• This Book Is Full of Spiders

  • Seriously, Dude, Don't Touch It
  • By: David Wong
  • Narrated by: Nick Podehl
  • Length: 14 hrs and 49 mins
  • 4.6 out of 5 stars (6,363 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

From David Wong, the writer of the cult sensation John Dies at the End comes another terrifying and hilarious tale of almost Armageddon at the hands of two hopeless heroes.

Warning: You may have a huge, invisible spider living in your skull. THIS IS NOT A METAPHOR. 

You will dismiss this as ridiculous fear-mongering. Dismissing things as ridiculous fear-mongering is, in fact, the first symptom of parasitic spider infection - the creature stimulates skepticism, in order to prevent you from seeking a cure. That's just as well, since the "cure" involves learning what a chainsaw tastes like. You can't feel the spider, because it controls your nerve endings. You won't even feel it when it breeds. And it will breed. 

Just stay calm, and remember that telling you about the spider situation is not the same as having caused it. I'm just the messenger. Even if I did sort of cause it. Either way, I won't hold it against you if you're upset. I know that's just the spider talking.

"Like an episode of AMC's "The Walking Dead" written by Douglas Adams of "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy." …Imagine a mentally ill narrator describing the zombie apocalypse while drunk, and the end result is unlike any other book of the genre. Seriously, dude, touch it and read it." –Washington Post

"Kevin Smith's Clerks meets H.P. Lovecraft in this exceptional thriller… David Wong (Jason Pargin) is a fantastic author with a supernatural talent for humor. If you want a poignant, laugh-out-loud funny, disturbing, ridiculous, self-aware, socially relevant horror novel than This Book is Full of Spiders: Seriously Dude, Don't Touch It is the one and only book for you." –SF Signal

©2012 David Wong (P)2012 Brilliance Audio, Inc.

What listeners say about This Book Is Full of Spiders

Average Customer Ratings
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Holy Velvet Jesus Painting, My Jimmies Are Rustled

This book is better written then David Wong's last novel, John Dies At The End. Which was a fun read. Unlike his last, when the plot ambles, it's more on purpose, concise, cleaner, and he doesn't use periods of gross out horror slapstick to cover weak points in the story. There's still gross out horror, but it's intuitive. I mean, it's a book about sentient spiders. Uggghhuuuhhuuherr Blahhhh, my skin is crawling!

I can't remember the last time I was wide awake at 4 AM glaring at shadows in my room, certain that they would suddenly move. Maybe when I was eight? Or since the last time I watched Army of Darkness?

Don't judge. It was scary. I normally don't like horror, but when you get midway through this book you almost have to keep listening, you have to have the narrator tell you that the spiders are taken care of, and that everything will be okay. It's that well written. This book was like a literary roller coaster, terrifying, with just the right kind of humor and humanity to make it exciting. There are some really good intuitions of the human condition, including Wong's take on the Babel Effect, without getting too preachy. The alternate point of views is really interesting, as you get to see situations from every perspective. I would definitely recommend this book.

57 people found this helpful

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If You're Considering This... Go Ahead!

My title is really how I feel: If you read the summary or looked at the cover and thought, "I might like this," then go ahead and buy it. You will NOT regret it. Now, it is just as strange as it sounds, but it is also extremely entertaining. I jumped at the opportunity to listen to this book because I enjoyed John Dies at the End (paper, audio, and movie). As always in cases like this, I feared disappointment, but Wong's second book is even stronger than John because it is more tightly plotted. While I would have been hesitant to recommend John to just anyone, this book is more traditional without losing any of the edge or insanity that made John so fun. I was also concerned that the narrator had changed, but Nick Pedehl does an outstanding job, and I really could not choose which narrator I prefer.

If you like crazy fun, comedy, random insanity, or just hate spiders, I highly recommend this book to you.

42 people found this helpful

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    3 out of 5 stars
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Stupid/smart Gen-Y horror/satire

If you’re not familiar with David Wong (AKA Jason Pargin), he writes for the stupid-yet-brilliant website Cracked, which deconstructs movie plots, videogames, and commonly-held beliefs with ironic, profanity-laced Gen-Y snark. For better or worse, that’s pretty much what his novels are, too -- a marriage of the Evil Dead trilogy and witty commentary on different subjects.

This Book is Full of Spiders isn't quite as off-the-wall entertaining as its predecessor, but it's still a fun read, and mixes some maturity in with its signature goofball humor.

