like no other. My Big Fat Bloodsucker Wedding was just brilliant. Fun and sexy and filled with vampires, witches and various other creatures who entertained me from the first line until the very end. I had the pleasure of listening to this in audio and Lili and Shane killed it! I love the way they sound together, but this one was just magic. The independent witch trying to help her sister and the sexy, jaded vampire trying to help his brother. This is one of my favorite audiobooks ever! It's just that good. If you are on the fence about whether to grab it, do it! You will not be disappointed. Shane and Lili really do bring their A game and the story is just so fun and exciting and sexy! The writing, the plot and all the characters are the reason we read romance!

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Witty, entertaining supernatural rom com!

Welcome to Nightfall - a hidden supernatural town full of eccentric creatures and characters! My Big Fat Bloodsucker Wedding is a witty and immediately hooked me into the story.

Darcy is a protective alpha vampire voiced by the growly Shane East. Blaire, the fiercely independent witch-in-training heroine, is voiced by the delightful Lili Valente. Both gave amazing performances, as usual for these wonderful narrators. Shane's rasp during the saucier parts of the book was heavenly and upped the temperature 20 degrees. Lili's spirited and determined voice is the perfect fit for Blaire.

Darcy and Blaire are combining forces to stop the upcoming nuptials of Annie (her sister) and Colin (his blood brother) - a marriage of duty to renew the shield for the town of Nightfall. What they didn't expect was the pull they have to each other.

"Basically he looks like an eighteenth-century snack and mama skipped lunch today."

Bella Jacobs weaves a story filled with humor, steam, and all the crazy characters you can imagine. Be prepared for hijinks and protection from house kraken that can cook, vampires, wyverns, pixies, shifters, and everything in-between.

I'm not normally a paranormal/fantasy reader but this book was rom com gold! I was immediately hooked into the story and couldn't put it down. Extremely entertaining! I look forward to the next book in the series.

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Broody vampire and independent witch equals swoon

From the first sentence, this book just hooks you in and takes you along for the ride. The journey to Darcy and Blaire’s HEA includes three dimensional characters, witty dialogue, and an engaging storyline. I also love when the narrators seem to breathe life into the characters and this is what happened here. Lili Valente is a perfect Blaire and Shane East’s accent is exactly how I pictured broody Darcy. Blaire Wonderfully just found out she’s a witch from a long line of witches, then moved to the supernatural town of Nightfall to live in a falling down house that she inherited, all while still trying to take care of her five sisters. Darcy Blackmore is a 200 year old vampire and a town elder who is not interested in a relationship. When Blaire’s twin sister, Annie, and Darcy’s brother, Colin, agree to marry to renew the town’s wards, Darcy and Blaire decided to fake a relationship with each other so their ill-suited siblings will call off their wedding. Despite the animosity between them, their very real and sizzling chemistry make the lines between fake and real get very blurry. The story includes what you’d expect from this genre - mildly dangerous situations, paranormal creatures, loyal friends and family, tragic back stories, mystical coincidences, snark, and laughs. On their way to their HEA, there is a small bit of angst and there is growth for both characters. The book has a little bit of everything - sweet moments, sexy times, real life issues, imperfect characters, laugh out loud moments, and so much love. So expect to laugh, swoon, cry, cringe, and cheer. I am excited to read the next book in this series teased about in the epilogue.

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