• Try Softer

  • A Fresh Approach to Move Us out of Anxiety, Stress, and Survival Mode-and into a Life of Connection and Joy
  • By: Aundi Kolber
  • Narrated by: Aundi Kolber
  • Length: 5 hrs and 57 mins
  • 4.8 out of 5 stars (422 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

In a world that preaches a "try harder" gospel-just keep going, keep hustling, keep pretending we're all fine-we're left exhausted, overwhelmed, and so numb to our lives. If we're honest, we've been overfunctioning for so long, we can't even imagine another way. How else will things get done? How else will we survive?

It doesn't have to be this way. Aundi Kolber believes that we don't have to white-knuckle our way through life. In her debut book, Try Softer, she'll show us how God specifically designed our bodies and minds to work together to process our stories and work through obstacles. Through the latest psychology, practical clinical exercises, and her own personal story, Aundi equips and empowers us to connect us to our truest self and truly live. This is the "try softer" life.

In Try Softer, you'll learn how to: know and set emotional and relational boundaries; make sense of the difficult experiences you've had; identify your attachment style-and how that affects your relationships today; move through emotions rather than get stuck by them; and grow in self-compassion and talk back to your inner critic. Trying softer is sacred work. And while it won't be perfect or easy, it will be worth it. Because this is what we were made for: a living, breathing, moving, feeling, connected, beautifully incarnational life.

©2020 Andrea M. Kolber (P)2020 eChristian

What listeners say about Try Softer

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Trauma therapy simplified for us all!

Great book! She simplifies complex trauma informed treatment using a multidisciplinary approach. She uses biological, mental, and spiritual concepts to promote healing.

4 people found this helpful

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Best book I have read in a long time

I could not stop listening to the author. I finished this book to the end in record time. I only stopped to eat, and sleep. I highly recommend this book to anyone who has ever had any type of dysfunction in your life. Her love for Jesus and her family are so inspiring. My own stress level is in the red zone due to a toxic marriage. She has given me confidence to change, and confidence to reaffirm and remind myself that I am called beloved by God and I am valued. Thank you for all of your hard work. This book has changed me for the better. God bless you. Go ahead and order this book. You will not have any regrets. Gift a book for a friend who is struggling. Love them enough to help them understand they are loved and valued.

4 people found this helpful

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Exactly what I needed

Exactly what I needed next in my emotional & spiritual journey. There aren't a lot of books focused specifically on emotional healing that integrate Christian beliefs. Aundi did a great job address BIG T and little t traumas and bringing it back to the Word for healing. I highly recommend this book. So glad it came up on my book recommendations bc trust me, you don't want to miss this one! ❤

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this book is packed with wisdom and practical help

This is one of the best books I’ve read related to mental health, story work, and growth. It combines the most solid research-based information about attachment and interpersonal neurobiology with compassionate practical helps to apply these truths to your own story of brokenness and redemption. I am a Christian and a therapist as well, and I appreciated the author incorporating her own Christian faith as part of the healing journey. Faith and the Bible are not used to dismiss or for spiritual bypassing, which I greatly value. I listened on audible, read by the author, and she has a delightful speaking voice and cadence. I will, though, buy the physical book because this will be a resource for years to come.

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Antidote to Trying Harder

In a world of "try harder" messaging from so many in Christian circles, this book provides another much-needed perspective that integrates research-based approaches along with biblical perspectives.

Such great advancements in understanding the nervous system are being made through work by Elizabeth Stanley, Kathy Kain, Stephen Porges, Irene Lyon, Dr Howard Schubiner and so many more, yet, at times it seems like Christian circles are unaware and sometimes promote (unbiblical) top-down/thinking brain approaches. This book helps illustrate why that's counterproductive for someone who has experienced trauma, or even people who haven't.

Without getting bogged down in theory, Kolber shares enough theory to build conviction behind the theme in each chapter, then goes on to share extremely practical and helpful exercises that the reader can do the moment they read them. I'm still so impressed that she made such deep theory so approachable and simple - not an easy feat!

I listened first via Audible and it was fun to hear the author read and express her points - with such empathy and softness in her voice. Then, because it was so impactful, I bought the book and highlighted/flagged it up because the message is so important for me and the women I interact with. The fact that I bought both versions demonstrates how important I think this work is.

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THIS is the method I’ve been searching for

Aundi writes from her own story and all of her educational background. Anyone (no matter their religious belief) can gain so many helpful tools and and get a great start to dealing with our brains and body’s and the trauma they hold. It’s time to get unstuck! As a recovering addict with not great self Dialogue this book is helping me tremendously. Thank you! I will be going through the work book as soon as I’m done listen.

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So good. Timely and needed.

This is such a needed and timely book for society and for me personally. Christian culture tends to push us to “try harder” despite the fact that Jesus never preached anything similar. His yoke is light, right? This is the book about integrated compassion and kindness that we desperately need. Aundi Kolber not only writes well on a much-needed topic, she also narrates delightfully.

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What a gift this book is!

As a counselor in training this book could not have been listened to at a better time. Aundi uncovers practical wisdom from a Christian and clinical perspective that is applicable for all! I’ve learned so much about myself and my future profession. This to date is a favorite book of mine and I’m so thankful I came across it from listening to my podcasts!

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A gentle word of hope to those who feel driven to succeed

A great read for those who are driven to try harder and feel like they are not measuring up to their own goals or expectations. This book gives one permission to be gentle with yourself and try softer

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Life Changing

I can’t express my love for this book and Aundi. I’m deeply grateful for the content and for her story… it is life changing.

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  • Curtis Karmatz
  • 02-20-21

Not religious studies!

While this book has the potential to be helpful, these methods and suggestions are diminished with biblical references. If you are not a devout Christian the religious overtones are an unnecessary distraction. There was no indication in the sample that the author used biblical references to illustrate most of her points. Since she is a therapist it makes you wonder if she only councils Christians who are familiar with the bible to illustrate her thoughts. For those of us who are not as familiar with the bible and are not interested in it, sifting through these references is arduous and laborious to pick up the crumbs of wisdom that are left over! The idea of trying softer is novel and catchy. I truely beleive that this concept shoul have been exponded in a universal way, rather than a judeo-christian tratise.

3 people found this helpful

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  • Kate
  • 04-08-21

Such a powerful book

I’m so grateful this book was written and that I had a chance to listen to it.
As I’ve listened it has changed the way I’ve approached my life, I especially loved the lessons about not “white knuckling” though life.
So easy to read and accessible to apply the techniques even from a place of trauma/pain.
Highly recommend.