Changed my life forever

You know its gonna be a good review whenever you see "I USUALLY DONT LEAVE REVIEWS BUT..."
Well this is one of those.

How was this book?
Short answer: Life-changing

Long answer: I've struggled with people pleasing, anxiety, low self esteem, and stuttering my whole life. I wanted to please everyone. Say yes to everyone. Say yes to nobody. Everybody else came before me. Someone asks me to help them move? HOW could I POSSIBLE say no? Because if I say no, then they won't like me any more right?
This is such a poisonous mindset, and this book REALLY elaborates on that.
In the first chapter, he tells you that his goal is for you to eventually see the term "Nice guy" and think of that as a terrible disgusting thing that you would never ever want to be. His goal was definitely accomplished by the end of that book. I was the biggest nice-guy/push-over that I knew. Everywhere. Work, school, relationships, you name it.
I have been completely transformed.
I see the words "nice-guy" and it induces nausea and repulsion. Ok maybe not to that extent. But I definitely don't see "nice-guy" the same as I used to. Not at all.

I can honestly say without a doubt, that I am now the MOST assertive person I know, and I mean that with all the honesty in my heart. I feel powerful, in control, less anxious, happier, and I even stutter less lol.
This book gives you a new pair of eyes that you can never close. You see things you never saw before. You realize just how much people apologize for ANYTHING that doesn't warrant an apology.

Example #1:
-I accidentally brush up against someones shoulder while walking in a hallway-

Old me: Sorry about that

New me: *silence*

What the hell do I have to apologize about? I didn't do ANYTHING wrong.

Example #2:
-A friend asks me to help them move-

Old me: I would love to! and you know I would! its just [I am now lying...] its just I have to take care of this thing at 5pm and I can't push it back any further.. Man this sucks, because I totally would help you move, I just can't today.

New me: I'll pass actually, I'm tired and I really just wanted to relax today.

This is now how I actually respond to requests like this.

I never thought I could be capable of being so assertive, confident, and in control. I used to come across obviously assertive people and be jealous, even resentful toward them because I wished I could be like them. I wished I could have their confidence.
I now consider myself to be more assertive than the most assertive person I've ever met. Those people who I used to be jealous of? I don't consider them to be as assertive as I am now. My family and friends notice that radical change. I make saying no look easy.
And it is honestly VERY easy now. I now say no to people with no guilt. This book teaches you how to do that.

BUT WARNING:
The steps in becoming this way are VERY uncomfortable at first. Dr.Aziz gives you all the steps you need and outlines all the exercises for you, but you HAVE to do them in order to change. There's no other way. You can't just read this book and become transformed. Not gonna happen.
The only way to become the assertive person that you want to be is by DOING it. Follow the steps. They are SO UNCOMFORTABLE AT FIRST. But it really does get easier with time.
The first exercise, when I did it, I was so incredibly uncomfortable I wanted to hide lol. Now looking back, doing that exercise again seems effortless to me now.
But that's just the thing, you NEED to be willing to go through the discomfort. If you're not willing to do that, don't by this book. Honestly. But if you're willing to go through the discomfort, this book will absolutely change your life forever.

This book as made me incredibly assertive, REALLY spiked my confidence, lowered my anxiety, and even lessened my stuttering. And it goes away more and more every day.

If there is one thing in my entire life I could change, it would be reading this book much earlier in my life.

94 people found this helpful

Cultural attitudes get in the way of the message

The concept of this book is good, and some may find some valuable information and advice here. However, the author seems to have some cultural attitudes that conflict with those of us in the West. As a female, I found some of his comments, especially regarding his dating attitudes and later towards his wife, very condescending, even chauvinistic. His comments seem to stem from a male-dominated society where women are seen as less than, and "the weaker sex."

I tried to continue listening, but after awhile these chauvinistic attitudes were just too much. I couldn't keep listening to his condescension and barely contained arrogance. I found it offensive and off-putting, leaving me angry and unable to focus on the message of the book itself.

54 people found this helpful

Life Changing

There have been very few books that have changed my life and this is one of them. I am an old guy and if something like this was available to me when I was young I would have avoided decades of torment. Thank you Aziz for making a difference in me.

53 people found this helpful

Better than excellent!

I never leave reviews, but this goes to show you what a great impact this book had on me .

Very good, I learned a lot from this book, more so than any other book I've ever read.

I even created my Bill of Rights and I live by those. it is my great pleasure to recommend this book and its author.

48 people found this helpful

If it would be 100 stars rating review, I would give 100.

Do you remember a book ‘No more Mr nice guy’? I hate hate that book. After reading it, I felt that I am more screw up, then before that book. I did not remember any tool, just how fucked up nice people are. (Not author, he was perfect) So, I was kind of sceptic, before I start to read ‘Not nice’ But this book is nothing like that. Actually the book is brilliant. It’s guidebook, how to liberate yourself, to finally feel comfortable with yourself, authentic, bold and free. Great explanations about inner mechanisms and mindsets, examples, tools and exercises. If you struggle with stress and expressing yourself. You will find here everything what you need and more. Really good job Mr Aziz.
I know my English is not perfect but I won’t apologize for that ;))

31 people found this helpful

Lots of annoying self-promotion

Makes an okay argument for avoiding the trap of being a people pleaser... could've achieved the same thing in half the time though... tons of shameless self promotion... kept thinking that it was really annoying how the author was trying to tell me what to think about the book i.e. that its awesome and what its teaching is amazing and will change my life... instead of just leaving me to draw my own conclusions about

28 people found this helpful

4 hours in and ...

Im four hours into this book and he’s still raving about how great the book is and how life changing it is but yet no instructions, guidance, or examples of any kind on actually what to do or how to change it. Now I still have 14 hours to go, hopefully I can hang in there and get through it and update my review. So far, it’s unbearable.

21 people found this helpful

awful

Talks about self constantly. Seriously needs editing. 18 hours of talking about his life. Rambling. Get wild at heart or no more mr. Nice Guy - 2 far better books. The rational male or models are two other great books on the same subject. This book sucked.

20 people found this helpful

This book isn’t in order!!!

The chapters don’t show up and they are OUT OF ORDER! Fix this please! Loved the book hate how horribly audible is executed for all the books I buy!

19 people found this helpful

Too Long

What disappointed you about Not Nice?

This audio is long, so long. Dr. Aziz seems to just ramble on and on. I feel the material could be condensed and made more applicable. More content doesn't mean better results. Its really the opposite. More content gives you analysis paralysis. Meaning you never take action because there is just too much to learn, remember, and apply. That's what happened to me. Find something that gets more to the point.

18 people found this helpful