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Publisher's Summary

The best seller that helps you say, "I just said 'no', and I don't feel guilty!"

Are you letting your kids get away with murder? Are you allowing your mother-in-law to impose her will on you? Are you embarrassed by praise or crushed by criticism? Are you having trouble coping with people?

Learn the answers in When I Say No, I Feel Guilty, the best seller with revolutionary new techniques for getting your own way.

©2016 Manuel J. Smith (P)2016 Random House Audio

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What listeners say about When I Say No, I Feel Guilty

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Wow! What do you know...

This book actually was effective. There is a lot of repetitious "role play" that at first started to get on my nerves, but once I realized- "OH! He is ACTUALLY teaching by examples!" It started coming together! Author makes good on the Help part of this book. It actually does and it opened my mind to be less tense about "things". We each are our own captains, to naturally be a part of any process we come across. Just being a "Yes" man robs people of experience, creative control. But that is the true reason we are alive- to create OUR experiences.

13 people found this helpful

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One of the most usefull books I've experienced.

I can't say enough how helpful this book has been for me. No fluff and no nonsense; just real, practical advice for dealing with yourself and others in a non-defensive and non-manipulative way.

9 people found this helpful

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This book was an investment to me.

This book was very helpful. I cannot afford a therapist at this time and I wanted to improve my communication skills and this book was amazingly helpful. I have the audiobook and print version that’s how much I valued this book. I hope the advice in this book is as helpful to you as it was for me, I wish I had read it decades ago.....

4 people found this helpful

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Culturally dated, single message, limited scope

There are some valuable tools here, however the book is limited in scope and background which makes this approach simplistic and formulaic. Many hours are spent on sample dialogue which are helpful but become repetitive. This book includes examples of how to speak in different situations from store clerks to sexual encounters with acquaintances or partners.

4 people found this helpful

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Very Helpful

I'm grateful for this book. There is timeless wisdom here. This is helping me take my freedom back that I never realized I gave away.

2 people found this helpful

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Not for a stubborn person

This book gives great tips and ideas for how to handle more everyday situations with other people. What it does not do, in my opinion, is give enough examples regarding marriage and possible divorce. The reason for the headline...if you’re a person who thinks they’re already perfect, you’re mind is not open enough to look at this information objectively enough to actually learn anything from this book.

2 people found this helpful

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Don't buy another audiobook for assertiveness!

This is the most practical book you will find about assertiveness. As a psychology graduate student, this was the most helpful audiobook on the topic. This audiobook together with Dr. David Burn's book on anxiety have made the biggest impact in my battle with anxiety.

2 people found this helpful

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Well written..

Essentially this book teaches you how to be assertive on your needs. As well as keeping you from taking responsibilities for others needs. Highly recommend this to anyone wanting to learn how to be more assertive.

1 person found this helpful

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Poor examples and rambling

The author gave many examples which are only applicable to men. This is strange because most self help readers are actually women. To think he would use gender neutral examples. For example, if I were writing a self help book aimed at both genders, I wouldn't give an example about my tampon wrapper loudly crinkling in the women's restroom because the men would be unable to relate to it.

I could not relate to his urinal story. I just had to go off of what men have told me about their bathroom experiences. Ironically, most men I've spoken with think the unspoken bathroom rules are ridiculous and that a closeted gay man must have come up with them.

He also rambled on with ten or more examples when his point was already made clear. Why was his father never mentioned in the parenting stories? It's amazing how even psychologists project. He clearly had an absent father, which is a shame because my father instilled all of the guilt in me and not my mother. The narrator was monotone and boring to listen to. It's much more entertaining when the narrator has a personality.

4 people found this helpful

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Good, if a bit outdated

This book has some useful advice depspite the misogyny littered throughout it's contents. The original book was written in the 1970s and it really shows.

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  • styles
  • 03-29-17

Old but gold

It was only midway through the book when the author talked about Marlon Brando that I realised how old this book was.

Everything in it is still relevant.

I got a lot from this book and will read again.

2 people found this helpful

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  • Stephen
  • 06-26-20

repetitive but very necessary

As a counselling therapist I found this book to be excellent at explaining the ideas and the points. It was rather repetitive listening to the same words however it took me untill the end before I could start calling out the interactions myself. clearly this repetition is needed to embed the learning and I intend to listen to it again and to recommend it to clients. Great easy learning, a must read.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 03-14-20

Great book, love it

Might be old, but some principles apply. People are usually mad when you do this to them, but it works so well in sorting out whats wrong.
Thanks

1 person found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 01-20-21

Mixed feelings but no gegrets

I have mixed feelings about this book. The theoretical underlying knowledge why you are not assertive is GOOD and gives real insight in why you are behaving like you are. The rules to assert yourself are good and the tecnicues also. But the dialogues are a bit rough, non-empathic. I think this is becouse it is a old book. The tecnicues wil work, but your relation wil maybe be destroyed. So I am going to figure out how to use the tecniques with an empatic way of comunicating wich still asues me of aserting myself. I'm listening about non violent comunication right now. Meshing this together will probably do the trick. I'm glad I read it, but I'm not finished yet….

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    5 out of 5 stars
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  • andrea
  • 02-13-19

hardworking but interested

found it hard to listen to and get into at times. I peservered and would say it's intriguing enough to get through to the end

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  • Ife Owofemi
  • 02-03-19

no u

A fantastical work of art with a great and broad application of how to live ones life for themselves.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 02-23-22

Boring

Probably the most boring book I've read or listened to. Especially during the examples. I nearly ripped my hair out listening to the dialogues.

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  • Justin
  • 04-24-21

Life changing

I have used the techniques in this book in interactions with friends, family, coworkers, doctors, and many others.

I took a couple of months to finish this book in its entirety but that really allowed to sink in and I feel like I have somewhat rewired my brain Into a better style of communication

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  • Ian Townley
  • 03-01-20

awesome

loved the book and will listen to again. I found it very interesting and will share the knowledge with friends