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Out of the Doghouse
- A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating
- Narrated by: Timothy Andrés Pabon
- Length: 4 hrs and 58 mins
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Publisher's Summary
It's all about cheating - the biggest threat to intimacy. Typically, men are good at creating rifts in relationships but terrible at mending them, especially after they've repeatedly betrayed their partner through sexual infidelity. For the most part, cheating men are both intimacy-challenged and empathy-challenged, and, as such, they lack the skills needed to overcome the damage wrought by their infidelity.
Robert Weiss has spent over 20 years in the treatment of sex and intimacy issues. He's helped both cheating men and their betrayed spouses move through the horrors of infidelity. In Out of the Doghouse he shares his expertise, illuminating the ways in which men can move beyond their usual feeble efforts to smooth things over. Saying "I'm sorry" and trying to "buy forgiveness" with flowers and jewelry may temporarily calm the stormy seas of infidelity. However, these actions do nothing to re-establish intimacy and trust - the key components to help the distraught woman feel better about her relationship over the long-term and get over the cheating.
The simple truth is, men and women are very different when it comes to intimacy and relationships. While men are able to compartmentalize things like sexual infidelity, women typically view cheating as an affront to their entire relationship. They think, "If he is lying to me about sex, he's probably lying to me about everything." For betrayed women, trust just flat-out disintegrates. And without proper guidance, men have little hope of restoring it. Weiss provides exactly the needed guidance in Out of the Doghouse, helping men move past the usual infidelity roadblocks that result from cheating in ways that will not only save a damaged relationship, but restore intimacy to make it better than ever.
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What listeners say about Out of the Doghouse
Average Customer RatingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Jeff M
- 08-01-20
Dude: if you are confused, listen to this.
Unlike most of the reviewers on here, I'm a dude and read this of my own volition. I'm grateful for that and it gives me hope. I wanted to know what I could do to suppprt my partner, which was the last few chapters of the book. Most of the book is about giving dude's a clue about what they have done and how hurtful it has been for the partner. I already knew and owned all that so it was not super helpful. Weiss uses the word spouse, which assumes marriage. Probably fair, because if a couple is not married, infidelity probably spells doom for the relationship. In any case, I joke that this book should be subtitled "you are an a**hole and don't know it". I appreciate that the author is reaching out to a broader audience than the recovery crowd. This is a good service for dudes who need a clue. That said, if you are already in recovery and working a program with a sponsor and doing deep work on yourself and relationships, this book may not help you much. However, if you're scratching your head saying "why is she so angry?", then do yourself a favor, listen to this book and listen up. I'm surprised how many women listened to and reviewed this book. The fact that women like it is a clear sign it is relevant for you, dude. Also, if you are reading this review and considering this book, you probably need it. Otherwise, why are you even reading this review?
8 people found this helpful
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- Melissa Stanley
- 02-17-18
Perfect with only one regret.
I hope that the man I love reads or listens to this. I gave him a hard copy and sent him the audio version as well. He is a serial cheater and sex addict who has attempted suicide on several occasions as a result of my catching him acting out. I can only hope this book speaks to him. It explained what I am experiencing and what I need and want perfectly. My only regret is that Robert Weiss is no longer seeing patients.
5 people found this helpful
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- Anonymous User
- 06-07-20
If you care for her at all, listen to this book.
As the book suggests, this book was given to my girlfriend who, in turn, gave it to me. I have a lot of work to do. This book shared with me the tools and knowledge I need to do well and, hopefully, earn her love back into my life.
2 people found this helpful
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- LAURA B.
- 05-30-18
Especially if your the wife....
Its been 3 years since my D day and sometimes I still struggle through a day....This book has helped my husband to understand the pain I feel and to help me/us through it...
2 people found this helpful
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- Aaron Shahin
- 04-20-20
great information
this book is a great guide and should be listened to by anyone in the doghouse. it has helped me see more then I had before.
1 person found this helpful
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- junrue
- 03-06-20
Solid advice that’s well-organized
I appreciate that the book is written in the context of the man who has wronged his woman. There are some great words about the definition and difference between forgiveness and trust. I re-read several rich sections to get all of the details.
1 person found this helpful
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- Antonio C. Inostroza
- 10-03-19
Amazing book!
Former cheater here in recovery from affair addiction. A must read for all men that want to repair their relationship. Thank you Mr. Weiss!
1 person found this helpful
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- Julie D. Wirtz
- 03-17-19
Exactly what I want my intimate partner to know!
This audiobook hits the nail right on the head! I am hoping my intimate partner will agree to listen to this book together with me to spark conversations toward either healing the hurt and bringing us closer together for true intimacy, or if that doesn't happen, at least addressing the issue of his betrayal well enough to move on separately in a healthy manner. So many times while listening to it on my own, I found myself exclaiming, "that's exactly right!" when hearing something that echoed exactly how I feel. While it validated my feelings, I think the book offers some positive insight with helpful ways to overcome a breach of trust, and build a stronger, closer relationship, or decide to just separate totally. I love how the book inspires one to think on the best path forward, after betrayal. Out of the doghouse, whether toward a closer relationship with the primary intimate partner, or closure on the problem before going separate ways, I think this book is helpful, either way.
1 person found this helpful
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- JenJW
- 12-23-18
So helpful!!!
I heard about this book from Rob Weiss and I sent it to my boyfriend. I listened to it while we were separated. I feel it explains exactly what a woman wants the man to know and what he can do to make amends. I feel it is a perfectly helpful book.
1 person found this helpful
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- Em
- 09-19-18
Nailed it
Got this book for my boyfriend when i found out he cheated. Best decision. Not only is it helping him to see how’s he’s hurt me, but it’s helped me feel justified in my emotions and not so alone. Recommend for men and the hurt women in their lives
1 person found this helpful
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- Amazon Customer
- 10-15-21
ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE - THANKS🙏
I will take ALL advice on board and become a better me for my partner which I hope I will remain with and for myself.
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- Mrs. Agata Iannarella
- 10-17-20
Informative.
Great listen interesting advise. I agree with many parts. But - The pain of the betrayed lasts a life time . Relationships are really never the same, even when she stays and loves her husband differently not as deeply. Any man that cheats will always lose and has to work the rest of his life to prove himself to his significant other. In my experience trust is gone always wondering. Love is shallow never deep as it once was . Care factor disappears. He has to work very hard at restoring the partnership. He needs to really be in love with for it really be effective. Thanks for your insight.