• You're Not Enough (and That's Okay)

  • Escaping the Toxic Culture of Self-Love
  • By: Allie Beth Stuckey
  • Narrated by: Allie Beth Stuckey
  • Length: 3 hrs and 54 mins
  • 4.8 out of 5 stars (1,261 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

From one of the sharpest Christian voices of her generation and host of the podcast Relatable comes a framework for escaping our culture of trendy narcissism - and embracing God instead.

We're told that the key to happiness is self-love. Instagram influencers, mommy bloggers, self-help gurus, and even Christian teachers promise that if we learn to love ourselves, we'll be successful, secure, and complete. But the promise doesn't deliver. Instead of feeling fulfilled, our pursuit of self-love traps us in an exhausting cycle: As we strive for self-acceptance, we become addicted to self-improvement.

The truth is we can't find satisfaction inside ourselves because we are the problem. We struggle with feelings of inadequacy because we are inadequate. Alone, we are not good enough, smart enough, or beautiful enough. We're not enough - period. And that's okay, because God is.

The answer to our insufficiency and insecurity isn't self-love, but God's love. In Jesus, we're offered a way out of our toxic culture of self-love and into a joyful life of relying on him for wisdom, satisfaction, and purpose. We don't have to wonder what it's all about anymore. This is it.

This book isn't about battling your not-enoughness; it's about embracing it. Allie Beth Stuckey, a Christian, conservative new mom, found herself at the dead end of self-love, and she wants to help you combat the false teachings and self-destructive mindsets that got her there. In this book, she uncovers the myths popularized by our self-obsessed culture, reveals where they manifest in politics and the church, and dismantles them with biblical truth and practical wisdom.

©2020 Allie Beth Stuckey (P)2020 Penguin Audio

What listeners say about You're Not Enough (and That's Okay)

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I’m Not Christian

I’m not even Christian and I loved this book. I started to sense something was not right with the self-centered/ self-love movement a good chunk of months ago. I’m a spiritual person and I believe in God but it’s been a different God from the Christian God. Since starting Allie Stuckey’s book, I’ve also picked up the Bible. I’ve always been open with God and humble enough to let Him show me the way of truth. I’ve been sensing that Christianity has been making its way in to my life. Allie’s book was the nudge that solidified it. Thanks, Allie!

37 people found this helpful

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Sigh of relief

As someone who has read and heard plenty of Christian self help messages but was still internally unsettled,this book came as a RELIEF. I’m not enough and never will be? My worth is found in Jesus and not in this treadmill of figuring out what it means to love myself (and subsequently placing myself firmly at the center of my own universe)? A warm blanket from the dryer.
I also knew this was exactly what I needed as I started listening to this is in the middle of a closet clean out😅 if you know,you know

10 people found this helpful

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I wish I read this book in my 20s Give it to every young person you know!

This book is one of the best books I’ve ever read. Allie outlines so relatably the reason we are not enough. Focusing on self love as out culture promotes will always ultimately lead to disappointment. She has wisdom beyond her years that can only come from God. I already want to reread it.

5 people found this helpful

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Good “read”

I’m used to Allie’s podcast so the cadence was a little hard to follow not being free flowing, but the message is there. I agree with the sentiments, but find the phrase gives the wrong message right along side what Allie is saying. I feel this give thoughts of “you’re right I’m not enough for my husband” “I’m not a good enough mother for my child”. Leads to MORE self obsession and deprivation over feeling *enough*, this word that is obsessed over in the book. Maybe the word “perfect” would have been better? No, we are not perfect, we are sinners saved by grace. But through God alone we ARE the mothers He chose for our children and sufficient wives for our husbands. “Enough” is bare minimum. So we’re not even bare minimum at our duties as Christian women. I find ironically that obsessing over the fact of not “being enough” is focusing on self. In Allie’s fb group women obsess over clothing or items that *horrifyingly* says any mantra like you are enough. I honestly feel this book and beaten phrase throughout communicates that if you feel like you are a good wife, etc, or have confidence you’re self obsessed. Again I agree with most sentiments in this book, especially problems with self love culture, but feel “you’re not enough” doesn’t even communicate them accurately. We are whole in Christ, and whole is enough for me. I do not feel guilty believing I am more than enough for my husband…

4 people found this helpful

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Not convinced that I am NOT ENOUGH

I am not convinced of not being enough and never being enough. It is okay to truly believe that God made me enough for particular things in my life and/or in a particular space at a particular time, I am enough or was enough. Self care does not equate to nor is it synonymous with self love. With that being said, self love is not synonymous with narcissism (which is used very loosely). The bible states to love thy neighbor as thyself. In order to do this, I believe we have to set ourselves as the benchmark, and with the guidance of God, in order to fully understand and know how to love our neighbor. I know it is a trite statement but how can we care for others while not caring for ourselves. I am not discrediting the opinions of the author, but I do not believe feeling as though I am enough in certain aspects of my life is a lie.