The plot riffs on standard horror movie tropes, in this case about evil spiders that invade their victims, turning them into flesh-eating monsters. Quickly, the government sets up a quarantine, trapping David on one side while the impulsive dumbass John and David's nerdily sweet, resourceful girlfriend Amy must find their way through the cordon of special agents, paranoid townspeople, and disgusting creatures. There are also appearances by a badass detective, a psychiatrist who’s a bit too rational, the sagely occult expert, Doctor Marconi, and David’s not-too-bright-but-faithful-in-her-own-way dog, Molly.

Wong's treatment of familiar conventions is clever, and raises the question of whether the zombies would really be the worst thing about a zombie outbreak. Perhaps the worst thing, Wong suggests, would actually be an outbreak of human nature, in the form of trigger-happy vigilantes and survivalists, zombie-movie-crazed man-children with hero fantasies, the internet, and good-hearted people trying to save their friends. The “villains” might simply be the people acting rationally. Definitely one of the more self-aware, ironic horror stories ever.

Unfortunately, the book is weaker in other departments. The narrative is often thin and jumpy, as though Wong is writing from a storyboard in his head, but neglecting to show clearly how events got from state A to state B. Readers who have seen their share of B-movies will probably picture where he’s going with it, everyone else will be confused. Of course, the first book probably filtered out most of the latter group. The ending, disappointingly, leaves loose ends dangling.

Still, I enjoyed this one nearly as much as John Dies at the End. We get to know the three lovable losers, David, John, and Amy (with Amy being the least loserly) better as characters, and their thought processes made me smile. Perhaps it helped that audiobook narrator Nick Podehl gave them each a bit of personality of his own.

30 people found this helpful

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Seriously, Dude, Don't Touch It.

This guy has great ideas but his story flows like it would if written by a kid with ADHA after eating candy bars and drinking a big gulp. I wanted to like it. It had so much potential, but it fell soooo short of what it could have been. I probably should have followed the advice on the cover. David wong/Jason Pargin needs a better editor.

30 people found this helpful

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Gory Good Fun

Full of cringe worthy violence, and laugh-out-loud raunch, Book Full of Spiders is a dementedly good listen. I was sad not to hear Stephen Thorne narrate, since he did a wonderful job with the first book, John Dies at the End; but Nick Podehl sounds like he's actually closer in age to the characters. Podehl also did a wonderful job reading The King Killer Chronicles, so I was glad to listen to him take on a new world. Sadly, this book wasn't as good as John Dies at the End, it drags for a while, and the never-ending bizarreness factor that twisted the first book just wasn't up to speed here. Still, it's good to back in the hands of Mr. Wong and the weird encounters he can't stay away from.

27 people found this helpful

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Love this book. As good as the first, 'John Dies'


...but I don't know that any review I can give will do it justice.

I left a brief review for the first book intending to update it later before I found out that's not possible. So here's a more detailed review that covers the overall story of both books.

It's about a pair of Gen Y underachievers who, through experiences I can't relate without ruining anything, are gifted with a sensitivity to the supernatural and extra-dimensional. Their new perceptions give them glances at, and make them targets of, cloak-and-dagger forces that are inimical to humankind and..... just effing weird.

One guy is the irresponsible friend, the other is the straight-man, slightly less irresponsible friend. You'll get to accompany them as they try and manage their slacker, workaday, part time crud job lives - and at the same time deal with secret, heinous powers. Without any proof, it's just them against the world.

It's a contradiction, but their ineptitude has great poise, and you forgive their ridiculousness because 1) they're good-natured dudes at heart and 2) they're friggin hilarious.

I highly recommend this book. However, I've seen from the other reviews that it's pretty polarizing; people either love it or are unimpressed. I use it as litmus paper to see if my tastes are calibrated to other reviewers' when looking for suggestions. I def suggest checking a reviewer's history before taking their word on this book just in case it isn't your lager colour. If it is though, I promise you'll be well-sated.

17 people found this helpful

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David Wong in nuts!!

Outstanding horror comedy. David Wong delivers another outstanding novel. I can't wait for his next project to be released. I need one more word to submit this. 6 over, cool.

14 people found this helpful

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Why no Stephen Thorne

I don't normally take the time to sit down and write a review, but I felt it was needed in this case. The previous book (john dies at the end) was narrated superbly by Stephen Thorne. It was a surprise to me when I started listening to this book is full of spiders that the narrator had changed from an energized sound Thorne to a drab, slow sounding Nick Podehl.

