Better and different!

As a career woman and divorcée, I turned 40 and swore off dating for the year because it seemed like a talent-free area for me. As I listened to this book I was thoroughly pleased with the insights provided, and I will listen again and again, in addition to recommending to all of my girlfriends, single AND married.

This book is genuinely different because it neither talks down to us, encourages us to hide our intelligence nor doles our rules we find unnatural. Instead it shows smart women how to use our brains to our advantage. The only thing I'm left wondering is whether the author is single :)

Cheers and best wishes to us all!

32 people found this helpful

Not for me

If you want to learn how to be a commodity then read and take this book in deeply.

I had high hopes for this book but it didn’t come thru.

I enjoyed the authors personal story. But this is basically a rehashing survey of every major modern theory to why a woman is not successful dating and what she can do to change herself to be successful... with a few extra of his personal thinking added in.

So If you are looking for an overview of theories putting the task on you as a woman to manipulate yourself according to what ‘men’ think or need in order to be loved then this could be an interesting book for you.

Otherwise, frankly, you Might do better to take a class in how to have actual relationship skills. I did and it took me farther than a well meaning opinionated survey book like this ever did. It also gave me tools to build my self esteem and by doing that inner work I developed the ability to respect myself better. As a result? I knew how to not play games in dating which is what this book says to do without calling it that. And I met the right guy.

Real attractiveness is not based on what a man thinks -and how you need to contort to be that - it’s based on your self esteem and the choices you make to choose your authentic life and wellbeing. Do the inner work. It will get you farther than jumping thru hoops. I never write posts like this but had to for this one.

Good luck.

27 people found this helpful

Logical & Valuable Guidance to Transform!!

Would you listen to The Tao of Dating again? Why?

I bought Dr. Ali's book the first time it was on sale and I listen to it often. "Often" for me adds up to over 130 hours of listening time to date! I listen to Dr. Ali during my runs ... over and over ... in order to hear reminders and to listen for valuable nuances that I missed the first time(s)! I find the ability to jump to specific chapters to listen to the messages that I need (at that particular time) very helpful.

What did you like best about this story?

Overall, what I like best about Dr. Ali's audiobook is that I get to hear positive, no nonsense advice on dating / relationships. In addition, he makes sense and I really like that he focuses on being authentic.

Have you listened to any of Ali Binazir, MD’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

I've listened to Dr. Ali on YouTube & tele seminars and he is equally dynamic and interesting to listen to. I can tell that he's doing the work he loves. His passion on the topic of dating absolutely shines through in this audiobook!

What insight do you think you’ll apply from The Tao of Dating?

I learned a tremendous amount of valuable information from Dr. Ali's book!

Here are some of the highlights that I have benefitted from:
- a healthier approach to relationships
- how to *not* take things personally
- the importance of being clear on what I really want
- re-focusing on feelings of fulfillment
- the value of gratitude (and other approaches)
- how to get the attention of the guy I'm interested in
- how to *apply* what I learned about dating to my life
- and there's much more that I'm still working on.... :)

Any additional comments?

Non-native English speakers will find Dr. Ali's audiobook easy to listen to. He's articulate/easy to understand, not too fast and gives examples that illustrate the point.

21 people found this helpful

Wow! Spectacular Book! Just what I needed!

Where does The Tao of Dating rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

This is the best audiobook I have listened to date. It is overflowing with life changing information presented in a way that is easy to consume. I devoured this audiobook.

What was one of the most memorable moments of The Tao of Dating?

One of the most memorable moments of hearing the author read the Tao of Dating came at the beginning. The caring in author's voice when he described why he wrote this book. He conveyed a depth of caring that moved me and renewed my faith that good men do exist.

Which character – as performed by Ali Binazir, MD – was your favorite?

not applicable

What’s an idea from the book that you will remember?

I have read/listened to many dating books and this one is the best so far. It creates personal growth and gives techniques for finding, attaining and keeping a great man. I am hopeful for my future success and highly recommend this book to every single woman.

25 people found this helpful

chapter 7 dissapointing

Chapter 7 authors personal beliefs that cheating is no big deal is emphasized with studies that only back up his point to of view. Cheating is referred to as " extra pairing relationships". Name is any way you want, not my idea of successful relationship.

7 people found this helpful

Audiobook needs written material

How would you have changed the story to make it more enjoyable?

A lot of the information you want or need for this book to be important needs to be in written format. By just listening to this information you miss out on too much information. The author could fix this by creating supplemental materials or doing Whispersync.

6 people found this helpful

Best Dating Book I've Read

Where does The Tao of Dating rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

I am not a huge audiobook connoisseur, but I have listened to enough of them to appreciate the unaffected American accent this book is read in and the overall superiority of the content of the book itself. I do read a good number of personal development books, metaphysical and philosophical/scientific stuff as well, and I was very impressed at how well the author wove together ideas from mysticism to rank and file scientific data in an interesting, easy-to-follow and enlightening way.

What was one of the most memorable moments of The Tao of Dating?

