• The Five Keys to Mindful Communication

  • Using Deep Listening and Mindful Speech to Strengthen Relationships, Heal Conflicts, and Accomplish Your Goals
  • By: Susan Gillis Chapman
  • Narrated by: Gabra Zackman
  • Length: 6 hrs and 38 mins
  • 4.2 out of 5 stars (1,406 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

Good communiation is essential to any healthy relationship, whether it's between spouses, family members, friends, or co-workers. In this book Susan Chapman, a marriage and family therapist and a longtime meditation teacher, explains how mindfulness can be brought to bear in the way we speak and listen to each other so that we can strengthen our connections and better accomplish our goals. Drawing on Buddhist principles and on her training as a psychotherapist, Chapman explains how the practice of mindfulness - learning to become fully present in the moment - makes it possible for us to listen more deeply to others and to develop greater clarity and confidence about how to respond.

Chapman highlights five key elements of mindful communication: silence, mirroring, encouraging, discerning, and responding, and she dedicates a chapter of the book to each. Other topics include identifying your communication patterns and habits; uncovering the hidden fears that often sabotage communication; staying open in the midst of difficult conversations so that we can respond wisely and skillfully; and learning how mindful communication can help us to become more truthful, compassionate, and flexible in our relationships.

©2012 Susan Gillis Chapman (P)2014 Audible Inc.

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What listeners say about The Five Keys to Mindful Communication

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  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

Caution: Textbook Madness!

I would recommend this book in another format. Too much information to absorb without some reflection. Imagine a bumpy road. Easier to pass over slowly for a smoother ride.

51 people found this helpful

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Review

I needed to understand how to allow myself to connect I have issues of abandonment and alcoholism in my family. I do not allow people close even when they should be. I'm only half way through the audiobook , and I recommend it highly for communicating and connecting with others .
It's very easy to listen to also . Thanks!!!

42 people found this helpful

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Great self help material, worth your time :-)

I was always having difficulties with conflicts, especially in my love life. So I've began to put to practise the 3 lights technique with my sweetheart and we have moved past so many layers off past trauma just by understanding, compassion and mindfulness., using the 3 lights technique for a start.

26 people found this helpful

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Delivers on message, in a Clear and Meaningful Way

Would you listen to The Five Keys to Mindful Communication again? Why?

Yes. the message and information is timeless. I've studied Buddhism, and thought there would be more emphasis in that arena, but not so. It's more Imago Therapy principles, and the mindfulness aspect is about becoming more aware (through exercises and observation) of how we communicate and react. I've listened, read and studied messages on wholeness for years, and this book is hopeful, inspiring and actionable. It's not a book you read or listen to and walk away asking now what. There are exercises that are simple, relatable and provide results (like stopping for 3 seconds, every couple hours to be silent) I was amazed at how this exercise affected me.

The red, yellow, green light concept (the colors represent a mental or communication state, with red being hostile or shut-down, ect) is a bit of an issue. It's not hard to grasp what the intent is in using this analogy, but how are we as non-therapists, suppose to be able to identify and alter our behavior successfully using this technique? I think in professional therapy it would work, but in a self-help setting; not so much.

What do you think the narrator could have done better?

She at times sounded condescending, and high pitched. Definitely needs to re-think that young child voice (pain for the ears!)

Any additional comments?

Overall, I highly recommend this book because the information is accessible, not too intense, and overall so helpful in helping people take responsibility for their experience, thus living in their power (not as a victim, rescuer, or persecutor)

25 people found this helpful

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"Too Zen!"

Would you say that listening to this book was time well-spent? Why or why not?

I love Gabra Zackman as a reader. I was looking for self structure and steps as solution builders. I am on ch 3 with 4 1/2 hrs to go and I have a full agenda for meditation and zen thinking. None of the other reviewers even hinted this was the case.

What was most disappointing about Susan Gillis Chapman’s story?

I can only hope this book improves in the next 4 1/2 hrs. I am not into yoga, and I agree it does help you meditate, but so far the provided information has not galvanized me at all.

Which scene was your favorite?

Yet to be determined

Did The Five Keys to Mindful Communication inspire you to do anything?

So far this is about getting out of one's self and caring about others. I wanted steps to help formulate better communication not charity building acts.

20 people found this helpful

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Insightful and poignant

I enjoyed it very much. The Author's experience is rich and meaningful and it is clearly illustrated with relatable examples and stories. The insight provided herein is extremely valuable to anyone, especially if you struggle with communication in general.

16 people found this helpful

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85% meditation related, 15% about communication

Would you try another book from Susan Gillis Chapman and/or Gabra Zackman?

No. I'm not interested in meditation related material. I do believe it can be beneficial, but it's not what I'm interested in.

Would you ever listen to anything by Susan Gillis Chapman again?