It's always a little jarring when there are changes in narrators through a series of books, but this change was almost as bad as the change from Tim Curry to Lemony Snicket in A Series of unfortunate events. It really takes you out of the book.

As for the book itself, it feels like it's missing a lot of the crudeness that was added by John's character in the first novel. Some might have found that a little distasteful, but it's what gives John dies at the end a lot of it's charm. This book is full of spiders feels like it's been run through the filter press that's squeezed out most of the random banter and frantic jumping around that made the first novel great. There is hardly a mention of soy sauce in the entire novel.

This book is full of spiders is not the action packed sequel to John dies at the end. Instead it's more like a watered down episode of 24 with the word terrorists replaced with spiders. It takes awhile to get started and when if finally does, you're racing along on a bicycle instead of an awesome dirt bike.

14 people found this helpful

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Characters Aren't the Same as in JDatE

Would you try another book from David Wong and/or Nick Podehl?

I look forward to David Wong's next book.

What other book might you compare This Book Is Full of Spiders to and why?

This book must be compared to the first in the series, John Dies at the End, and while I found the second in the series enjoyable, it lacked several things from that book. The characters seemed to have changed: they are less funny and more scared. The narration, while perfectly fine, also affects the way the characters come off. Stephen Thorne's narration was excellent and is missed. I'm very tempted to read this off the page to see how much of the difference between the two books is the narrator; it must be at least a small part of it. But there is no doubt that these aren't the same David and John we saw the first time around. They are too serious, to scared and too conventional.

What three words best describe Nick Podehl’s performance?

Not Stephen Thorne.

If this book were a movie would you go see it?

Yes. It might actually be an excellent movie.

Any additional comments?

Despite my 3 star review, I think this is a good listen. If you are coming from John Dies at the End, and loved it as much as I did, nothing I can say will stop you from listening anyway, so dig in, and I hope you like it more than I did.

11 people found this helpful

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Just fell short. Way short.

Would you recommend this book to a friend? Why or why not?

After writing this review I realized I probably wouldn't.

If you’ve listened to books by David Wong before, how does this one compare?

The last book I listened to was "John Dies at the End" and I REALLY enjoyed that book. There were so many elements of it that just clicked for me. It was/is so fun, fresh, funny, odd ball, horrible (in a good way), surprizing and really well narrated.
So I guess that the bar had been set pretty high when I started this book. The greatest disappointment was the change in narrators. Stephen R. Thorne (narrator of John Dies at the End) was just excellent in his depiction of the characters - especially the character of John, whom he plays as a down key sort of guy, I really liked that. All his other character's voices are well defined and you are able to tell them apart and visualize them.
The narrator of this book, Nick Podehl, does exactly the opposite and John is more hyper and yells allot. It is extreemly jarring going from one book to the next. As well, many of his character voices sound the same so I sometimes was lost in what was happening in conversations - who is saying what. His female voices are straight out of a bad Saturday Night Live skit, just horrible and all the same.
Ok I get that maybe they might have had difficulty getting back the narrator of the first book - maybe it was life, schedules, whatever - but WHY chose a new narrator whose style is so very different and is just not as skilled? So VERY disappointing.
Also gone was allot of the humour and fun. I get that more serious things happen in this book, but I think it is at the forsaking of the characters personalities. Possibly the author was trying to end the series and show some growth in his characters - but it just felt wrong and fell flat for me. Sometimes I caught myself silently growning and wanting to smack my forehead.
There is a death at the end that was just completely unnecessary and made me very angry. Really angry. That was just bs. Just horrible. You know what? I’m still angry. If I can ever figure out a way of deleting it from my audio book I will. It however may not be necessary as I doubt I will ever be listening to it again. By the way, since buying John Dies at the End a few months ago, I have listened to it three times.
Ok what did I like. Some of the humor was ok. Some of the ideas were fun, interesting, refreshing.
To be honest I was sort of relived when it was over.
Also I waited at least a month after listening to this book so that I could have some time to really reflect on what I liked and what bothered me.

What aspect of Nick Podehl’s performance would you have changed?

I would have replaced Nick Podehl with the narrator of the first book "John Dies at the End" - Stephen R. Thorne

Any additional comments?

