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Publisher's Summary

As he did in Who Not How, Dr. Benjamin Hardy shares one of Dan Sullivan's simple yet profound teachings that until now has been known only to his Strategic Coach clients: unsuccessful people focus on "The Gap", but successful people focus on "The Gain".

"[T]his one simple concept is a masterclass on positive psychology, healthy relationships, mental well-being, and high-performance. Everything that psychologists know about how to create a high-functioning and successful person can be achieved using The GAP and the GAIN." (Dr. Benjamin Hardy)

Most people, especially highly ambitious people, are unhappy because of how they measure their progress. We all have an "ideal", a moving target that is always out of reach. When we measure ourselves against that ideal, we're in "the gap". However, when we measure ourselves against our previous selves, we're in "the gain".

That is where the gap and the gain concept comes in. It was developed by legendary entrepreneur coach Dan Sullivan and is based on his work with tens of thousands of successful entrepreneurs. When Dan's coaching clients periodically take stock of all that they've accomplished - both personally and professionally - they are often shocked at how much they have actually achieved. They weren't able to appreciate their progress because no matter how much they were getting done, they were usually measuring themselves against their ideals or goals.

In this book you will learn that measuring your current self vs. your former self has enormous psychological benefits. And that's really the key to this deceptively simple yet multilayered concept that will have you feeling good, feeling grateful, and feeling like you are making progress even when times are tough, which will in turn will bolster motivation, confidence, and future success.

If you're finding that happiness eludes you no matter how much you've achieved, then learning this easy mindset shift will set you on a life-changing path to greater fulfillment and success.

This audio product contains a PDF with supporting material, and the PDF is available to download 

©2021 Hay House (P)2021 Hay House

What listeners say about The Gap and the Gain

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Main topic: good. Examples: woof. Christian bro culture: level 10.


OK so I have very mixed reviews about this book.

If you take it specifically at its face value and JUST FOCUS on the main subject of the book which is to measure your success backwards it’s good.

Many entrepreneurs and highly motivated people gloss over the things they’ve already accomplished and move onto the next thing, which leads to burn out and never feeling happy or satisfied with your life. If you just stick to this principle, I think the book is really worthwhile.

However, many of the examples and situations they discuss make it a book that makes me very uneasy. It is a very bro business book.

This book is obviously written by two straight white males of privilege. While one author does briefly mention privilege in the discussion part of the book, the rest is just left hanging out there. Examples would be how one of the authors takes a limo service for all driving purposes. There are no real examples of women, POC, etc and it shows.

It all started making sense towards the end of the book when the writer starts discussing his religion. He mentions that he was proud that he’s given over $1 million to his church.

He then mentions how foster families (he has three from the system) need more rights, “failed adoptions” in foster care- etc. Helloooooo red flags, and howdy white savior complex.

Then at the end he discusses his missionary work. Obviously this is someone with a white savior complex, which really took away from his messaging for me.

And we haven’t even talked about how they use the holocaust as the an example of finding the “gain in the gap.” I don’t think that that’s ever a good idea. Ever.

If Dan, the creator of the concept of the Gap and the Gain, had found another writer to work with, I think the book would have been a lot more powerful. Ben’s contributions literally drip in Christian bro culture and is such a turn off.

8 people found this helpful

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One of the Most Helpful Mind Shifts a Perfectionist Can Make

I’ve been following the author’s work for several years now and each book gets better and better. The Gap and the Gain is a novel concept for measuring progress and success. It’s presented in a clear and concise manner. He offers loads of examples, personal stories, and other people’s stories as a means of driving the point home. The book includes casual recorded conversations between Ben and Dan which I found to be a bonus! Ben lays out the reasons why we should live in the Gain and Dan really drives it home. It’s a wonderful collaboration between two people who invest all their time in building up others. It celebrates the life work of one exceptional leader and beautifully demonstrates what’s possible when an emerging thought leader acts courageously. Thank you for sharing this powerful tool with us!