Same as above.

What about Gabra Zackman’s performance did you like?

The reading performance was the quality I expected.

What reaction did this book spark in you? Anger, sadness, disappointment?

Disappointment. I had expectations of the science of communication, but the content of the book didn't meet that expectation in the way I was looking for.

Any additional comments?

I bought this book with the expectation that it would be a university level research driven book about the science of communication. I wanted to analyze, not meditate.

12 people found this helpful

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Interesting and helpful

The book met my expectations and it is one I will have to come back to. The narrator was very good as well. I would recommend it.

11 people found this helpful

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Great book and mind fullness manual

Very easy to understand easy to apply practices
Eye opener to me, it explains a lot
I will start listening to it again now, I will allow more times to the exercises as well

11 people found this helpful

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A book about empathy

It focuses on the empathy and loosing the concept ( like in the movies) of villains and heroes. But I felt that it relies on the hope that not only you'll put yourself in the other person's shoes but that the other person will do the same, in reality this doesn't happens all the time, you cant control that and sometimes people do bad things or behave like assholes, and you just cant make them turn green again.
You have to listen to it several times to really get it in.

8 people found this helpful

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  • Aida Jawhari
  • 02-24-15

Excellent insight into a complex field

Content is insightful incisive and potentially life changing. I needed to listen repeatedly as I am not a psychologist but found it very enlightening. The narrator is too fast though. A slower pace with appropriate pauses would be valuable.

6 people found this helpful

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  • Mordkigh
  • 08-06-22

Eye opening!

I have always struggled with communication, and this book has not only helped with communication skills, it's given so many good examples which has given me a lot of "a'ha" moments. Would absolutely recommend this book to anyone and everyone. The narrator was soothing, clear and engaging at all times. Will definitely be revisited if I struggle at anytime or just to revise the tools given.

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 07-18-22

Book to read

Brilliant book, helpful to understand communication, relationships and energy. Well read and insightful for everyone good points made

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  • Alisson Beltran-Romero
  • 05-10-22

Excellent!

100% recommend to anyone who wants to be a mindful communicator (included in the membership)

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
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  • Neil Hazzard
  • 02-08-22

easy way of realising a few important things

the author presents a very insightful and constructive guideline to communication
the book made me think about how we need to sometimes put relationships above ourselves. that's basically the main message put in a way, that you realize it's importance and do not feel hurt about it

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  • Phoebe
  • 12-20-21

Much needed

If more people read this book, lots of our social problems would cease to exist. It gives great insights into communication types and how to tackle them within yourself and understand them in other people

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 12-15-21

practical guide

useful reference background to everyday communication issues on what said and what is heard

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    5 out of 5 stars
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  • Kindle Customer
  • 12-02-21

Loved It

Came across by mistake and thankful I did. A book for anyone interested in mindfulness or anger control

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    3 out of 5 stars
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  • Mrs E Warburton
  • 11-05-21

Repeating

I found this entire book to have little substance. Repeating information over and over.
I don’t feel I learnt anything. Disappointing

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  • Geoffb
  • 10-16-21

Wonderful

I loved this book - beautifully read and beautifully written. I learnt so much from this wise and heartfull book.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 06-29-22

Poignant, meaningful, relevant

I love the narration and the articulate, easy to understand explanations in this book. Lots to take away from this book, plenty of a-ha moments.
A lot of this is grounded in CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) but takes a holistic approach. It draws on real life examples as case studies.
The traffic light theory helps to visually conceptualise the idea of different stages of openness / barriers to communication between people. Much easier than psychology terms like "stonewalling" etc.
"We first" thinking - I like that. Some of this might take more effort for many of us, eg. neurodivergent folks, but it has a lovely sentiment, the messaging makes sense, and such a pleasant warmth in the narrator's voice that kept me engaged.

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  • Simbah142
  • 05-31-22

Throughly enjoyed

Examples and helpful advice was good.

Would recommend to anyone who hasn’t yet began a mindfulness practice or has experienced domestic violence.

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  • Tina
  • 02-12-22

Very good tips and well written

Practical tips to improve communication and also developing deeper understanding of others and oneself. I liked the links to Buddhist practice while also making this book accessible to those who are not Buddhist. Easy to follow and great real life examples to help the listener understand the different parts that make up mindful communication.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 11-30-21

Great book

Great for self reflection, easy to follow and listen to. Perfect for anyone who is seeking personal development and how to communicate with others.

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    5 out of 5 stars
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  • Anonymous User
  • 04-25-20

The green light.

I appreciate the concepts & will read again to train myself in them. Easy listening.

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    3 out of 5 stars
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  • Diana
  • 04-19-19

Interesting, but not practical

There are some interesting ideas, but there is not enough practical advice, more Buddhist philosophy.