Really well-presented exercises. Also, the breakdown on how to recognize different "types" of men and the kinds of experiences each might be able to provide was very helpful. I especially liked the 100% non-judgmental tone of the book and the feeling of open-mindedness I sensed was behind the intent of the book. In other words, I felt it was written from the point of view of helping the listener define for herself what she wants in a "fulfilling" relationship and does not assume she's looking for a husband, a mini-van and 2.2 kids--although if that were the listener's goal, I feel this book would help her select based on what would actually be fulfilling for her within those circumstances rather than just getting the "menu" without getting the actual "food" (an analogy offered by the author). There is a really nice "core values" exercise I felt was very enlightening that supports this a great deal.

What does Ali Binazir, MD bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

It felt like I was hearing from a guy friend or relative, which I liked. Also, some of the visualization/guided meditation exercises are really great to have on audio.

Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

Yes, but I was interrupted because I had to go out to meet a friend--which was cool because I was able to see myself already integrating the information I received from the book when I was out on the town that night. I finished it the next day then started a second listening.

Any additional comments?

I am thankful that I found this well-written, well-researched, deep-yet-practical dating guide. I have lots of dating/relationship books on my bookshelf, but this is probably the only one I wouldn't be a little embarrassed to have someone see me reading. Very well done. Smart and helpful. Highly recommend.

12 people found this helpful

General content good

I liked the focus on reclaiming the divine feminine. The turn-off for me was in the last third of the book...the "how to." I am a grown woman & interested in a relationship with a grown man, not a boy whose "fragile ego" (author's words) I need to be careful not to harm, & whose ego I should manipulate with my divine feminine ways. The divine feminine & divine masculine are not ego-driven & self-serving, quite the opposite. I got the book because I was curious, not really because I need dating advice. I'm going to keep being my authentic self, living my life. I dont need or want a contrived relationship just to say I'm coupled. Recommend: Yes, but ignore the how-to section for the most part & get out of the ego, live your life & be authentic.

16 people found this helpful

the tao of gaslighting

Imagine that you're dating a guy who appears to be a good package (maybe even a doctor!) and he showers you with undue praise even before knowing you (you're perfect, you're a wellspring of compassion) aka "love bombing," and you feel excited about the possibilities; the guy seems so confident in what he says that he gets away with platitudes. Soon enough, your good feelings turn into confusion and anger as you try to figure out what this guy wants. He says you're smart but you interrupt him too often, you're perfect, but you need to suppress your masculinity and accept his help. He wants you to take care and pamper yourself, but also maintain a successful career, and also throw dinner parties. But please don't talk about your fears and stresses because emotional needs turn him off (he says so often). At some point you feel so drained, you say to heck with it, become single, and talk to female friends, and only then do you realize he was gaslighting you for his own gain. That's what the author does. If you listen to him, you'll try so hard to be a goddess to please him that you'll hate yourself for just being human.

I only picked up this book as I thought the author was a female doctor, like myself. When I realized it's written by a dude, I still gave it a chance, as I thought he might have based it on proper research. But no. G.L Lambert's Ho Tactics has much better research than this crap. If the author wanted to write a genuine book he would have interviewed smart women who are/have been in happy relationships - but then he wouldn't have gotten the chance to spread his own manipulation. The author mis-appropriates the spiritual philosophy of Daoism for material issues like relationships, and the result is a con similar to prosperity-gospel. Daoism doesn't say much about sex and relationships because cultivating spirituality is for inner peace, not outer gain!

I bet the positive reviews are from listeners who focused on the early chapters of the book for a pick-me-up because they may not have dated in a while. Most of the feel good language is quoted from Marianne Williamson, not the author himself. Since I'm already familiar MW and Dao philosophy, I paid attention to the author's own advice. He promises women that an abundance of wonderful men are out there, but you won't find them in single's events, church events, bars, clubs, long distance, or online dating. You have to host dinner parties and hope a friend brings a guy for you. He also suggests that you manifest Mr. Right through sheer mental powers. Then, to keep the relationship with Mr. Right, you have to: stop being so masculine, let him do things for you, listen to him without interruption, be sexually open and seductive, give him massages (I swear he says that 100 times), accept his infidelity as men are wired that way. As for what you can't do - can't be emotionally needy.

Why would any smart woman want to take on such a burden, damn! Why do we have to work this hard when we know plenty of needy, clingy, bitchy, un-compassionate and unhappy women in relationships?

The real Dao of dating is - nothing is guaranteed. It's not your fault. Animals are unsuccessful in their hunt for food vast majority of the time and yet they try. There is enough food to feed all humans on earth but millions of people starve while tonnes of food are wasted elsewhere. There is enough money in the world for everyone but 1% control 99%. Relationships are no different. Some people have many relationships, others don't find a match for a long time. Spirituality is for healing the pains of life, not for denying the existence of problems.

3 people found this helpful

Wow...Just WOW!!!!!

I rarely leave reviews but this book is amazing! If I could recommend one book to single women. ....this would be it! I was afraid this book was going to tell me that I need to try and look younger, thinner, and be into kinky wild sex in order to get a good man. Instead I finished the book with the realization that I AM A GODDESS MORE PRECIOUS THAN RUBIES. That I don't need to (and shouldn't ) settle. I love the Authors encouraging words on abundance and the statistics to back it up. I became aware of some things that I need to do differently. ...okay, a lot of things I should be doing differently, but this is not a book about shame. Just a side note, I'm a devout Christian, but did not feel the author was pushing any relious beliefs on me...more like age old wisdom. You will finish this book feeling loved, feeling at peace with who you are and excited about the adventure in front of you.

3 people found this helpful