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Scarred
- The True Story of How I Escaped NXIVM, the Cult That Bound My Life
- Narrated by: Sarah Edmondson
- Length: 7 hrs and 43 mins
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Publisher's Summary
The shocking and subversive memoir of a 12-year-NXIVM-member-turned-whistleblower, and her inspiring true story of abuse, escape, and redemption.
"Master, would you brand me? It would be an honor."
Scarred follows actress Sarah Edmondson's account of her recruitment into the NXIVM cult, founded by Keith Raniere. It narrates in detail the 12 years she spent within the organization, during which she enrolled over 2,000 members, chronicling her breaking point and her harrowing fight to get out, help others, and heal.
- Complete with personal photographs, this tell-all follows Sarah from the moment she takes her first NXIVM seminar, to the invitation she accepts from her best friend, Lauren Salzman, into DOS - a "secret sisterhood" within the cult - to her journey toward becoming a key witness in the federal case against its founders.
- Listeners will learn how cults like NXIVM get started, why people get involved (and stay), and the importance of whistleblowers who bring light to illegal and unethical practices.
- Sarah Edmondson is a Canadian actress and playwright who has starred in the CBS series Salvation and more than 12 films for the Hallmark Channel and Lifetime. She is featured in the CBC podcast Uncover: Escaping NXIVM and The Vow, the upcoming HBO documentary series on NXIVM.
Scarred isn't just about NXIVM. It is also a story about abuses of power, the role female friendships play in cults, and how sometimes the search to be "better" can override everything else.
- A thrilling listen for fans of true crime and cults, as well as listeners of podcasts like My Favorite Murder and Up and Vanished.
- Great for fans of Troublemaker: Surviving Hollywood and Scientology by Leah Remini, Escape by Carolyn Jessop, Beyond Belief by Jenna Miscavige Hill, and Bad Blood by John Carreyrou.
- Evokes questions about friendship, ethics, good, and evil, making it a perfect selection for book clubs.
Audio edition read by the author.
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What listeners say about Scarred
Average Customer RatingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Ellen
- 10-23-19
Riveting!
Beautifully paced and gripping story, inspirational. Narration wonderful! Highly recommend. It can get you thinking how easily and in different situations people in our lives can be influenced in the way the author was and that they can get their lives back.
9 people found this helpful
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- Jen
- 10-20-20
Successful, Brilliant People DO FALL PREY
It is because of Sarah's book that I am now finally extracting myself from a lifetime of indoctrination. (Different organization, same manipulative, diabolical tactics.) For that reason alone, I'm forever grateful that this book was written. You lit a fire under me Sarah Edmondson, and now I'm mad!
It is beyond brave to get yourself out of a cult. But to then tirelessly help get everybody out that you unwittingly brought in, and to take that mother fu**** on? That is courage. That is grace. That is something nobody, least of all Keith "Will there be volleyball?" Reniere, can ever take away from her.
If you think this cannot happen to you, you're wrong. Cults start small. They start with volleyball. They start with "leadership improvement" classes. Who doesn't want to do some self improvement, right? Cults do not go for the weak. They go for the strong, sophisticated, and most brilliant among us. They go after the brightest shining stars and then get them to do all of the work of recruiting. This story chronicles that subtle process magnificently.
I truly hope Sarah is far from finished with bringing us stories. I would expect nothing but great things to come from her. WHAT A READ, WHAT A LISTEN! xo
7 people found this helpful
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- Sandy B
- 11-21-19
Not for me
I really had a hard time listening to the entire book. I just don't buy that any woman with any intelligence would but into this as long and hard as the author did. I cannot even count the number of times I cringed and shook my head.
7 people found this helpful
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- Amazon Customer
- 09-19-19
Awesome story and narration
I just finished listening to this book. It took me two days. The story is really helpful and inspiring. Its also very entertaining to listen.
6 people found this helpful
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- Brooke
- 09-26-19
Amazing
Great listen! Very informative of everything she went through with Nxvium and helping to bring it down
4 people found this helpful
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- Carter
- 10-01-19
Meh
I was really expecting this book to be better. To be quite honest, I was pretty bored through out it but was able to listen to it all the way through. I think it would have been better off with a different narrator.
7 people found this helpful
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- LMBessette
- 10-06-20
Outstanding! - follow up to The Vow
This is a book who’s Audible improves the experience. Sarah reads this herself (and...she’s an excellent voiceover actress, so...). You have her intonations and emphasis, and thus the most accurate representation of her personal story. This is so much more than the HBO documentary could share about her perspective. It is a fuller representation of how steep and slippery the slope was - all while seeming a self improvement goldmine for the taking. I highly recommend this Audible book. I couldn’t put it down, even though I knew the ending!
