LOVE IT!!

Young Miss Chidera is the wise, reasonable friend I wish I had 15 years ago. Is this book full of common sense? Maybe? Can you find similar information elsewhere? Yes.

But if you've ever experienced trauma, common sense isn't and the theory of self-care from other sources may not be accessible, so this book, be it audible, ebook, or hard copy, and the Slumflower Twitter and Instagram pages are a good place to start piecing yourself back together. Especially if you don't have access to a mental health care practitioner or are not in a place where searching for one will be productive.

I thank her truly for putting herself out there, taking abuse from online jerks who seek to diminish her, and sharing her insights, becoming a gateway to getting folks to know ourselves more honestly.

6 people found this helpful

Author appears very bias toward certain races

I was expecting to hear about fixing self-confidence and becoming more independent. However, the author threw in numerous snip bits about race, white privilege, and bias toward even the police. I was very unsatisfied and upset that I spent my money on this book :(...

5 people found this helpful

Starts off as relatable, melts down into a cliche

I've been having a hard time with covid so I thought I'd pick up reading a new book every week. I've read a few good ones about anxiety and overcoming internal and external struggles. This book starts off as relatable and quirky like that friend at work who never gives up but over time I realized "Oh right I'm reading crappy self help books because I'm depressed and working too much to actually relax". I mean no Ill will to the author of course or her identity, I just put this audio book on while gardening to pretend I'm taking care of myself. This author sounds like an insecure and overly sensitive person sometimes, it's like when teenagers try giving me unprompted life advice I already know. At some point the author says something along the lines of "Avoid all people that don't make you happy or don't put you first", it sounds like self help advice but the people around us weren't born to make us happy or meet all of our needs. We can't be absolute loners just because our standards are too high and as we get older our friends focus more on their careers instead of the "best way to be a non-toxic person". everyone has toxic qualities and I don't think avoiding everyone for not being perfect is the solution for your own happiness. This is probably the dumbest review you'll ever read but it's impossible to socialize in this current generation, I'm only 21 but sometimes I talk to people my age and it feels like they're 15 because they're taking advice like this to the heart.
I too avoid too many people and I too have high expectations, these expectations have plagued my entire life and I couldn't make friends because I was too busy "avoiding all toxic people". every person around you is toxic, we don't all live in the suburbs where we can just pick and choose which vanilla rich family will join us for a backyard yoga session. I grew up on the streets where friends were not some choice to make. when I heard the advice "Avoid everyone who gives you bad energy" it reminds me of every white person that will absolutely cut you off if you disagree with them about food choices. friends are a privelege, friends are human and friendship is a crop that takes effort to grow. nobodies absolutely dying to get into your exclusive bubble because there's hundreds of other people that don't pretend to be a celebrity every time someones nice to them. again this review was due to my concern for the lack of socializing and communicating in modern society, especially to the white people that will take this book and run to the extremes with it.

This book mostly just feels like someones trying to vent about their past life without naming the specific details, the advice lacks nuance and in general sounds very angry. not very inspirational, it's like grabbing drinks with my sister and listening to her rant all day about vague things so she can avoid talking about her real problems and crying in front of the bartender. I've written books like that in the past so I understand, the only knowledge we have are our own experiences which can be very specific, unhelpful, and narrow.

I really wanted to give this book 5-4 stars because you know "girl power" but it really did feel like a toxic vibe coming over my soul and making me feel like a teenager was venting about her two week boyfriend to me. The vibe and advice is just off , it's not as positive as I thought it would be.

This book could've been a lot more too, like how exercise and eating healthy will literally change your brains structure to help you learn better, become stronger and be less anxious. but no the author straight up listed "Remember that you can pee and that's really amazing" as a self esteem fixing mechanism.

from the book I sh_t you not she says "Peeing is a very complex process and the fact that you do it is amazing". While I was gardening I was laughing, not because this take was funny but because this was such a low attempt at being inspirational and helpful. I might as well write a book myself after 5 shots of rum,I still wouldn't write something like this and brand it as inspirational. that's like saying "You can breathe, that's pretty amazing right? your self esteem problems are solved now". instead the author could've talked about how the individuals expectations are too high due to societies standards of perfection, there are studies that show when a skinny woman is on television the risk of a viewer getting an eating disorder increases due to insecurity and that men didn't like the skinnier actors to begin with. Which would've been a better example of "You're amazing, stop overthinking things" rather than "You pee so therefore you're amazing". I just don't see it's appeal or relevance. I felt like this book was written by a teenager and sometimes I felt like it was written by a straight up child.

regardless of this slightly bad review I will be reading her other books because I heard they were pretty good and I have no doubt that this author is good at writing about other things (besides pee and excluding everyone in your path until you're a hermit)

1 person found this helpful

YOU NEED TO LISTEN TO THIS

10/10 would recommend it’s so good everything she has to say has value and I loved every minute of it! I feel like anyone can learn from this truly so so good

1 person found this helpful

WOW.

Absolutely recommend. Completely relatable, Wonderfully composed, and extremely helpful. I couldn’t put it away! I saved so many things to do or understand to be the person I want to be.

1 person found this helpful

Very remedial

This book felt like a bunch of affirmations and would possobly be good for someone early in their self improvement journey.

1 person found this helpful

I feel so valid!!

Honestly I was expecting to hear something new and mind blowing but it wasn't intense at all. It made me hold myself accountable in the most gentle way possible. Now, I feel more secure about recent decisions I've made in an effort to live a happy life. Thank you so much for this.

1 person found this helpful

Great Read ✨👏🏽

Honestly, I loved how the author called us out gently when needed, yet called us out not so gently when also needed. She shed light and truth on a lot of situations, and has a way of encouraging and guiding us two better decisions and choices. What I love the most were the quotes/sayings that she had from her own culture, which she broke down and used as an explanation for what we currently go through ourselves.

Heard it twice, loved it twice and

every time I got something out of it. To me the author/reader’s tone is just enough self compassion just enough Tea. I am learning to set boundaries, but my friend who is “skilled” at this heard it with me the second time and also found it to be relevant and helpful.

Repetitive and hand-wavey

Content of the book repeats itself a few times in the book and is based on subjective interpretations of proverbs.