1 title per month from Audible’s entire catalog of best sellers, and new releases.
Access a growing selection of included Audible Originals, audiobooks and podcasts.
You will get an email reminder before your trial ends.
Your Premium Plus plan is $14.95 a month after 30 day trial. Cancel anytime.
Buy for $28.00

Buy for $28.00

Pay using card ending in
By confirming your purchase, you agree to Audible's Conditions of Use and Amazon's Privacy Notice. Taxes where applicable.

Publisher's Summary

Stop working on yourself as an individual and start working on your relationship as a couple, with the help of the renowned family therapist and bestselling author of The New Rules of Marriage 

“This book is a road map for all of us who seek true intimacy.”—GWYNETH PALTROW, founder and CEO of goop

Not much is harder than figuring out how to love your partner in all their messy humanness—and there’s also not much that’s more important. 

At a time when toxic individualism is rending our society at every level, bestselling author and renowned marriage counselor Terrence Real sees how it poisons intimate relationships in his therapy practice, where he works with couples on the brink of disaster. The good news: Warmer, closer, more passionate relationships are possible if you have the right tools. 

In his transformative new book Us, Real brilliantly observes how our winner-takes-all culture infiltrates families with devastating results: repetitive fights that go nowhere, or a distant relationship in which partners end up living “alone together.” With deft insight, humor, and charm, Real guides you to transform your relationship into one that’s based on compassion, collaboration, and closeness. 

Us is a groundbreaking guide to a new science-backed skillset—one that will allow you to get past your knee-jerk reactions and tap into your wiser, more collaborative self. With a novelist’s flair, Real shares the stories of couples whose relationships have been saved by these skills and pans out to the culture that reinforces our dysfunction. If you and your partner are backed into separate corners of “you” and “me,” this book will show the way back to “us.” With Us, your true relationship can begin. 

*Includes a downloadable PDF of charts and diagrams from the book

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio. 

©2022 Terrence Real (P)2022 Random House Audio

Critic Reviews

“A beautiful and important book, particularly for the moment we are in.”—Bruce Springsteen, from the foreword

“When I need advice, I call Terry Real. His decades of clinical experience, research, and wisdom are invaluable to my patients, colleagues, and friends. Us brings his advice to life. It is the book that we all need to read to create more thriving and intimate connections.”—Esther Perel, New York Times bestselling author and podcast host of Where Should We Begin

“Terry Real is a wise, honest, and charming guide. This book is a road map for all of us who seek true intimacy. Real’s approach teaches us how to step outside of the culture of individualism and embrace our interconnectedness. We can use it to heal a single relationship and to shift our collective culture.”—Gwyneth Paltrow, founder and CEO of goop

What listeners say about Us

Average Customer Ratings
Overall
  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    219
  • 4 Stars
    12
  • 3 Stars
    2
  • 2 Stars
    4
  • 1 Stars
    2
Performance
  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    179
  • 4 Stars
    18
  • 3 Stars
    6
  • 2 Stars
    4
  • 1 Stars
    1
Story
  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    184
  • 4 Stars
    12
  • 3 Stars
    2
  • 2 Stars
    4
  • 1 Stars
    3

Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.

Sort by:
Filter by:
  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

I preferred Fierce Intimacy

While I absolutely loved both books, this one had more extraneous information than I would have wanted my first go around. Fierce intimacy gets to the heart of the matter much more quickly and effectively. This adds the element of society which is very important and good, but it distracts from the central message which Fierce Intimacy got to the heart of. But you since I loved Fierce Intimacy so much it was nice to have a follow up book with more - like the story you don’t want to end. Bottom line, listen to both, but Fierce Intimacy first.

5 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    2 out of 5 stars

For the dudes

Hello, would you like to read a book about men and how they can change from being abusive and destructive by having just one conversation with this therapist to the stars?
Me neither.

3 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    2 out of 5 stars

Keep politics OUT!

This book made a lot of sense for relationships. However, the liberal spin on many of the situations made me want to skip parts. Terry is clearly on the far left. It’s a shame he couldn’t have the discipline to keep social and controversial issues out of a brilliant technique. Get off your political soapbox Terry. If you want to address social justice issues, why not write a book on that separately? People buy this book for relationship help, not to hear your stance on Politics. This could have been epic! So sad.

2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

A must read

Terry Real has written a book that leaves no stone left unturned. This is his life’s work. If every human read this book, we would all learn to accept ourselves for who we are, by pealing back the layers of trauma and disunity, and become whole. We would learn to be gentle on ourselves, and could then learn to open our hearts, and see us all as one race.

The book is a journey that joins all the dots, helping to make life make sense. It is a map to find our way home, and learn to live in unity with all people, animals and our beautiful Mother Earth.

Thank you Terry for saying the hard stuff, gracefully, and calling out bullsh#t when needed. I personally feel grateful for warriors like Terry, who dedicate their life to helping themselves, so they can help others.