2 people found this helpful
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- Mark Brown
- 12-09-20
Powerful! Gritty! Enlightening!
SCARRED is an intimate, insiders look into the NXIVM experience, told from a first-person perspective in chronological sequence. Sarah Edmondson takes us on her exciting journey into, and harrowing exit out of NXIVM in a revelatory, disturbing, and ultimately inspirational narrative.
I LOVE the conversational, sometimes gritty honesty in Sarah's writing style. This really came through in her narration.
I listened a second time and again had a particularly emotional response to the final chapter HEALING.
Love this line from Chapter 15 - FREEDOM: "The ones who truly love you will always love you."
I'm moved by how highly Sarah values family and mommyhood.
Sarah said, "I wanted to help others, to evolve the world, and live and work among an empowered community of women." Although the route she took was horrendous, I believe she's fulfilling that by speaking up, speaking out, and sharing her story.
That's what I admire and find so inspirational.
FIVE STARS FOR ME!
1 person found this helpful
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- Kellee Renson
- 07-27-20
So much scary information
So many people especially women go into something they believe and then to hear this. Brainwashing, lies, deceit. The things I’ve heard about Scientology and Charles Manson. Who is out there now stealing our lives.
1 person found this helpful
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- Victoria Eriksson
- 05-30-20
5 stars
Wonderful
I read this in the span of a single 24 hr period, couldn't put it down. For anyone who has been part of any sort of destructive cult, or thinks they are part of such a group, you should absolutely read this. It helps clarify exactly what qualifies, how to see red flags clearly.
I have already been healing for about 10 years from a destructive psychotherapy cult, but that made it a more meaningful experience because Sarah helped to usher in an era that involves more justice and understanding than existed in American society and law for people like us than existed when I was leaving my own destructive cult. And for the Keith Renieres of the world, the narcissistic sociopathic leaders of said groups, too.
Thank you
1 person found this helpful
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- Ms Venetia Paiz-Merino
- 10-11-19
Fascinating; compelling; what an emotional rollercoaster!
This is a fascinating and gripping tale of an idealistic young woman who was lured into the omnipotent grasp of a contemporary cult. Reciting her own tale, Sarah takes the reader through her extraordinary journey with NXIVM - the ambition, the euphoria of self-discovery and the strangling embrace of the community, which eventually led down such a dark path that she felt compelled to blow the whistle.
I devoured this book in just a couple of days. Warning - you will not want to put it down until you’re done!
2 people found this helpful
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- Ivie Hill
- 06-09-22
Good. Not brilliant considering the scale.
The book was good. There's very little given to explain the indoctrination thought process as any other individual would have walked away 12 days in not 12 years in but that's a lot of time and people are vulnerable in different ways. The story is not as gripping simply due the magnitude of the case and the sheer volume of crimes committed. The author kept exclusive to her story and in one sense, good for her not to have experienced those horrors. She's a brave woman. I'm sure there would be plastic surgeons who will gladly remove the brand of its possible one day if she so chooses. Wishing her all the best and her family. She's got an amazing husband.
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- kat
- 03-24-22
Sarah you are so brave
wow what a story. You are such an inspiration to share such a story. From something you believed would help others and yourself. The nightmare that followed. I am so glad you broke free and now making people aware how easy you can get into these situations. Keep strong.
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- Laura
- 03-16-22
A must-read for documentary lovers!
Sarah's story is heartbreaking and infuriating. If you loved 'The Vow' a HBO docu-series on NXVIM you'll love this.
also check out her podcast 'A little bit culty'
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- Able Marle Devon
- 10-06-21
Scary yet fantastic story!
I have just watched The Vow so this direct account from Sarah was extremely interesting. I’ve always been fascinated by cults but being in the UK knew nothing about NXIVM - scary story that this goes on in modern times.
Beautifully read and really well written. Thank you I thoroughly enjoyed your book. I’m sorry that happened to you.
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- Roos
- 09-24-21
Shocking and personal insight into NXIVM
This book was so good! I've watched all the documentaries about NXIVM but this book gives much more insight and details of how life was in it, how people could get pulled in and how the brainwashing worked. I'm so impressed by the writer for not only sharing all these personal experiences but also reading them out - that must have been so hard but hopefully also therapeutic. Thanks to Sarah and the others that left, the leader is now in jail for 120 years and the others are also serving time. Knowing this outcome beforehand made it extra good to listen to this book (a 'happy ending'). Highly recommend!