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Not What I Thought It Would be.

Overall, I want to say she did a good job writing and narrating her book. She was funny at times. I was off put by the title and didn't really want to listen to this, but I did. I agree with a lot of what she said, but to me it was a little confusing and seemed to jump around with the topics. I guess I was expecting or would have liked a more fleshed out version of why I am not enough and a Biblical view of how to relate to myself and reassurance of God's love. Although, it may be true to say that I am not enough, saying or reading that sentence makes me feel really bad. I didn't really enjoy this book that much. But others may find it helpful.

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ABSOLUTELY AMAZING

I’d like to start by saying that I am Allie’s biggest fan. I truly mean that.
Ever since I started listening to her podcast I quickly realized that I love absolutely every content she puts out. What an incredible and wise woman. A role model to me and so many others.
This book was nothing short of mind blowing and amazing. A gift to anyone who reads/listens to it.
I loved that it was narrated by Allie herself. It just made it that much better and feel like I enjoyed it more than if I had read it.
This book made me cry and laugh and convicted me in so many ways. It’s packed with so much truth and encouragement - a must-read for all women.
Allie has a gift with words and she expresses everything so beautifully and eloquently.
Grateful for the work God has accomplished through her and look forward to reading all the books she writes in the future.

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I was interested and curious until…

Wow. To be honest, I’m feeling a bit nauseated. I’ve been listening to this book and was finding it very interesting and refreshing. I’m not a Christian in the organized religion sense, and I didn’t realize this was by a Christian author when I bought it. But I was fine with the religious stuff. UNTIL…

In the chapter The High Cost of Doing You, she began talking about abortion, transgender kids, and non-monogamy in a way that felt judgmental and for me, it took away from the message in her book. I am open and want to hear different perspectives, but the idea that those things are inherently wrong because it’s in the “cult of self-affirmation” (an idea I was curious about) feels hypocritical and not taking into consideration other peoples’ different relationships with God.

Honestly, to even describe my feelings about this would take a very long time and I’m a bit overwhelmed by the sharp turn this book took.

I am imagining many people here will not like this review and that’s okay. I just wanted to share my perspective and maybe it will resonate with someone else. I feel like there could be an in-depth conversation about all of this - and I give the author a lot of credit for writing something that can create such deep thought!

1 person found this helpful

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Every woman or man needs to read this book

While this book was written with women as the target audience, every woman and man would benefit from reading it as both have been impacted by the lies of the self love culture.

1 person found this helpful

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Amazing!!!!

I love Allie’s podcast “Relatable” and I was so excited for her first book to come out!! This is an amazing book! It’s encouraging and uplifting! Every young girl and women needs to read this.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Elyse Hill
  • 11-18-21

Good premise, bad/heavily biased author

I wanted to love this book, I really did. The premise of the book is that you will never be "enough" because the worldly concept of self and purpose is intrinsically flawed and our identity and purpose are found in God. In reality the boom essentially said, try harder to be a better Christian so that you don't need a worldly concept of self & by the way anything that I (the author) think is worldly (read liberal) is worthless and purposeless. She completely fails to not any nuance or merit to the things she thinks are worldly (again, read liberal) while presuming to have figured out how to live with her worth in God. The book is HEAVILY biased toward white conservative/right-wing Christianity. Between the chapter on social justice that completely dismisses any non-church-based justice work and the chapter that says that if you're a woman & married that you need to have babies this book was a waste of the 2 hours it took me to listen to it (2x speed is my friend). I should have given up on it sooner, but I kept hoping it would get better because I wanted to like it.

2 people found this helpful

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  • Anni
  • 07-09-21

Full of jem's and nugarts of wisdom!

listened a few times and each time I take away something new, highly recommend, for yourself, your children, everyone.

2 people found this helpful

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  • TJA
  • 02-23-21

Great Book!

Great read especially for young Christian women as they start their journey through adulthood, work and marriage.

2 people found this helpful

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  • Cassie Parsley
  • 02-02-21

Unreal!

One of the best books I have ever “heard”!!! I could not recommend it enough!

2 people found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 02-23-21

Too religious

Too religious.. Was excited to read but as an atheist soon as I heard Jesus mentioned I lost interest completely.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 11-10-20

Counter culture

some people will find this book jarring because it runs counter to most of what the world preaches to us, but for those who are willing to consider the wisdom within, new joy awaits.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 07-25-21

A comforting and insightful read especially for young women

Exceeded my expectations, was totally comforting for those who feel counter-cultural in their life journey as a young Christian. Is insightful in her justified and loving guidance and ideas.
Thank you ABS!