2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Amazing Insight and Help for Healers

I’ve been reading Terrence Real’s work for some time but this book completes the circle for me. As a family lawyer and counselor, it is important for me to be able to identify and therapeutically confront the systemic issues I see daily in both of my practices. I am thankful for a book like this that exposes those cultural and societal norms that need to be changed person by person, time after time. I am so grateful for this amazing piece of literature to help guide myself and my clients. Thank you!

1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

The Real Deal

If you want to understand why you may not feel well, why you may be struggling in relationships and why the world is in such a mess - please listen to Terence Real put forth a master thesis in wise, compassionate language about relationality. A brilliantly and warmly articulated invitation for us to get over ourselves; to move beyond the polarities of irrational and rational - feminine and masculine - eros and logos - into a divine dance integrating and respecting both/and. I found this book to be balm for my spirit which has been feeling battered by the harshness, selfishness and greed of our out of control culture. Take comfort here. Learn how each if us CAN make a difference, every moment of everyday. Thank you, beautiful Sacred Masculine, for your contribution to solution.

1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Landmark

A great book that embeds some classic Terry-isms along with some new and groundbreaking insights. Grateful to have read/listened to this book.

1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Beautiful

This book is refreshing it is a much needed explanation of human beings and our connection to one another
It is for living in love, living in a higher frequency mode

1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Pivotal Relations Book

Strong usable examples of exercises and thought guides specifically for adult relationships. I appreciated how he linked out behaviors into community and culture as well. Highly recommended.

1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Us by Terry Real

Wow. This audiobook is amazing. It is not only for therapists. Everyone should read it. Definitely listen to it again. Thank you Terry

1 person found this helpful

Sort by:
Filter by:
  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    1 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Owain Greville
  • Owain Greville
  • 08-01-22

woke

woke post-modern rubbish. nothing here of any use. white bad. man bad. west bad. christian bad. such a shame.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Anonymous User
  • Anonymous User
  • 07-08-22

US, by Terrence Real

Well worth every single word spoken & heard! Loved every chapter!
Everyone should read this book!

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Claudine
  • Claudine
  • 06-24-22

An incredible read!

This is one of those books that I know I will keep coming back to! It’s an incredible body of work that invites all of us to challenge our relational beliefs and move into something more whole and rewarding. Thank you Terry.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for frox
  • frox
  • 06-12-22

practical magic - essential healing

Compassionate, humble, kind, powerful, humorous, direct, US offers a healing map for humanity. More than a therapeutic treatise exploring a road to relationship recovery, this work invites the reader to pick ourselves up, bring ourselves down and relate from our hearts. Risk vulnerability, dare intimacy, surrender to peace, ease, the joy of connection to self, others and all that is. This is the work of a lifetime. It’s the work of recovery. It’s the work of salvation for all life (in my humble opinion!). Thank you, Terry - your words touch my heart! 💗

Sort by:
Filter by:
  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for C P ALFONSO
  • C P ALFONSO
  • 07-30-22

A Magnificent Book Masterfully Written and Read

I come from a background of trauma and have never had a relationship that wasn't profoundly unhealthy. Terry Real's teachings give me hope that one day I will be functional within a relationship. There is too much information and wisdom to absorb in one round of listening. This is a book to be studied in depth and I have literally spent weeks with it on a constant loop. To me, every story is poignant and instructive and every time I hear each chapter, it is fresh and new. Luckily, Terry's reading voice makes re-listening a pleasure. So many books on Audible are read as if by a robot. Terry Real's voice is warm, expressive, nuanced, kind and, in the right places, laced with humour. His voice is human. He both writes and reads with love and humility. This is a book on a crucial subject written and read by a master of his field.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Anonymous User
  • Anonymous User
  • 07-27-22

Very insightful. Loved it!!! Thank you!!!

Absolutely love this book and the Author.
Terry is a wealth of knowledge and so great at unpacking and explaining his thoughts and theories.
This book and his other titles could not have come at a better time for me on my journey and has inspired me greatly.
I highly recommend this book and his other titles especially Fierce Intimacy for anyone looking to improve their own personal growth, there relationship with them self as well as the relationships around them.

Thank you Terry Reel.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Amazon Customer
  • Amazon Customer
  • 07-19-22

“Get Real” advice for life

I found this an excellent tour through the fundamental traits that define us, as individuals and in relationship. Very personal, empathic case studies complement the broader observations and principles. That Real offers a complementary, ecological perspective helps the reader see that “the issues” are so much bigger than “we aren’t getting along with each other.” Challenging, enlightening and worthwhile. Thank you.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Yvette
  • Yvette
  • 06-13-22

A relational treasure chest

An open and pragmatic guide to why and where we go when we play out our adaptive child in relationships and how we can, with this knowledge, choose instead to show up as our wise adult to forge more loving and compassionate connections - acknowledging that the “we” always trumps the “me”. I really liked Terrence Real’s narration too. I’ll be recommending this book to friends and family.