6 people found this helpful

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  • JB
  • 11-08-21

Hands down, best book I have read this year

I read a lot of books and this is the best book I have read this year, possibly in the last 5 years. As a highly driven entrepreneur, this book is already helping me in business, but also in my marriage, being a dad and in my church. Thank you Ben and Dan!

3 people found this helpful

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Great book!

Benjamin Hardy and Dan Sullivan delivered again! This books talks about so many great ways to reframe our belief systems to see the GAINS in our lives versus the GAPS.

3 people found this helpful

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Going to listen to it twice

Overall. Great book that teaches a very powerful concept. I wasn't too big of a fan of the conversations at the end of each chapter between the two gentlemen. I didn't think those conversations were quite as direct or succinct as the chapters themselves. But overall, this was an awesome book and I'm actually going to listen to it a second time to pick up more pearls of wisdom. if you are on the fence about reading this book, I 100% percent think you should

2 people found this helpful

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Life changing. No seriously life changing!

Wow! This has transformed me. I'm so grateful for this book. I actually teared up in the conclusion when I realized the consequences of my wrong thinking. As soon as I finished this book, I sent an apology text to my wife and business coach. I'm excited to share our new thinking with my employees. This is going to be great!

2 people found this helpful

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Wise and liberating!!

I love this book and think everyone could benefit from reading it! This is the answer to liberating a culture who is always thinking about what the next thing is to achieve because they have undervalued their whole life of achievements. Me too! But not anymore!!

2 people found this helpful

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Profound book

This book is astonishing in how it distills hard concepts into simple ones. It blends timeless wisdom with modern thinking and will make a fundamental impact on anyone who reads or listens to it. Thank you Ben and Dan.

2 people found this helpful

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Incredible and mind blowing. True insights and activities to change your future

The key simple concepts and activities that Ben and Dan discuss in this audiobook and their interviews in between the chapters are so incredible and uplifting to have hope again in my future and what I’m pursuing. It also gives me a toolset and conversation booster for those around me to win and to be in the gap. I’m so excited to experience daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly gaps as well as sharing these experiences with my wife, kids, and family. Thank you Ben and Dan for putting this book together and excited to see what other books you guys create together to make our world and the way we see it better!

2 people found this helpful

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Are these reviewers serious?

This self help book is mediocre at best. It's highly subjective, speculative, and very opinion based. Every example is of people who have already reached the highest tier of their profession... And the overall theme of this book is to feel ok with falling short of your goals. It really felt like a knock off of other books and basic principles of psychology and sociology, but with a new catch phrase. I really am very surprised it's gotten such good reviews. Trevor Lawrence doesn't skip meals bc he can't afford to eat. And he works harder than anyone else that hasn't achieved his level of excellence.. He also has other traits that give him an advantage at what he does... How do so many people miss these obvious "gaps" in logic... I/E one on hand it says you need to set firm goals and strive to achieve them. And then on the other, they guilt trip, and virtue signal you into not giving an actual assessment of your performance in order to not bring other people around you down.. Next a lot of people have the same goals. If one person achieves more toward that same goal.. This book tells the other person to lower their expectations/goals in order to be happy instead of motivating them to find the means to achieve the goal.. Some many of the "points" the older one makes are really not factual.. Did I listen to the same book as everyone else?

1 person found this helpful

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  • Gareth
  • 11-18-21

One of the two most powerful positive psychology tools I have ever used

Thanks Dan for creating the concept that has changed my outlook for the better. Thank you Ben for bringing Dan’s creation into the light and to my attention. Brilliant and so simple to implement in every day life.

I particularly enjoyed the two-way interview sections with Dan at the end of each chapter and hearing the authors’ voices - there is real heart and soul in what you guys do.

For anyone considering reading/listening - particularly high achievers and entrepreneurs - this book will enhance your life more than money and all the riches you can imagine! Just buy it. This book will help you to fix that strange program in your brain that makes you always discount your own impressive achievements.

You might be wondering what the other most powerful psychological tool I have used is…. Well look me up to find out ;)

1 person found this helpful

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  • Fernando
  • 07-16-22

Great concept!