Please be more considerate when choosing narrators.

11 people found this helpful

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Profile Image for Lora
  • Lora
  • 09-25-15

favourite book of all time!

I have listened to this book about 4 times and read it myself about 3 times also. It is such a great book, well written, enjoyable and funny. highly recommend if you enjoy fantasy horror comedy.

6 people found this helpful

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  • Louis Zaidman
  • 05-06-16

Fantastic book

I've read it five times and listened to it once. Can't recommend it higher. In one word, awesome!

4 people found this helpful

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  • skye
  • 11-08-18

There is a reason 'John dies at the end' is famous

And it's because it's a great series. If you've not read the first in the series and are worried about jumping in, don't. I started with this book and still really enjoyed it.

3 people found this helpful

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  • Paul
  • 08-31-15

Brilliant story, Brilliant Narrator

Really enjoyed this. made me laugh, cry, and shiver. Did enjoy John dies at the end, but thought this was better. Highly recommended.

3 people found this helpful

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  • Anna Victoria
  • 09-26-18

Amazing and so funny

I loved this book!! It's amazing, funny, and not like any other book I read before! This author is absolutely unik and I laugh servel times! The story is with out a doubt worth reading!!!

2 people found this helpful

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  • Kentoski
  • 09-09-16

hugely entertaining sci-fi-ish romp

A rollercoaster ride of occult, conspiracy, infection and spider, set in the sleepy town of UNDISCLOSED.

Highly recommended.

2 people found this helpful

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  • Danni R
  • 01-28-20

Fantastic

I love this series, it gets me through long journeys, is enjoyable, fascinating and incredibly written.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Benita
  • 03-28-18

Fantastic

Book was amazing, funny and creepy.
worth the listen/read
the narrator did an amazing job. I enjoyed every second of it!

1 person found this helpful

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  • Kelly Doak
  • 08-01-16

Velvet Jesus

Absolutely hilarious and absurd, occasionally scary, or at least disgusting. This is my second listen through and I loved it as much as the first go around.

1 person found this helpful

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    4 out of 5 stars
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  • Alan
  • 08-14-22

Funny, silly, disturbing, and sometimes scary.

Enjoyed the book, it was laugh out loud in places and creepy in others. Enjoyed it so much I ordered the first book, John dies at the end, from Amazon, can't get it from audible for some reason? Missing the great performance and voices of Nick Podehl so had to remind myself with a quick listen ,so I had them perfectly in my head as I read. Will be getting the third book soon.

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  • clare et.al
  • 04-13-16

a stoner flick book

if you like stoners dlicks such as pinnapple express and dude where is my car and of course the 1st book "john dies at the end" i totally recommend this book. it is funny surreal crude and has more brains and charater development than many literary dramas.

low stake writting at its best

2 people found this helpful

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  • paul
  • 01-15-16

a frisky funny jaunt that provokes thought.

This book will make you laugh. The best thing though is it does it with good interesting material

1 person found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 01-10-22

Great.

Fantastic apocalypse novel from beginning to end. The narrators performance is stellar as well.

Cannot say the same for the other two books in the series, which both begin interestingly, but quickly lose their focus. The narration in the other two books is also not nearly as good as this one.

Overall, read this book but skip the rest of the series- You won't find what you love from this book in the others.

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  • drooly
  • 09-28-21

A fun story about not zombies

really enjoyed the book. the humour suited me to a tee and as well as being about 2 screw ups, a super cop and a plucky heroine, there are some insightful observations about how we see ourselves and our role in society.
Definitely will recommend the book

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  • Kirstin McGrath
  • 08-10-21

My favourite audio book of all time!

Perfect. Not only is this book series my favourite; I love the crazy, hilarious, sci-fi, stoner movie madness that is this book.

The narrator in this audiobook creates a unique performance with each of the character voices, even the female ones. Sometimes men reading for women characters can sound a little annoying, but not here. He puts a lot of real feeling and emotion behind the voices and makes for a very funny and enjoyable listen. I enjoyex this so much I've just finished my third listen since downloading.

My only quarm is that the first book isn't available on Audible!

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  • Nathan Jackson
  • 07-08-18

very funny and addictive

very funny and addictive great read.you should hear this. six more words Remaining to this.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 04-18-18

original

something different first book is better. More soy sauce trips. My fav was the bullet factory, that was organized randomness. Really liked the spiders tho, makes your skin crawl