• When Dad Hurts Mom

  • Helping Your Children Heal the Wounds of Witnessing Abuse
  • By: Lundy Bancroft
  • Narrated by: Randye Kaye
  • Length: 10 hrs and 52 mins
  • 4.8 out of 5 stars (53 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

Can my partner abuse me and still be a good parent? Should I stay with my partner for my children's sake? How should I talk to my children about the abuse and help them heal? Am I a bad mother?

Mothers in physically or emotionally abusive relationships ask themselves these questions every day. Whether it's physical or "just" emotional abuse, whether it's aimed at them or you, whether they see or hear it, your kids need you.

This book, the first ever of its kind, shows mothers how to:

  • Protect children and help them heal emotionally
  • Provide love, support, and positive role models, even in the midst of abuse
  • Increase their chances of winning custody
  • Help their kids feel good about themselves

©2004 Lundy Bancroft (P)2017 Tantor

What listeners say about When Dad Hurts Mom

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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  • RT
  • 06-28-19

Great information. Not the best narrator.

I found it confusing that it was written by a man, but narrated by a woman.

5 people found this helpful

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Read this book! Listening is the next best thing.

Lundy Bancroft understands the subtle differences between ranges of angry and abusive parents. Even if you are only just beginning to question if what you are seeing and experiencing qualifies for the label of abuse, reading this book will help you to understand how even seemingly subtle behaviors of angry parents DO affect children. This book is a practical guide to protect from or at the very least process those effects with children. I recommend it over and over again to parents and allies.

I have never loved the title of the book. It fails to show how gender inclusive the book actually is on the inside. Same sex couples are addressed early on with respect and awareness. Female to male aggression is also acknowledged, but noted as different in the effects it can have on children. On the other hand, I see why the title fits; it’s through the eyes of the children.

I realize this comment is ironic after the first, but I do agree with other reviewers that the Narrator definitely should have been a man. I wonder if audible could offer a choice between a male or female narrator? It’s so reassuring to hear a man validating all of these concepts and the reality is that Lundy, the author, is a man. Maybe some women are triggered from being “man-splained” yet again, but I would have preferred to hear a voice more close to the actual author’s.

3 people found this helpful

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  • NG
  • 03-13-22

incredible resource

such a difficult read. acknowledging the harsh reality was essential for me to face the facts of my situation. there were great resources and suggestions, but I have no confidence that the system will acknowledge the truth! please, family court reform.

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A real eye opener!!!!!

I learned so much from the book. how children perceive the abuse and how I can continue to give my girls the 50% of healthy life. The strength and knowledge I needed to create a plan of safety.

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Excellent!

A much needed book with so much clarity, wisdom, and practical advice. Well narrated, and brilliantly written.