Loved the idea shared to measure success. It's well explained and easy to follow. There are some conversations between the authors that make the audiobook engaging

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  • simone
  • 06-12-22

It changed the way I see my entire life

This is a must read for every goal driven entrepreneur. It will change your perception of success.

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  • Mikey T
  • 04-18-22

Very good, a lot of Stoic ideas.

Great book, it's a quick listen and has a nice chapter review with both the authors discussing each topic.

This book uses a number of stoic ideas, so if you're a fan of that you should like this.

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  • Jack
  • 03-09-22

Brilliant & mindset changing

I’m really focused on listening to audiobooks, but have never finished one, until now. This has already changed my mindset to focus on the gain not the gap, and shifted how I speak with my people

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  • T.G. Court
  • 02-21-22

Don't waste your time

Half the book is interviews with Dr Hardy waffling pointlessly or clearing his throat. The whole book is a time filler, trying to sell a business & the title concept is just a rubbish rip off of Carol Dweck without any real underlying substance, process or explanation.

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  • L
  • 02-14-22

Must read/listen

Started applying stuff to my daily life before even finishing the book and stated to see instant results. Life changing book. But only if YOU are ready.

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  • nj_reviewer
  • 01-16-22

Excellent and life transforming

I wish I had listened to this sooner - live changing impact from day one. Great interviews in between the chapter. Highly recommended to transform your business, relationships and life. I will also apply Tostito my coaching practice and in my own writing routine. Listening to the book was a huge win!

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  • Anonymous User
  • 12-29-21

life changing

Commit to the gain. A new mindset both practical and profound. Excellent delivery. Self-help at its best.

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  • SMC
  • 12-24-21

Dynamic duo

As a duo these 2 men are producing amazing books. I have never thought about framing life as gaps and gains. I very much look forward to the the books of follow as so far they are all game changers!

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 07-05-22

Such a good book

Great book. It was short, sweet, to the point and doesn’t drag on with meaningless stories. Loved it!! Pair this book with the resilience project and you’ll be a better person. Such valuable lessons and the work starts after the book.

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  • Felicity McSwain
  • 05-12-22

Game Changer

I could not stop listening to this book, and was already recommending it to friends halfway through. some amazing topics and ways of thinking about your self and achievements!

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  • Anonymous User
  • 04-29-22

Dan loses interest

main narrator ben is great but conversations with Dan are not very interesting and lose interest.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 01-20-22

Want to be happy?

We can choose to measure ourselves against fluctuating ideals and externals or choose a life of GAIN. The more GAINS you create the more specific and selective you will become about the life you will live and the future you will create. Absolute GOLD.

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  • RIK RUSHTON
  • 11-22-21

The True "Lens of Success"

This book is a culmination of so many time tested success principles that are timely for today's pandemic world. The simplicity of the information should not confuse the reader/listener into the false belief that this is an entry level manuscript. The strategies in this book are life changing. Especially for those high achievers who have been climbing the ladder of success only to find that it has been aligned to the wrong wall! This will be a modern day classic

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  • Anonymous User
  • 11-17-21

Powerful

I listened to this audiobook in four days. Highly recommended! I loved this audiobook and the concept of getting out of the gap and into the gain. The journal exercises and practical strategies are invaluable. I have ordered a hard copy of the book to take a deeper dive into the ideas, assist with practising this skill and to share with others. At times I found myself going into the gap as I listened to Ben’s incredible achievements. This is not a criticism at all, but simply illustrated how easy it is for us to go into the gap! Loved it. Thank you for this gem.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 11-16-21

Greatest book on happiness

The insights in this book are invaluable and are truly life-changing. I can’t thank Benjamin & Dan enough for compiling this amazing book. HUGE THANKS

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  • SMD
  • 11-05-21

If you only ever give one book to your most Loved…make it this!

This is a seriously one of the most impactful books I have ever read. If we taught this in our schools we could all buy eradicate Mental Health Issues in our Children.