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- Megan.scott
- 09-08-21
inspirational strength from Sarah
So brave of Sarah to share this story. A lesson for us all here.
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- Kirsty Hovey
- 07-05-21
Fantastic read and beautifully read
Well done Sarah, really inspiring read (listen) good luck to you and your loved ones.
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- Anonymous User
- 05-04-21
Great book
Great book, watch and listen to Sarah Edmondson a few times. loved it even more as it is narrated by Sarah herself.
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- moninoni
- 04-24-21
Brave brave lady
I have listened to this book 4 times now and I still can’t quite get my head round it. Sarah is a well educated beautiful lady, but she was still drawn into such a dangerous cult whose leader was/is a very evil and manipulating man. Sarah and the other members who managed to escape him and have him arrested for the truly grotesque things he has done is just awe inspiring. The fact that this happened now is scary. So many people taken in and used and abused by this man is only really read about in history or fiction. I wish Sarah-and her family all the love and luck to continue to stay strong. Thank you, you may have saved many from abuse psychologically and physically and alienation from the people who love them as they are and for who they are 🥰🥰
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- Anonymous User
- 08-10-22
The documentaries are much better
It was ok….documentaries about NXIVM have been far more compelling and interesting. Not to take away from her personal story or experience, but it was just a little slow to listen to.
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- Timothy
- 05-13-22
Moving, emotional and inspiring.
A moving, emotional and inspiring book. Sarah helped me during a time I was myself leaving a high control cult and I am thankful to be able to listen to her tell her story. Thank you Sarah
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- Johanna Cleary
- 01-07-22
incredible and inspiring
An incredibly terrifying story told by a brave woman. Thankyou for telling you story Sarah.
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- Jen
- 12-12-21
Amazing story....
Fantastic achievement, such an honest book, that will help many for years to come learn about having the strength and courage to change and question their world. Congratulations 🎊 xx
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- Anonymous User
- 01-03-21
Gripping
Scarred is a gripping and harrowingly personal biography that is read so perfectly by the author. An incredible insight into a criminal organisation from the inside. Must listen!
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- Anonymous User
- 12-16-20
Dissapointed
The book was well written but I feel the proceeds of the book will go someone who committed a crime.
They stole money from many people and the thought they were entitled along the way.
Disappointed and puzzled at how people are so naieve (or good at acting).
Just goes to show people will do anything for money.
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- Anonymous User
- 12-08-20
Compelling listen
I purchased this title after watching both "The Vow" and "Seduced", two quite different documentary series about NXIVM, Scarred is Sarah Edmondson's own story which was peripherally addressed in "The Vow". This was a compelling story, starting with the practice that precipitated the downfall of NXIVM. Sarah does her own narration, and her storytelling is enhanced by her beautiful reading and lyrical voice.
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- Shelly Nicholson
- 11-10-20
My eyes are open.
I smashed this out in a day. I just couldn’t stop listening. Wow I couldn’t believe what I was heard the manipulation. A lot of the steps resonate with pyramid type business training. Up lines, recutting, it just went on and on.
Thank god without the sex influence.
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- carolyn fitzgerald
- 08-31-20
Amazing
An extraordinary story told by Sarah Edmondson. She’s clearly no idiot which demonstrates the power of cults to influence peoples’ thinking. Fascinating. I loved it 👍
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- candice
- 10-20-19
Incredible.
Listening to Sarah's story broke my heart, made me cry, made me sad, angry and eventually made me smile. Let Sarah's story be a lesson, never let anyone take control of your life. You are loved and worthy of all the beauty this World has to offer. Thinking of Sarah and all of the survivors of NXIVM. Peace to all of you.
Related to this topic
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Don't Call It a Cult
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Investigative journalist Sarah Berman explores the shocking practices of NXIVM, a cult run by Keith Raniere and many enablers. Through the accounts of central NXIVM figures, Berman uncovers how dozens of women seeking creative coaching and networking opportunities instead were blackmailed, literally branded, near-starved, and enslaved. Don't Call It a Cult is a riveting account of NXIVM's rise to power, its ability to evade prosecution for decades, and the investigation that finally revealed its dark secrets to the world.
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Most people have beautiful dreams deep inside - the things they would like to have, the relationships they'd love to enjoy, and the wellness and well-being that would help them express their best, in every way. But often those dreams lie buried inside us. Hidden by fear or unworthiness or a lack of awareness of what could be. Asking is the only language to which the Universe can deliver a solution, understanding, illumination, or plan.
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