Beautifully Sad

How someone could hate themselves so much is astonishing. This is a beautifully written yet heartbreaking book. I enjoyed that it is read by Portia herself, her warm voice soothes you over even as you wish you could go back to that time and grab her and shake her and tell her that she was beautiful and to stop hating herself! I was engrossed from the first sentence.

20 people found this helpful

Painful

Very, very hard to read. The day to day horror of being anorexic/bulemic literally made me sick to my stomach. Her body image was very much tied into the fact that she was hiding her homosexuality and trying to portray the story of someone else...someone that she thought would please her mother and the world. Once she was willing to come out and risk her career, she was able to begin healing the eating disorder. Her relationship with Ellen DeGeneres is not featured in the book and only mentioned at the very end. Painful, but moving.

17 people found this helpful

For All Dieters, not just Anorexic Girls

What did you love best about Unbearable Lightness?

She speaks from the perspective of someone who has not just been there, but who came out the other side truly understanding what it was she had done, and why. It isn't clinical, but she documents her experience without the reader/listener feeling as if she is trying to make you feel sorry for her in any way. Very developed mature presentation of the facts of her circumstances, but you see into her psyche and emotions in a way that is so open that it is nearly intimate.

What was one of the most memorable moments of Unbearable Lightness?

When she was alone in the hotel room, in agonizing physical pain, even understanding why it was she was hurting, and yet unable to stop herself from continuing the ritual OCD behavior that made up her disorder. The description was so real, so vivid and raw, that it touched my heart and was somewhat of an emotional experience.

Which character – as performed by Portia de Rossi – was your favorite?

Herself.

If you were to make a film of this book, what would be the tag line be?

Couldn't do better than the front of the book: A story of loss and gain.

Any additional comments?

I only read the book because I was curious about what kind of woman Ellen Degeneres had in her life. Ellen has helped me see life in a more positive way, and I had to ask myself what kind of woman her wife was, to back up such a powerful and inspiring person as she is. Well I expected a book on anorexia, and being a very overweight middle aged man, I did not think there would be anything that I would get from it on a personal level, other than to satisfy my curiosity about Portia's character . Well I was very wrong. Although the results were different, she got very skinny, and I got very fat, the basic attitudes about food and even some of the OCD behaviors were exactly what I had been through. Even some childhood experiences were similar. I'd basically been on a diet every day since first grade, and had become progressively fatter doing many of the same things Portia was doing. In fact, in all my life, the only time I was a normal weight was during high school when I worked out like a mad man and starved myself. But like Portia, I knew my behavior was not what others were doing, but it was 'working' and I patted myself on the back. Of course, as soon as I quit starving due to health issues that frightened me (similar to Portia again) I got even heavier. So long story short, I have been applying the advice she gives in the book about never dieting, never restricting foods. I also have adopted a plant based way of eating. And since I first read this in May '12, I've lost about 80 lbs. My health is returning, and I'm eating what I want when I want it, without starving or glutting, just listening to my body. I'd heard that advice before, but never in a way that actually sunk in or connected with me in any way. She says the book is for anyone who has been on a diet. I didn't believe that when I picked up the book originally. But I've now read the hard copy 3 times and listened to the audiobook. Every time I do, I pick up another insight into my own lifelong behavior and it helps me make further healthy adjustments in my attitude and actions. This is a must read if you have struggled with weight either way.

29 people found this helpful

Wow.

Portia takes you into her world as an anorexic. She is more honest than most people are with themselves, let alone millions of strangers. I'm not sure if this book would help others with eating disorders, but it helps those who don't have one understand what it's like. I did feel that by the end it was all wrapped up in too tidy a bow, with little explanation of the struggle to come back from the illness, but the journey she takes you on is so incredible I didn't want to give it less than 5 stars. I watched Portia every week on Ally McBeal, but I never realized how articulate and funny she really is.

11 people found this helpful

Recommended

While clearly written by a celebrity - keeping her cards close to her vest - still recommended. The issue of women's body image and hollywood's impact on us and it's stars is an important one that needs to be discussed more. I enjoyed the reading as well.

9 people found this helpful

The definitive book on Anorexia/Bulimia. Period.

I would recommend this to anyone that can't relate/doesn't understand the mindset of an Anorexic/Bulimic. I'd also recommend this to people that want a career in acting or modeling because of de Rossi's well-deserved rage and frustration with the pressure to conform to the unhealthy and dangerous "size zero" ideal that the entertainment and modeling industry forces upon women, young and old. From beginning to end, the author guides you through the day to day, moment by moment hell that she went through to meet societal standards so that she could earn a living, petrified that her next meal could trigger another dangerous binge. This is also a candid memoir about a time in Hollywood when stating that you are gay meant the end of your career. She lived in fear of being "outed" and stalked by the press, becoming tabloid fodder and never being able to work again. Heartbreaking and devastating. de Rossi is such a talented author that I wish she'd write more books in the future. Her intense and vivid style of writing instantly draws the listener in. This is a definitive "must listen."

5 people found this helpful

amazing!!!

this is officially one of the best books i have ever read! the way the author told the story was incredible. so honest, candid, and it unfolds very naturally. her voice and her words captivated me in every moment. there were parts that made me laugh and also parts that made me cry. i felt as if i was with the author and that i in her shoes.

as someone who has suffered with anorexia and bulimia, i was able to relate so much to her story. the manner in which she describes how debilitating and life threatening anorexia was for her and the opposite swing that she experienced into bulimia and uncontrollable binge eating. this book reminds me that i am not alone and so honestly details the hell that someone with an eating disorder goes through each and every day. if your want to know the hell of what it's like to have an eating disorder, this book is such a graphic and realistic depiction.

5 people found this helpful

Riveting

It is generally not a good decision to be the narrator of your own book, but I think it was a good decision in this case. After listening to this, I felt like I truly understood what it was like to have an eating disorder. Not only was the writing first rate, I felt like the author was as true and honest as she could be while detailing her experience. There was not a false note anywhere.

4 people found this helpful

Negative Self Talk

Haunting... A very truthful tell on the negative self talk, which accompanies disordered eating behaviors.

9 people found this helpful

Easily one of top 3 books I've ever read.

I never have a dieting problem. I never care about my weight. I bought this book mainly because I am a big fan of her and Ellen. To my surprise, I found myself relating so well with Portia's stories. I can imagine that the parts about self criticism, imposter syndrome, self-blaming, and the insecurity about any imperfection we have that our inner voice keeps reminding us are relatable to most people. The fear that we might never be good enough for our dream job is very relatable to me. Even though my dream job is to become a successful tenured professor, which is something very different from being a celebrity, there are so many parallels in the stories (many, if not most, of PhD students and professors suffer from imposter syndrome).

This book is not just about eating disorder. It is about self acceptance, about being kind to yourself, about being realistic regarding the standard and expectation you set for yourself, which is a very important message to everyone. I am very grateful that Portia shares her personal stories with us.

Audio version review: I have read this book when it came out in hard-cover many years ago. I am so glad that I get an audio version along with it! Listening to Portia's voice saying all those harsh words to herself is so powerful. Her excellent audio performance gives me the perspective of how unrealistic and unreasonable negative self talk can often be. It makes me understand how she had felt so deeply it is like I was in the journey with her.

2 people found this helpful