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TODD HANSON is the head writer of The Onion.
This piece was recorded at Un-Cabaret's series "Say the Word", featuring great comedy writers reading their own original first-person nonfiction at the Skirball Cultural Center in Los Angeles.
ADVISORY: Some material may not be appropriate for minors.
"A comedy be-in!" (Rolling Stone)
"Original, deep, smart, surprising, and very funny!" (The Onion)